konbawa... blog filled wif cobwebs le... but tis post would not make much diff... just here to pour my tots on today... ps:those who dun lyk emo stuff... this post arent for you guys... please close tis window immediately...
today's filled with sadness n mixed feelins... it made me realise how much i cn miss some1... some1 i lost round 13 yrs back... some1 so dear to me although he existed less den a quarter of my life...
the feelin is undescribable n the pain is totali unbearable... tinkin back on the days where i would run to him, sa jiao-in my way tru just wantin him to carry me... he would always give in and gently place me on his lap... gently rocked me to slp... rmbred his words of wisdom and humourous gags which nvr fails to make me smile, rmbred when he lay in a place where all was white n pale... rmbred when he was gone... rmbred the day i cried and screamed lyk thr was no tmrw when i saw him lyin in that cold box... rmbred the day when tt box was taken away and place in the ground... rmbred the day when the las scoop of dirt was use to cover tt box which in turn officially marked the end of him in my life...
whoever said tt time would heal all pain is so damn freakin wrong... its been years and the pain is still thr... why must he leave so early? y must he be taken away? why cant he be here to see how im doin? how i wish he is stil around... even if he were to reprimand me for whatever rongs i did... i wouldnt mind... but now, i cn onli tink tt u will always be lookin out for me from the skies yea?
today's its his death anniversary... it made me tink alot... and life just seems so fragile to me... its as though some1 would just snap out of nowhere... death would just be within seconds... im afraid that ppl whom i realli treasure would suddenly vanish... leavin me behind, leavin me wif reali nth... i noe im selfish but im truly afraid as things just seemed so fragile... and the tot of undergoin such pain again reali scares me... i noe the crap bout this being part n parcel of life and wats not but i just cnt accept the fact of it...
i reali din realise... mayb i din wana admit tt i reali missed him... through years the feelins nvr did lessen but in turn grew much stronger... it haunted me since forever and ive been running away from it... today reality reali did slapped me in the face and i wana say that i really missed u... plz look out for me from above... and i'll always be thinkin of u from here...
I LOVE YOU, my dear grandfather... i always do...
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