so i shall start with an event that is the most memorable one for me... SS3!!! keke^^ yes i attended super junior's concert!!! right till now, i still couldnt believe i saw donghae in person... he's so... ahh~ words can't explain... like seriously, all's like a dream... TSK cliche or what... i totally think im becoming super cliche recently... like i cant believe some stuff i said came out from my mouth =X so anw, the show was awesome!!! maybe cos im biased but wateva~ anyone that's gonna talk shit bout this after reading my blog is gonna get it real bad from me... lolx so dun even try~ ok i shall move away from my fangirl moment and touch on other stuff...
managed to go for the Valentino exhibition held at the Resorts World Convention Centre cos i received free admission tickets ^^ planned on going even before receiving invites from my aunt... i just have to catch it, it was definitely one of the highly anticipated events then for me... the exhibition was simply gorgeous... like literally, the setting was spacious and simple and the dresses were amazing... There was one that totally blew me away... it was literally shining under the dim lightings... Like if i had the money i would totally own it... keke^^ I learnt and was inspired by the exhibition, from exhibition set ups, process throughout the years to the dresses, everything was like a valuable lesson... i wish there would be more of such exhibitions and that i would receive invites or i should say sponsors... keke^^ i dunno how much the tickets cost, might be ordinary but still, it's still a save somehow :p big thanks to my aunt!
speaking of sentosa... i made quite a few trips there with friends as well as family... i love sentosa so much i should totally get like the vip package thingy for like cheaper entries in or watever... brought my parents there and visited the universal studios... well if i dun bring them there, who will right? i wouldnt wanna regret next time for not bringing them here when they can still walk around and enjoy it for themselves... like how i am for not being able to bring my grandma there... if only sentosa was made more wheel-chair bound friendly... my grandma aint wheel-chair bound but her legs arent working very well now, so whenever we take her out, a wheel chair's a need... haixx... so anw brought my parents there, along with my bro... day didnt work out very well cos like duh we all dun do family day neither are we close around the house, shut, lock doors and stuff but yea... im glad i brought them there anw...
visited the zoo too~~~ keke^^ it's been so long since i went there, couldnt even rmbr the last time i visited... my fren said not only do i look like a foreigner, i also behave like one... like a tourist -_- oh pls... no one said that locals cant visit tourist attractions ok... and besides, i like tourist attractions and that's what matters :p
let's see what else happened... oya! my birthday as well as my mum's... seriously, this year has gotta be the suckiest birthday ever!!! my birthday fell on a friday, and coincidentally i had to submit 3 subject finals on that day, as well as a presentation for final grading... and on the wednesday and thursday before that, i had to submit an architectural design rendered in a software, a video walkthrough of my design and a book on photography, contents typography and what not... not to be forgotten my normal homework for every other subject i had... didnt slept for the entire week... and to make it worst, after my presentation my class started singing Happy Birthday song for me and everyone at the basement turned and looked... -_- all our classes are like at this big space in the basement... so everyone in foundation that had class that morning was there to witness the whole thing... i'm happy with the well wishes and all but i really can't stand such stuff... like how i actually dun like it when someone gives me a big bouquet of flowers in public or like singing Happy Birthday song at a restaurant... unnecessary attention... that's what it is.... dun like!!! i feel so bad for turning down friends who wanted to celebrate my birthday for me... really really sorry... people asked me what i was doing after school on my birthday and all i answered was to go home and sleep... My pathetic birthday wish was also to sleep for more than 6 hrs... yes, just like that and i'll be contented... So anw after the whole day, i managed to get myself home safely, drop dead and made my wish come true ^^ no birthday cake for me on my 18th birthday... especially told ppl that i dun need any birthday cakes cos i really dun like eating them... the cream on it taste weird... so guess what mummy deary bought me? TIRAMISU!!! keke a small cup of tiramisu, but it was enough to make my day~ mum knows best i would say ^^
watched ballerina who loves bboy on the next day... it was great and it totally reminded me how i have this thing with bboys... poppers definitely blow me away but somehow i feel more distant with them? like they are so pro and mighty that all i could do was to stand afar and stare at them in awe... just a weird feeling i always had but with bboys, they're much easier to mingle with, not to mention fun and crazy... have many frens who were once or still are bboys but hardly any popper... weird eh? so anw, had fun at the show and i was like tellin ppl how my birthday was actually on the 19th rather than 18th cos my 18th sucked... HAHA!!!
