konbachiwa... here to lash out all the negativity im feelin... im tired... all the shit happenin around me... and tryin to act like its fine is really getting in on me after having lived tt way for 16 yrs... lucky i have frens who keep my head clear instead of it steering its own into the dark side... but seriously i feel dumb... haven i learnt my lesson after 16 freakin yrs? the ans is no i have not... and seriously i wonder why... mayb im just a masochist... or just plain dumb... what was i even expecting from dem... mayb i just loved the few secs of joy and thinkin tt hey dey arent tt bad or dey changed... F no... and rite i shudnt think tt dey arent tt bad... i shud b thinking hey finally im gd enough for dem... and even tho now im at the place i wanted to be at and with the person i wanted to be with most... i dun feel a little relief at all... at least i dun allow myself to... all of this is endin soon so why depend on it... why think that its a happy picture when alls gonna burn up the next second... in the end i'll just feel as miserable as the last time... gettin me no where... its the same as not improvin which sucked... seriously, i gotta learnt...
POA: do not ask an sick guy or comment "are you crazy?" it gets you nowhere cos insane peeps will just say " im crazy bout u" cheesy but hey its stil happening now alright... sick ppl stil do exist... watchout...
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