minna san konnichiwa... bloggin in the morning as i hv nth to do n i tend to slack at hme today to rest... im aching all over due to dancing for 3 days... but i aint gonna complain!!! i rather have dance everyday n ache everyday den to hv normal daes... haha... abit of a masochist in a way... ecp was hell!!! i was sick on a fri n mon... so i had a long weekend without hw... but when i got back to sch on tues... i nearly fainted... stacks of hw piled up to sky high... and thr were lyk 3 ppl hlpin to sort out my hw? aint exaggeratin... and to make matters worst some are already dued or the deadline is just the next day... i was in such a dilema tt i din noe wich subject to start on 1st... addin on to my art coursework, i seriously was at a lost... in the end i cleared my chem in a day... a few pract paper... HELL!!! 2nd day i cleared physics and ss... which was a few phy prac paper and ss sbq and ss test... its an idiot proof test though... wich actualli is quite hard... the las tym we did an idiot proof test... it did declare us all idiots... demoralisin... but tis tym i scored a full mark!!! haha next i tried clearin my double maths n art... stil in the process cause hw just keep piling up... at the end of the whole ecp... every subject has a diff pile of hw... i duno how im gonna do it but im happy tt the stressful week was over... did scared lots of peeps cos i was super cui everyday... imagine havin just recovered from food poisonin n den everyday slp at 1 plus and wake up at 4 to continue on hw.... EVERYDAY O... tinkin back i duno how i did it... and manage to not faint at sch... on the las day of ecp, the minute i went hme, i slpt lyk a dead log.. my mum tot i had commited suicide... choy la!!! anw thx for every1 tt has been puttin up wif my grumpy attitude durin tt week:) its over!!! haha

after ecp had dance on monday... but had to leave at noon to accompany my mum go walk walk as she specially took an off day to spent it wif me... so monday din reali dance much but seein laoshi made my day... stil rmbr durin ecp when juniors had dance and we dropped by durin recess... hasnt seen laoshi in a long tym hence i was all emotional... firstly cos i missed him and tt secondly i missed my cute juniors... and last of all i wana dance la!!! who wouldnt choose dance if compared to facin borin lessons and piles of dued-hw? super bui tahan de... wasnt even payin attention in class... haha XD tues had dance prac too... i wonder y thr were so many guest? haha but they sure brought lots of laughter... inside joke la... haha... after lesson laoshi along wif dem left, Vian n me head to BH for lunch... pan fried fish:) yummy haha!!! so fortunate to have a decent restaurant near sch... after tt immediately head back to sch and laid in ava rm lyk a corpse due to bad cramps... others were preparin for the bbq in the evenin... durin the bbq... all was well ba... just tt i was havin cramps so din enjoyed myself... watched our syf vid!!! and i kope from chers comp... haha... good to brin ur usb all aroun and havin an 8gb mcard... heres the vid :)

spot the errors? the 2 suckers! serve u right sia :p bleahx! i feel tt laoshi is the genius la... without those perfect lightings it wouldnt look gd... back to the bbq... invited some guest but onli 1 came... haha he even got lost o :) wahaha... the bbq ended on a quiet note and mayb a sad 1 as i was tokin to some1 bout sometin... became a cousellor... aftr tt when to frens hse to hlp sew clothes... WTH rite... haha but nvm at least he fetch me to n fro... wich is ying gai de... good luck for ur project :) at last hme sweet hme... chatted n msn wif a bunch of peeps n couldnt go to bed... to high le... thx to someone who introduced some techno songs to me... haha :)

ytd was KUNYANG's BDAY!!! happy bday o! went to his party but had to leave early la... so sry neh... hpe u lyk all the presents :) next when to ZY's dance class... and i was LATE!!! cnt bliv it... so paiseh la... sry... i wasnt the last but stil late!!! urgh... class was lyk super good!!! altho had to ate med to stop the cramps but it was worth it:) so long nvr pia le lo... cock here n thr but o well... haha... dance reali made my day... thx neh ZY!!! aftr tt actuali wana catch a movie but din... so ate wif Vian wich was my 1st meal of the day n chatted for super long... after tt she had to rush off... hope ur grandma is feelin better :) dunno y made me worried too lo...