for my mum's birthday, it fell on a saturday... couldnt celebrate for her due to some shit that happened... cant rmbr what now but yea i made her a card~ keke^^ there's like this photo of me and her on the front... family collage thingy inside and a note at the back with a picture of a cup of cappuccino with heart-shaped foam on it... keke^^ knew she grew lil stress with work lately, so came up with this to gear her on as well as a cappuccino filled with love to spur her on OT nights ^^ happy that she liked it and like all mothers, mummy deary showed off the card to her frens and colleagues... TSK embarrassing neh u~ HAHA
right, haven't touched on dance... as in my own not the bboy thingy... well when i was working, pulling a late night as usual... i came across this note my lecturer wrote me... he signed off with "dance on:)"... it didnt really hit me back then but it did when i saw it again... made me stopped what i was doing and just think... it's so easy to write that down but so hard to actually make it happen... since he's also a dancer himself... i admire him for being able to balance out dance and school when he was schooling, and now, when he's working... not to be forgotten, topped the entire interior design faculty and came out with a masters in ID... as well as coming out as champion in many dance sport competition... how he did that i seriously do not know...
the whole thing was on my mind the entire time for months... whether i should just stop dancing because schoolwork and such... i know all my readers are prolly tired of me touching on this subject but seriously it occurred to me once again but aint related to health... health aint the main reason, which it should be, technically speaking... but now it's just a supporting factor... talked to a fren on it and she was like "pfft... yea right... lemme tell you, you are not gonna stop dancing... trust me... no matter how many times it has crossed your mind or is gonna cross your mind again in the future, you wun..." and just like that she answered me, totally shutting me off and went onto another topic...
think it was like a few weeks later, i went back to the topic with my fren... i was like "hey about dance, i actually said i wanted out of an upcoming performance neh..." and she was like "and then..." "but im still in?" she totally LOL-ed and continued "i knew it, that's why i asked and then... seriously V didnt i say you won't... but wow getting it outta your mouth is one huge hurdle le, im surprised to a certain extent." she was totally spot on... it was extremely difficult, even to the extent of torturous to even say out that i dun think i will be joining the performance... i couldnt even extract the uncertainty factor of my statement and said something firm along the line of "i won't be..." it was like i had to dig the back of my own throat to make myself puke like some anorexic person... yet a simple statement was able to make me swallow back my own puke... lolx sounds disgusting when i phrased it like this... but it was exactly like what i had described... the puking out was far more difficult and torturous than the swallowing back... which should actually be opposite in reality...
several factors lead me to that decision... for one, i was thinking that, to even think of wanting to stop, i must have good reasons... i dunno if anyone understands what im getting at but this is the best i can phrase it... secondly, my health certainly aint turning for the better in any sense... not to forget, i had to get my lungs checked some time mid year... and obviously something will come out wrong in the end just like how my other check ups ended... next, i really don't wanna be the rat shit... injuries are bound to be back to find me for sure, i will have to miss practices cos of school work, and no matter how i try to self deceive, i have to admit that im no super woman... what should i do if im not entitled any time to practice having already missed lessons and what not... so yea... biggest worry...
other stuff would be things like how i hate to be the one to hinder team unity in areas like making others worried cos i wouldnt be able to attend every single practice... well from my pov i'm uncomfortable with ppl not attending practices even if they could churn out the ultimate result during performance... so what if you can handle yourself, you can't handle the whole team, the whole performance... cos no matter what, it's a team's effort and it couldnt be achieved just based on one's sole ability... stuff like causing mental imbalance in the team bugged me too... not that im all that great or whatsoeva... but yea was talking to a fren and she was like "likely to happen... when they start asking themselves why they have to attend every lesson and yet you dun... shit happens... just like how it did with some of your other friends... and where are they now? xin li bu ping heng, can't be help.... not your fault, yet at the same time you're kinda the reason... then the whole team and performance wouldn't work, and the audience could tell no matter how good you are at acting or feigning..." i dun even noe whether i should applaud my fren for able to make my life miserable with this conversation or not... well she's actually right since she knows alot bout me from way back and've seen all that happened around me... what she said didnt sound nice but it was truthful...
