konbachiwa... today sucks... these days suck so much tt i transforming into emo kid... shinjirarenai...

anw just here to make a wish... and to thank someone who was always thr for me for the past month... keepin me company tru nites of chiongin art... buy and store boxes of cream puff everyday... and deliverin them to my doorstep on stressful days when im being unreasonable... only u would think of such a way to satisfy my stupid cravins for cream puffs at midnight...

not long ago, i asked u during a phonecall tt its not lyk i would wana eat cream puff everyday, so wat happens to all the other cream puffs and i rmbred u said u ate those cos u knew if u hadnt i would be like "think u got alot money jiu cn buy and throw away izit?" But i know u dun fancy dem cos u nvr liked sweet stuff.

and if not for you i guessed i would have broken down long ago with all the shit happening... cos u was always thr to force positive vibes into me... and shouldered all the negativity...

i was glad u came back even if its just a month and that u have to go again... even tho stubborn me chose to stick to my choice... lettin u go again wasnt an easy task... and i noe its the same for u... hence today i wasnt able to see u off at the airport... i just could not bring myself to...

all in all... i did not regret having u back in my life for the month... once again, it tells me how much i treasure u as a fren... so please stay safe, healthy and happy.

Even tho u, being an anti-blog person, wouldnt read this... which is exactly my pt... i would still like to say Thx D.

konbachiwa... here to lash out all the negativity im feelin... im tired... all the shit happenin around me... and tryin to act like its fine is really getting in on me after having lived tt way for 16 yrs... lucky i have frens who keep my head clear instead of it steering its own into the dark side... but seriously i feel dumb... haven i learnt my lesson after 16 freakin yrs? the ans is no i have not... and seriously i wonder why... mayb im just a masochist... or just plain dumb... what was i even expecting from dem... mayb i just loved the few secs of joy and thinkin tt hey dey arent tt bad or dey changed... F no... and rite i shudnt think tt dey arent tt bad... i shud b thinking hey finally im gd enough for dem... and even tho now im at the place i wanted to be at and with the person i wanted to be with most... i dun feel a little relief at all... at least i dun allow myself to... all of this is endin soon so why depend on it... why think that its a happy picture when alls gonna burn up the next second... in the end i'll just feel as miserable as the last time... gettin me no where... its the same as not improvin which sucked... seriously, i gotta learnt...

POA: do not ask an sick guy or comment "are you crazy?" it gets you nowhere cos insane peeps will just say " im crazy bout u" cheesy but hey its stil happening now alright... sick ppl stil do exist... watchout...

minna~ here to update on current feelins... its lyk 1.18 in the mornin and im still not aslp... prelim2 resumes tmrw... haixx... most dreaded physics n amaths... heck la... no drive anw... too much stuff on my mind...

anw got to noe tt my yamapi is down with flu!!! when i heard... i was lyk damn worried... yea typical fangirl... but cnt hlp it... luckily it wasnt the h1n1... guess he has been busy with drama filmin and 24hr teleV programme ba... tts y after the 24hr TV ryo and him fall sick? haixx... all fangirls must be so worried now...

enuff of fangirl moments... wanna say tt last nite had a v weird dream... a dream tt i wun talk in detail... just plain weird... wish i had this decipher tingy for dreams... aint a nitemare lyk the ones i always get... considered a gd dream? with characters tt are quite distant from me now... v weird... and it has lyk diff chaps of same person? damn freaky lo... once again... its not a nitemare!!! tts wats freaky... cos i normally either have nitemares or dun hv dreams... im a dreamless person... and normally for nitemares i cn easily figure dem out as its normally bout the same probs ive been dwellin on... but this dream was diff... how weird... feel like sharin... but as to not cause misunderstandins... i shall keep mum... but anw woke up this morning in a happy mood de... cos of the dream... ridiculous but true... but it din last long la... too much on my mind till the good vibes arent enuf as a distraction... stil... i would like to get to the bottom of this dream... haha... maybe its a sub conscious tingy? aiya wakaranai... i shall go slp le... wonder if i will have the same dream?

oyasumi~~~ ashita ganbarimasu...