I believe some of you might know that i was feeling really down on monday night and that extended to my tuesday too... and maybe wed too arhh but wateva... i can't really go into details cos it might lead into a big mess, forbidden situation... yes that's the word... so anw in short, i got twirled into a really ridiculous drama in school... yea u might think, eh what's new right? everyone's been in "highschool drama" someway or other before... and it's ME we're tokin bout... all the more it's a norm for me right? you guys are so wrong... i tried so hard laying low, just wanna get over with the years smoothly and come out with my BA or masters... STILL shit happen... and it's not like i can't handle drama since i've been there done that totally over it... but this has surpass any other shit i've encountered in school... totally topped the list cos im being blamed for someone's unattractiveness... i wouldnt give a damn bout lil girls and their immature shit... but this is totally another level and i cant do anything neither can i rebut... i totally wanted to play with fire just to see that someone's face... but thinking twice, it aint worth riskin for... TSK! so yea... was feelin so wei qu those few days... and i had to type in chinese in the last two post becos i cnt find an exact word in english to fully express "wei qu"... wronged is totally not enuff... HAHA so anw yea i think im over it, but who knows? cos tmrw's Mon again... hate Mondays! like it wasnt bad enuff just as a monday... RAWR!
met up with LS that monday night after class and started pouring it out to her... cos i knew she wouldnt jump to conclusions without hearing me out and judge me when i start on the forbidden subject... she actually said that if it happened to her, she wouldnt have enough self control to stop herself from playing with fire just to get back at that someone... LOLX in a way i got praised eh? and yea to add on to the shit tt day... my photos were rejected... yes 100 photos picked out and edited from 300 000 was rejected... just believe me when i say that they werent rejected cos they were bad cos i got an A for photography...so anw was super bothered by the fact that i have to retake them and that i do not have a cam... LS helped me ask her fren whom i do not know and she said yes as to lending it to me!!! and she totally travelled all the way down to dhoby gaut from cck to pass it to LS... OMG how generous and kind is that man?!?! i was shocked, like why would a stranger lend me a DSLR with super expensive zoom lens without even knowing me and neither asking what's it for... totally asked nothing, and just agreed to lend it to me... i was super thankful to both LS and her fren and i promised to treat them to dinner ^^ though her friend politely rejected out of courtesy but i insisted... totally saved me...
so with the camera, on tues and wed i was busy going out with LS taking street fashion photography once again... and!!! Jen whom i knew from LS came all the way down to town after class just to let me take 1 photo of her... 1!!! and cos of sch, she had to wear formal wear, she brought clothes to change into just for that 1 photo!!! i was touched like crazy la... and when i told her bout how UNI might be pushed back a week, she was like "NOOOOOOO!!! i'm flying off for intern then... why like this?!?! I WANNA SEE YOU DANCE~~~" HAHA super cute, and at the same time im grateful that i got her as a fren... she also invited me to a dance production at NYP on thurday night...
so thurs after class i rushed down to NYP for the production and to return the DSLR to LS's fren who insisted in me treating her to the food in the school foodcourt -_- to me that really wasnt a treat i had in mind... but she insisted nothing more than that... oh well who am i to disagree right? and she turned out to be an adult, i think 48yrs old... totally wasnt how i imagined based on LS's description on how she used to be a ballroom dancer, currently dancing hip hop and what not... travelling around the world as well as being a part time home tutor... yea all the stuff dun link de... so i guess is due to LS's bad description :p HAHA!!! throughout dinner we talked on really random stuff like how to be successful like her... LS was harping on how she got so much money and such, she answered "if at this age not rich can go bang wall le la" LOL so cute... talked on dance, photography, and yes we touched on the subject that i have scoliosis and am still dancin, but don't dare to go back to ballet or try ballroom... both which she specialized in... she gave me some opinions and at the end she said " i have a friend who has scoliosis too, and like you, he continued to push himself to dance... he was taller than me when we met, but soon became shorter as scoliosis worsened... and his organs got constrained too, yet he's still dancing... i admire him so much, and now im starting to admire you" i literally LOL cos i totally dun deserve such a high praise... so anw the conver ended on the note of concern and of cos asking me to be careful... went for the production and well... nothing much :p it was on modern, im actually very interested in the genre, just that the performers seemed like they aren't ready and were just pushed on stage like last min... nt to be forgotten failed lighting is just a turn off... stupx stuff happened, like the lights went out before the final pose of a dance -_- thx arh... lolx... but somehow i went home with the urge to dance... good note i guess...