so yea all these made me blurt out a reluctant decision yet in the end i just can't stay away... i wonder if im being selfish or not... and i really wanna noe which is a better decision that i should've or already made... but anyway anyhow im still dancing... it certainly doesnt feel nice to be always on my heels, chasing and getting to the same pace as other's in a shorter amount of time but well it can't be helped... i missed practice, i gotta work double, triple hard... but i have to admit, it sucks and it is extremely frustrating to the extent of wanting to pull my hair out, scream, bang the wall or throw a tantrum like a spoilt brat... on the contrary, at the end of every lesson, i always feel great and thankful that i danced, am still dancing, will continue to dance and that im still given a stage to perform... im also thankful that siqi is with me... total motivation and a darling... after the first prac together... she texted me saying that she was glad to see and dance with me again... that she felt addicted to dance again and of cos that she missed the addicted crew... totally an angel~ and with all these, everything's certainly worth it...
so anyway as to why im able to blog right now is cos i do not have school for the rest of the week... and that for now, my classes are only on two days... it's term 4 right now and all of us are being split up into our desired specialism... and we have to do a specialism based project which would determine if we would be entitled a spot in the specialism we want... i was happy at first but now after reading my briefs and what not im intimidated by the fact that more work have to be done and that more time was given to us cos the school knows we totally need it... -_- so yea, even tho i dun have to go to school on some days i might have to burn midnight oil too cos the workload is just more overwhelming than before... well at least im doing something that i chose to do for the rest of my life right? im afraid to say "something i like" cos in most cases, when im working, i tend to hate what im doing... and that's why i hate to mix work hobby and play... like how i certainly would not dance in my school when requested or design an outfit for a friend... so yea... main point is that i have more freedom as to how i wanna use my time instead of spending most of it traveling or sleeping through a long 4hr break in between lessons... im also happy to have time to be back on my exercise regime... the only time when i really exercise is during the holidays... other then that, when there's school, the only exercise i have is dance... so yea it started today cos i was aching so badly on monday due to dance... went for my morning run before heading out to meet my frens... and from tmrw onwards im gonna go for my morning run and do my work... that was the only rest day i allowed myself to have... there is no gym near my house -_- unlike when i was living in khatib... totally can go to the gym at the stadium and grab breakfast thr too... and here, my running route is extremely sucky with bad air... back at khatib i have like two routes where i can alternate... and the air and wind there is much nicer... TSK! i sound crazy now dont i... talking bout diff air... but it's seriously diff... i dunno what specifically but hell yea it's diff alright... tsk tsk... o well, no use complainin... im stuck here anyway...
OYA! forgot to mention a piece of good news... a video of mine got nominated by several lecturers and my dean for this international film festival thingy... shocking when they announced my name along with a few others in front of the whole cohort after my morning lecture... my frens were like congratulating me and i think my response aint what they expected... TSK how do you guys expect me to react when i just woke up from the boring lecture which was a movie screening and was like havin a grouchy morning phase? and besides, it aint something i aimed for, it just suddenly popped out... i gotta say that im happy that my work was recognized and that they see potential in me in this field... but well yea i hadnt expected much in this area so yea happy but not overjoyed nor excited... bummer to most of my frens but oh well im like that :p
some troubling stuff recently, well with my new timetable, should i get a part time job? i could use the extra cash :p hmm... night jobs earn more as usual and im legally 18... hmm...
so yea i think that's bout it for the stuff i think is worth mentionin and that i could rmbr... right now it's 1.47am... and my brain is certainly not functioning right anymore... hence im gonna go off~ not sure when i'll be back but yea... will update this when i have something else to add~ nitex nitex peeps~
♥*\(^.^)/*♥
xoxo
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