the worst part of the day was tt stupid fone call... damnit... hai si ren... almost caused my life as yea i guo ma lu bu kan lu la... dumb bliv i was stronger den the cars... well at least im stil alive? haha den selfish me made a dumb sms n make another person feel bad... along with me... wth was i tinkin... no, shud say my mind wasnt even tinkin at tt tym... suck! so selfish lo... damnit... SRY NEH!!! u noe hu u r... n stop rawrin... at least i nvr type out ur name :) but reali wana apologise la... rong to b so selfish n bein such an ass... but cnt b hlp cos mayb im an ass aftrall... who noes? n i shud hv tot tt mayb u had sum rough tyms too n tt i shudnt hv been so selfish... arh goddamnit... but i noe u wil forgiv me de la rite :) haha :P super bhb... but anw feelin better now as the prob is still a prob wich cnnot b resolved... well unless i die la... but i wouldnt die b4 tt dumb person... all i cn do is to blame it on bad luck ... and tt my next life would b beta? haha nah my life is much fortunate den others :) im stil learnin to love my life so pardon me if i ever bugged u bout any nonsence ever again...

ok shit happens but its all over now... im back to normal again... as u noe night cn do sum serious emo-in to peeps... but its bright n early now n im awake due to CRAMPS... haixx... if i were a boy... HAHA i wouldnt pass NS... my fren always sing " if i were a boy... i would hoong all the zhabor in the world~~~" haha hopin to b a big casanova in her next life... dumb dumb... o well i seriously hv nth else to blog le la... at least i cnt rmbr... so every1... stay healthy yea :)

hpe to dance soon cos i bui tahan!!! haha lyk sum drug addict... and oya ZY, i blogged kkaes? and stop bloggin in chinese... i du bu dong :( so unfair... mayb i shud blog in jap sometym to let u taste ur own med? haha... wish to attend ur class soon :)

konbawa... blog filled wif cobwebs le... but tis post would not make much diff... just here to pour my tots on today... ps:those who dun lyk emo stuff... this post arent for you guys... please close tis window immediately...

today's filled with sadness n mixed feelins... it made me realise how much i cn miss some1... some1 i lost round 13 yrs back... some1 so dear to me although he existed less den a quarter of my life...

the feelin is undescribable n the pain is totali unbearable... tinkin back on the days where i would run to him, sa jiao-in my way tru just wantin him to carry me... he would always give in and gently place me on his lap... gently rocked me to slp... rmbred his words of wisdom and humourous gags which nvr fails to make me smile, rmbred when he lay in a place where all was white n pale... rmbred when he was gone... rmbred the day i cried and screamed lyk thr was no tmrw when i saw him lyin in that cold box... rmbred the day when tt box was taken away and place in the ground... rmbred the day when the las scoop of dirt was use to cover tt box which in turn officially marked the end of him in my life...

whoever said tt time would heal all pain is so damn freakin wrong... its been years and the pain is still thr... why must he leave so early? y must he be taken away? why cant he be here to see how im doin? how i wish he is stil around... even if he were to reprimand me for whatever rongs i did... i wouldnt mind... but now, i cn onli tink tt u will always be lookin out for me from the skies yea?

today's its his death anniversary... it made me tink alot... and life just seems so fragile to me... its as though some1 would just snap out of nowhere... death would just be within seconds... im afraid that ppl whom i realli treasure would suddenly vanish... leavin me behind, leavin me wif reali nth... i noe im selfish but im truly afraid as things just seemed so fragile... and the tot of undergoin such pain again reali scares me... i noe the crap bout this being part n parcel of life and wats not but i just cnt accept the fact of it...

i reali din realise... mayb i din wana admit tt i reali missed him... through years the feelins nvr did lessen but in turn grew much stronger... it haunted me since forever and ive been running away from it... today reality reali did slapped me in the face and i wana say that i really missed u... plz look out for me from above... and i'll always be thinkin of u from here...

I LOVE YOU, my dear grandfather... i always do...

konbachiwa~ today has been great!!! stress free just lil demoralised... the past week went by in a blur cos i was super slpy tru out sch... super restless n slpy de... muz stay focus!!! ytd wen to the ICA buildin to make passport cos expire le... super lot of ppl as though there was sales in thr... im not kidding... waited super long n got it done... quite cool neh the new scan ur thumb system... but was tinkin if sum1 were to hurt his or her thumb got scar how? well undeniable tt suay stuff happens... haha... but too suay le la... wouldnt happen... next is bout today...

