so yup, that means that i only went to school on tues, and well i went to the last class on wed after the doc's despite having an mc for it... cnt miss that... was having super bad cramps on tues... worst in ages... im totally proud of myself for surviving the whole of tuesday despite many prompts by lecturers to head home... guess it's cos i totally paled out and looked like im from twilight, just without the sparkles... then the embarrassing part came... i fainted when i got home... i totally reached home, open the door of my room, put down my bag and BAM! out i go like a light.. kinda hit my head real hard and there was like a bump on wed... -_- feel so stupid, the bed was so near goddamnit... it's been years since i pass out due to the cramps... pathetic much... parents freaked out... fortunately they manage to get me awake before deciding if i needed the ambulance... of cos me being me insisted that i was fine... how i manage to persuade them was beyond me... cos duh~ of cos i wasnt fine i just passed the !@#$%^$ out... lolx so yup, my pathetic ending to tuesday... wed and thurs passed in a blur... mixture of pain sleep and work... im kinda behind on some work cos i've been resting... haixx stress...
the stress is so intense that i seriously just wan a life remote with a pause button, better yet, a stop button... no im nt suicidal, dun worry... i just havent find the reason to press play willingly... and the fact that deadlines are lying everywhere in the next 3 weeks aint hlping at all... i woke up just half and hour ago and went into the living room to sit with my dad... he kept asking me to go back to sleep, and said that i shouldnt work so hard.. -_- yes my dad really did say that... he said he'd seen me work like crazy and warned me bout ageing too fast cos i was working myself out... as in appearance wise -_- out of everything, he cared more bout my outer appearance... lolx... seriously daddy? i think the pressing matter should be health instead, no? and besides, i've already aged past what i am on the inside, does it matter if i do on the outside? lolx... so anw i just shrug it off and urge him to go to bed... leaving myself to sit with my dog in the living room, having my own emo moment before i come in to blog... that's my life for the past week... lolx sad eh?
autumn... the time when all upsetting thoughts come streaming back... it sucks... it's like i dun even have a choice... only time when im not is when im working and dancing... lolx now i sound stupid like some emo person resorting to working themselves out to relief pain... dun worry, im good...
humans are always bent on getting something that they can never achieve... what's even more heart wrenching is that it was so close, i was given a choice, and i made a stupid decision... despite the still ever ongoing torturous and agonizing after effect, i dun regret it... more like i can't regret it... Clo always say that i've had life experience backwards... things that i shouldnt have come across at my age... and i always jokingly countered back by saying "at least i din get knocked up or something, that would then really be living it backwards..." and she'll always give me the death glare... HAHA... well i was just pulling her leg, and of cos i get her, cos everythings at a wrong timeframe... but at least my choice set things straight... and well through that, it kinda set my life straight... nt that it is damn straight now... just much straighter then what it used to be when i was going through a rebellious stage... HAH! toking as if i aint now... let's just imagine, i was much worst before... much worst... and it came damn early for me :p im a mess... i think i've said this countless times in my blog... i aint proud of the choices i made when i was at a much stupid naive and gullible age... but i've never regretted, cos despite every stupid thing i did, i still had my personal rules and lines i will not cross... i just pushed boundaries :p HAHA! and besides, if nt for it, i wouldnt have met clo and gang... they're like the best thing that happened to me in the shittiest circumstances XD yes Ry, now's the time to comment bout how great you are and blah -_- oh and anw! you are such an influence on kiddo! did you see him dance to moves like jaggers when i was there? shit! you're turning him into you, you manwhore! HAHA!!! where did he learn to dance like that?!? he's still a kid RY!!! XD he's gonna flip when he sees this... but nothing i cnt handle~ kekeke... and anw, where in the world were you after all the dancing when you were suppose to "watch out for me" as quoted by Clo huh? if it's whoring around and getting your game on with some club chick then just forget that i asked, i do not need details, thankyouverymuch~ XD anw, i dun think i got to say this before you disappeared the other day... thanks for sticking up for me when well the dave thingy was brought up by those jerks... kiddo too, well he had his fun by handing it to them and winning those cash cos of it... so i guess that's his reward... HAHA! i miss you guys...
totally sidetracked...
so... about humans wanting what they could not have.. can you blame me for being human?
i missed having beardpapa custard puffs delivered to me at times like this...