oh! dunno which day, wed or thurs, when i was at my busstop waiting... an old man started talking to me... he wasnt some weird DOM but he was actually really wise and well dressed... just that i was lil freaked out by the qns he asked cos it's totally as though he wanted to intro me to his grandson... kept asking bout me, even asked whether my parents are working or doing business... -_- and he kept telling me bout his family too... when i told LS later... she was like "ask if he has a rich grandson!" lolx funny arh... -_- anw i think that old man was just lonely cos apparently his kids are working, his granddaughters all in uni and his grandson is in the army... yes he told me all this -_- i was just weirded out by why he talked to me, cos i wasnt exactly dressed in a way which elderly would approve of... especially so with red hair and makeup HAHA so anyhow i tried to keep up with our conversation, thinking that he's just feelin lonely... somehow he reminds me of my grandfather... haixx... how i wish he was still here... there's so many things i wanna do for him... he left too early and i was too young to do anything for him... one of my biggest impossible wish is to buy a Picasso's cap and personally put it on for him... cos from what i could rmbr at that age, he would definitely look very handsome in it along with his super shades... my grandfather was a fashionista ok?!? HAHA... ahh~ how i miss him... at times i'm really afraid that me being forgetful would forget that he ever existed and participated in my life... but gauging from the frequency of how he kept popping up in my mind... that fear is redundant i guess...
friday out with LS again... accompanied me to print my stuff near my school... and went to the NLB to search some ref books... but to no avail TSK! went to our usual to have dessert... Surprisingly i was in no mood for tiramisu 0.0 HAHA! got something else and actually i had to rush home to do my work but ended up sitting there and chatting bout really serious stuff and some no-no subjects... LS cried -_- i didnt make her ok!!! actually i think we both agree that my story was more sad then hers... but yes i shrugged it off, didnt cry, but she did... i was like " OMG! you better not cry i tell you, public neh, dun embarrass me!" and she was like "not gonna la..." then a teardrop cascaded down her cheeks -_- thx man... like i bully you like that... i should be the one crying ya know?!? lolx... i wun say dumb words like "i understand girl" cos apparently that's super patronizing and how would i know since im not you... i totally hate it when ppl tell me that... so i didnt... instead i said "it would be cruel to say i told you so... just let this be a lesson learnt ba... only with burnt finger will we learn..." and of cos she agrees with me on it... tts why we're bff!!! keke^^ the thing with us is that we do not candy-coat reality... she knows how i hate candy-coated reality and tts how she roll too... we're totally straightforward with our opinions, it sounds nasty at some point but the truth always hurts...
on the way home, more serious talk... but of cos no more crying from her, cos if she were to cry again, im gonna run away... HAHA! that night, passed siqi her cam, slept for awhile then decided to head out to find my frens... just so happen that many of them were in town^^ always in m'sia TSK TSK! so anw went to Clo's house and she was choreo-ing new dance for the girls... the song was cool... kpop... how did i miss that song? anw it's by son ga in... i shall put it up here...
yes yes yes, it's an inappropriate dance genre... but no matter how inappropriate it is, it requires skills and professionalism... save your 2cents worth from this segment onwards ok... if you're gonna judge... dun even bother commenting or telling me... so back to what i was saying, apparently our old clan has dispersed... cos i only know the guys, lynnette and clo... the other girls were new... and cocky... i was like playing around going along with their choreo cos i actually liked the song they used... and some ignorant !@#$# actually commented, referrin to me "she's not as great as how Clo always claims neh... tot how great she was... guessed not pfft..." before i could react, Clo was already onto her threatening her to watch what's shes saying... epic thing she said was "V's great in her studies, doing well in what she loves, in a totally different world from you... you can only shake your butt with me here... and if you dun stop being a smart ass and shut that trap of yours, i'll have you walking down the streets naked... count yourself lucky you're with us... " lolx as usual protective Mummy Clo is always helping me...instead of getting mad, i was fired up to nail it... and i did! not the full thingy but enough to make those ignorant brats swallow what they said... quote of that day from Nick was "OMG V's Back" HAHA!!!
i love my crazy peeps and i missed those fun times when we were always working together... they are totally what people refer to as "bad company" but to me, they were there for me through my early adolescent years when my parents were too busy to care... i was totally a wrecked ship then, and instead of how ppl assume that they led me astray... they taught me alot, and till now, they've always been there for me... and in comparison to what "good company" i have, they are actually more reliable... i wun make myself sound like an old lady by saying i've seen alot... but i gotta say that, those years i learnt alot... and even though many things were too much for me to handle at that age... and maybe till now i still think that im not old enuff to know stuff... im thankful that they pulled me through...