met Vian at khatib at round 10.45... i was carryin the brooms n as usual ppl stared as though dey hadnt seen a broom b4... cnt stand dem... well i managed to find a glam way in holdin dem la... haha... after tt headed down to lavender to meet the HL CHL, ZY... XD LATE O!!! haha... tapped out of the mrt... but wanted to sit down so tapped in again n wen down to sit at the benches... den thr was tis person hu dresses lyk a mayor... keep starin... damnit i was totally tokin bout how irritatin he was in front of him n loudly... he super de lo... stare at me, stared back stil his eyes din budge... nt onli at me but at Vian too... shou bu liao so went another bench to sit... stupid mayor man... looks more lyk a fat mario lo... hmph... wen ZY arrived, went up n headed to the new PA... well every thing looks v modern... super bu xi guan de... studio is bigger den the last by two dance mat... ambience quite nice cos the room is blck... which made me n Vian v lazy n slpy... built in speakers so no more the speaker on the stand tingy... lightings on the ceiling... cool!!! means a performance cn b held thr neh... jus tt audience cnt accomodate alot... 1 ting tt is bad is no fu ba!!! so nt use to it de la... but overall its fine... duno wats gotten into me n Vian but we super cui de... cnt seem to get the flow... too SYF le la n lyrical became a super big ordeal for me... memory nt workin at all due to waking up earli? haha excuses... sry neh, kinda waste ur time... super cui... but i will nu li de!!! although i was super cui, but i reali enjoyed today... damn, sounds lyk PCA but im stating a fact... zhen de... cos its cool to dance due to passion n under no stress... no major competition, laoshi's qi wang, the duties of a senior and worrying over other ppls stuff... everything can b place aside n just focus in gettin the dance rite... though it wasnt reali rite la... but i reali enjoyed today... had lunch cum dinner wif Vian ZY n XY n headed hme... throughout the meal n the way hme lots were running tru my head... the most prominent 1 is i was recallin the steps... haha... bo bian was reali disappointed in myself today... and nxt was tt i was wonderin wen would the next lesson be? since im takin my O's tis yr... my parents started to restrict my moves... dancing became a tou tou mo mo tingy... so wen i reached hme i talked to my mum bout it... no exact answer from her wich sucked... dun lyk being stuck in the grey area... but i told her since im nt given an answer i shall take it as the answer i desire... dun care neh... well i have my reasons wich i tink are quite reasonable... i agree tt i have to study lyk crazy but every1 needs their form of relaxation to destress... well mine is tru dance n hence i shud learn to balance my hw n studies n fork out at least a day for dance rite? so i wonder wen will b the nxt lesson to continue bleeding love n the other three song... lookin forward to the nxt lesson wen i could dance carefree-ly just lyk today but in better condition... THX the HL, CHL de ZY!!! disappoint u today... I SHALL NOT SCREW AGAIN!!!

posting the lyrics of a song by by2... well nt reali a fan of dem though... my opinion... feel tt dey did improve... tis song is 我知道 another great song is "dont go away" soft n smooth... feel tt i cn totali relate to tis song... peeps hu knew bout it wud understand... brought back good n bad memories... but dey were sweet...

从来没想过
不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你
陪着我心痛

一切都是我太过骄纵
以为你会懂
一直忘了说
我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦
在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

cheesy... but true...

minna konichiwa~ haha cnt even use konbachiwa neh... cos im bloggin at 7.05 in the morning... cnt bliv it? cos i slept too early n wake up too early due to a sudden sneeze... stupid person cursin me rite in the morning... GTH la... HAHA!!! since ive nth to do ive decided to blog bout some recent happy stuff...

1st up... sports day... BLUE HOUSE CHAMPION!!! haha... from tis every1 cn tell tt im from blue house la... but yea im proud to be 1 as i lyk the colour haha... me nvr gong xian de as sports is totally not my forte... y have sports day no dance day de??? sianx... but nevertheless back to sportsday... woke up super early to meet Vian n LS go buy mac n tidbits... LS late -_- but nvm la... haha so me n Vian go buy tidbits 1st lo... after tt Ls cum le jiu go buy mac... lyk hlp alot ppl da bao ... nxt we headed to the stadium... as usual nth interest me at all... i was feelin all warm, sweaty without even running... tis yr blue house had to sit in the 2nd sector whr the scorching sun zhun zhun shone on us... o well maybe due to wat we suffered hence our luck became beta? haha utter nonsense... but anw ron-neh got run o... he quite li hai de neh... xia dao le... but i was more afraid tt he would be injured wen syf is roun the corner... fortunately din lo... xtine n jos oso got run... gave me the same heart attack man... stacia v cute lo... suay suay las min den noe she runnin... super nervous de... oya banner comp... yellow won... was super happy for dem la... haha i noe la... muz b tinkin y i so lyk pan tu rite... tts cos the 2 person in charge of the banner is lyk my gd frens... super bz but so suay tio ic... ke lian ... but dey did a great job n i was so proud tt i ran down to the tracks to congratx dem... i was down at the tracks for quite sum tym cheerin my fellow frens on regardless of house... HAHA oya 4gt to mention tt MR ANG SIANG KA came back as vip... he is the best!!! luv him... shouted ANG ANG CUTE CUTE wen he arrived la... haha... retarded but i missed him lots mah... saw him back at sch later tt day... as cute as ever!!! XD anw to sum up the day... BLUE HOUSE WON in my final year n we had to head back for SYF prac...

nxt, SYF... tt day was over in a blink of an eye... crazy but true... maybe cos no lessons? haha... morning had mac for bfast... my regular... thx tehchio n gang for hlpin me buy mac!!! haha XD next wen laoshi arrived... we practised for quite some tym... in ava n at sportshall... sportshall so many ppl la... but doesnt bother me... it did for sum though dunno y... after all stuff had lunch n started make up n such... n tt gave me tym to tink of stupid stuff lyk tis is my las shot be4 my leg would split into half n such... haha not exactly split into half la... just expression... cnt tink of suitable ones... tots of the las "Sha" "xie xie laoshi,laoshi zai jian" welled tears... but at the same tym tots of our efforts in those months would all pay off durin tt 6 min 21s changed my frown to a smile... so ironic lo... something lyk a love-hate relationship... im such an oxymoronic person... arh wateva... but anw next team n gang joined us... wen we reach ucc every1 start becumin nervous... well i duno its cos of i lao jiao or wat but not nervous at all bout my performance neh... if i were to say nervous de hua would be dan xin bout other ppl's stuff lyk wenqi de ta bu fan shen or wat lo... i shudnt b but yea i did worry for dem... i tot tt i would be nervous wen i stood backstage but nope... din happen... words lyk "last dance, last shot, enjoy, do laoshi proud, prove every1 rong, push my limits"ran tru my mind as i exit n laid on the floor... another ting tt ran tru my mind was wat poh kang had said earlier tt the judges looked lyk ghost... haha... two years back... i had no recollection of wateva happend... so tis tym im bound to mak it a clear memory... n yea wen i laid thr i stared hard at those judges... although affected by nite blindness but hey i cn stil c dem... n yea lyk ghost... den i was lyk tryin to control my laughter... PK... i got tink of u durin my SYF neh... haha... wen the music played the only ting on my mind was focus n enjoy... i did... n exit feelin tt ive did my best n 发挥了应有的实力... wen i walk out... i den realise tt got ppl drop their gun n even got ppl nvr chu chang neh... who i shall not mention but yea hope u learn from ur lesson la... cos if i were to comment i wud say... no matter how much excuses u cum up wif... be it tru or false u are stil 1 aspect of it... rather den blamin on stuff tt "hai" u, y nt tink of y u din tot of ways to overcome it? hence the prob lies in oneself as usual... or maybe i would just comment "i told u so" haha cos its reali the expected... but hope u learn from it la... den wen i saw mdm yeo n next team, dey all say v gd lo... i swear i was on cloud9 but dropped back down to planet earth the moment i saw laoshi's disappointed expression... i guess on the whole we did disappoint him ba... or maybe he had seen a beta us n tot tis wasnt our 应有的实力... took some fotos as usual n head back... b4 headin back called out to laoshi to thank him... he hugged me n said a few stuff... was totali on the verge of tears la... Vian bet tt if i cry i would have to treat her to a meal... i nvr brin enuf money for both lo so i had to control... haha... im a master of tears control!!! thanked connie n mei man laoshi n board the bus... headed back to cchy n the bus ride was full of laughter n nonsense... next team la!!! haha... back at school... mdm yeo gave lil speech n every1 started to noe bout my bet wif vian... actually i din reali say yes to her, was a silent means consent tingy... o well... so wen every1 knew... dey started to try to make me cry... sum were already cryin but wat made dem mean was tt dey call me n cried into my face... sum stil say sum real sad stuff la... den i was lyk 不要跟我讲话la... haha... managed to control... settle stuff n headed to BH for dinner cum lunch...