enough bout serious stuff... back to that day... went out with them cos they wanted to drink and chat... yes it's been long since i hang with them... i kept to my promise of not drinking in those kinda places, at that kinda time... ^^ even though i looked ridiculous with juice, i kept to my promise.. see this ZC!!! HAHA~ cos i know you'll fly from LA to come hit my head... so anw was hanging with them minding my own business then sudd got some idiotic girl come bitch me bout how i broke up her relationship with her guy... it was super ridiculous... like seriously out of nowhere and me?!? yo i was minding my own business yo! i was like sha yan at first... cos it was seriously ridiculous... then she started going on bout how her guy was eyeing me... and i immediately though "not another one who's gonna blame me for their unattractiveness..." what the hell did i do to deserve all these? Clo was so worked up and was hurling a bunch of vulgarities... i scoffed and asked her to let it go... of cos, being me i don't like getting shout at for no reasons... stupid reasons=no reasons btw... HAHA so i was like "you know what, i dun think you know how this works... firstly, you should thank me instead for helping you find out that you've got a douchebag for a bf... secondly, when you get another guy, come to me for a leash and some horse blinds alright? that way this prob won't resurface..." lolx i don't really know why i dared to say those things to a crazy girl who's super mad at that point of time... but yea im no pushover... and it totally reminded me of what happened on mon... so i guess i had to vent it on her :p besides nick and gang were beside me... with all the muscle mass i doubt she dares to touch me :p i applaud her courage for even daring to come up to me and start bitching... seriously if she cant stand her guy eyeing some other girl then please stay at home, leash him to the door or something... why do i always get these crap... and! i wasnt even trying... how pathetic's that? in your face!!! HAHA so anw yea she cried and stomped away i think... i didnt look at her after that... pissed me off... as if my week isnt rough enuff... all i can say is that she's damn suay for gettin at the wrong person at the wrong time...
slept in late on saturday, obviously... and was working throughout the day... at least it was peaceful and shitless... HAHA so down to today... one word... ROUGH!!!
mum was naggin about how i din sleep to do my work, haven't fin and yet im going for dance... normally i'll just brush it off and just send myself out the door... guess im really grouchy due to not sleeping today... so shut her up by saying "why bother caring now when you should've before... the time came and is now gone... too late... don't bother as if you can do anything" left immediately after i said that then in sets regret and guilt... oh well... though i actually meant what i said... i guess i shouldnt have since she's my mum... but still... aiya dunno la... oh well...
and when i was at the bus stop there's this lesbian couple... not that im against lesbians or whatever... but yea... they were like pda dao li pu beside me... they were totally at it and the "guy" kept brushing against me... initially tot it was accidental and was already bothered ttm... then the brushing turned more to rubbing... to add a cherry on top the "guy" actually had the nerve to wink at me while making out with the gf... i was super disgusted, so tempted to go home and take a bath... not to mention pissed... hence i told the "guy" to F off aloud... then the gf turned to me... and i was like "ask it" signaling to the "guy" LOL i totally didnt noe to say ask him or ask her... i had to say it... super disgusted ttm...
hence with all these adding on to my backache cos i've been sitting throughout the night doing work... dance was a total mess... i couldnt concentrate... and my lecturer just had to email me bout school work at that time... all that filled my mind was unfinished work, plus more work my lecturer mailed me and pain... of cos all these aren't suppose to bother me... guess im losing on professionalism.. cos no matter what, they should be separated... but whatever... i lost it... screwed up big time... today's a day of regret and all i can do now is to shake my head while i type this...
so to sum it up... the week has been a roller coaster ride... and i realized that my judgement aint that good after all... maybe cos i boast too much bout it :p it's flippin on me now... i realized that i lost friends due to not contacting them... it only hit me like a big yellow bus cos i think im distancing from a close friend of mine... at least one i assume to be close to me... but the thing is... is friendship suppose to be built on frequent contacts? how is it that people whom im not close to are willing to help me without asking yet a close fren of mine's starting to doubt me just becos we don't contact each other as often as we used to? maybe the fault lies in me too cos i feel the same way... or maybe my judgement was just wrong from the start... but of cos there are peeps whom i know we'll be there for each other even though we are apart and that phonecalls and what not cost a bomb... HAHA like Clo and gang as well as my peeps in LA... love them! anyhow, i have to admit that im one that does not initiate phone calls, meetups or text msges... but tts how i am... i just dun... and im always workin myself to death... busy as always... im still trying to initiate stuff but yea it's hard... you guys might ask why i always hang out with LS, like this wk, during the weekdays i met up with her like every single day... tts cos she's havin her hols and she accommodates my timings... and i always do last min stuff like eh meet, dinner later, got something to discuss... or she will come ask me... you need dinner not... so yea... and besides, i always discuss my work with her, cos she's an art person too, she understands, opinions and help are needed during the process... I'm really thankful to her but of cos me being me, i dun normally say it out loud... cos the more i meant it, the harder it is to say it into her face... oh well... the entire week's rough, im grateful that i met and made friends that are definitely an asset for me... and that i've had great friends...
this has been a very long and truthful post... honest... and well after reading... if your views on me differ, i dun really care... cos love me for me or dun love me...
xoxo
ps: started writing at 6plus, stopped, did some work and came back to fin this... now it's 11pm -_-
pps: i actually didnt hit publish post -_- so yea nw it's Monday morning -_-
Now I am trying to to stay warm during the current week. It is cold and wet outside, but this is an improvement from the snow that seems to fall weekly since Christmas. Still, I am feeling cold in my hands, which has given me an excuse to consume quite a bit of tea today. 