on thursday... stayed back as the farquars [name of juniors clique, i duno y] prepared sumtin special for us... surprise so i duno wat is it... actuali cn go hme at 1.30 de lo... but aiya gave dem face la... sum annoyin tings happend so shant tok bout it... at the LT the farquars handed out certs to all seniors... mine is the 最yamapi fans award... haha... one of a kind de ...the cert was reali well done just tt spell rong my name le la wenqi!!! haha sum senior de oso spell rong... behind the cert was sum lil testimonials written by dem... was on the verge of tears la but their spelling errors kept my smile going... and oso have a pic of dem... was realli touched by it as i noe dey fang alot xin into it... love it lots n love u guys even more lots!!! as questioned in the testimonials... i wun 4gt u guys de la... even though i got lil senile but nt tt yan zhong can!!! haha after tt mdm yeo came in... knowin the results le... 1st as usual started wif the speech... eyes filled wif tears again... Vian oso lo... tis tym i bet wif her if she cry muz treat me... haha... so she was lyk control... stil copy my method of controllin... so ppl around us muz b wonderin y both of us kip starin at the ceiling... haha... mdm yeo was lyk i noe if i told u guys its a silver.. the seniors wud b sad as thr isnt any improvement... but if i tell u guys is gold... im afraid u guys will grow complacent... so how? stupid lo... made us tink its silver den later say til lyk gold... in the end stil have to wait for ms khaw to cum back from ucc... stil promise to sms me de hor... stupid neh... oya mdm yeo ask if she said its a silver wil we seniors be v upset... omegoong said no... u dun crap la... PCA!!! haha... i immediately said yes lo... well its the fact wat... i realy v zai yi ok... those hu say u bu zai yi lyk omegoong... totaly PCA!!! miss khaw was back and many peeps by then already cryin le... i stil holdin back my tears... den cher was lyk the word v long neh duno how to spell... shayna was lyk " i dun wan the 6 letter de... wan 4 letter de la... easier to spell..." den i was tinkin gold with honours leh? n she countered " long 1 oso can la but i wan the more den 6 letters de hor..." haha she was lyk yi bian ku yi bian jiang la... all seniors were hand in hand anticipatin for the results... cher was lyk "G..." every1 screamed our heads off my tears literally pen chu lai lo... no kiddin... n Vian... haha rmbr my meal hor... we were cryin lyk thrs no tmrw... "O...L....D........W" when i heard tt W i was lyk "wait.......... zen me ke neng" so thr was sudd tis silence... den "I...." n we screamed again... n of cos the cryin was worst den b4... after the "I" i practically cnt hear anitin... too much screamin n cryin... called laoshi to thank him... i guess over at his side he would be lyk aiyo y cry til lyk kill pig lyk tt... haha... n called PK... every1 was so emotional la... Yi xia stil wana take pic wif me.... so ugly neh... received lots of hugs from peeps ...i cried lyk shit neh!!! 1st is touched 2nd is cos we clinged gwh 3rd is tt im worried bout my juniors... maintainin gwh is alot of wrk... n dey are stil young, shit i soun lyk an old lady, but wat i meant is cos we alternate batch... dey would have to deal with alot... n their juniors is totally lyk wen dey 1st came in de lo... cnt rmbr how we ren dem... haha... so i was startin to tink if gettin gwh is a gd ting or a bad ting... hence cried even more... but nevertheless i conclude tt

SYF 2009 INTERNATIONAL DANCE CLINGED A GOLD WITH HONOURS!!!

its the 1st tym cchy got gwh for any cca o... so happy... tis is oso to prove all ppl who tot we are junks n nth but monkeys on stage rong... u assholes beta keep ur mouth shut ... i bet u guys wil all be in shock rite... so stop all ur gossipin... although u guys from branded sch so wat? dosen giv u a rite to tok behind our backs... n wif such gossipin skills... its totally disgraceful... cos u noe what? i heard it from miles away!!! bleh!!! so stop all the pretense nxt tym wen u c me... ASS!!!

would oso wana thank
LIU LAOSHI! ur guidance made us grew stronger n more mature... CCHY ID luv u!!!

MDM YEO! thx for believin in us, givin us support...

MS KHAW! thx for pei-ing us tru many outside de performance... xin ku le :) muz teach me ballet la dun care...

MEI MAN LAOSHI! thx for givin us those lil tips to improve ourselves...

世斌 haha and KEELUI! thx for spendin ur fridays wif us... although sumtyms i noe u guys wil pekcek but haha we did it!!! n thx for the coachin in maths n sci... haha... best of luck in army!!!

NEXT TEAM! thx for bein thr for us to lighten our mood n to give us support... got hear ur cheers o!!! XD

SCHOOLS TT WISHED US THE BEST OF LUCK N MY DEAR FRENS WHO WISH ME THE BEST OF LUCK! i luv u guys... u guys gave me the courage n perserverence...

LAST OF ALL... MY FELLOW DANCE PEEPS!!! thanks every1 for puttin in the effort in tis... our saturday mornings... injuries... litres of sweat n lots of yoko yoko paid off!!! XD

ps: if i missed out any stuff pls tell me... not in a clear mind early morning

as for today... im goin to visit laoshi n next team!!! haha

sry for the long n wordy post... pics wil b uploaded soon... :)