Hey peeps! Here to blog properly~ yes i noe... like finally right? well i've been procrastinating cos there's just too much to say and i cnt really find the right time to sit down and just type... but well i've been reminded that the snow ball will just keep getting bigger and bigger thus i better get on with blogging before i lose drive to continue... make sense? lolx who cares... so anw im having my lovely holidays right now~ keke^^ well then why no time to even blog right? recently i've been busy with meeting up and catching up with my friends, family, relatives and some random unrelated "aunties" and "uncles" and blah blahs... keke^^ as usual there's dance too... and unfortunately my grandmother and uncle has been admitted into the hospital for various reasons at different timings... which meant i had more family stuff to settle as well as more visiting to do... and that's basically what i've been doing since i have my holidays... before i elaborate on that i would like to conclude my entire foundation year...
foundation year has been the most hectic school year i've ever had... and one of the most insecure year ever! the scary thing is that i know if i were to continue on the path i want, each year will only get tougher... intimidating but no one ever said fulfilling dreams are easy right? and insecure since it's relating to something important and that i really care about, im afraid to lose it... becos of this, it's like i don't even dare to blink fearing the next split sec it'll be gone... school years has always been a breeze to me as i dun give a damn bout it... i never believed in working hard on something that i don't like and doing it just becos i was told to or have to... so long as pass, graduate, make the cut for whatever i want, im good... and it's actually kinda cool to gauge how much i shud put in to JUST make the cut :p i work smart and have fun at the same time... keke^^ but being in Lasalle's just different... it brings out the workaholic in me :p and people who manage to catch me when im schooling should know that i really immerse myself in work at all times... i basically drown in them HAHA!
at times it's really hard becos in foundation, we have to do every single shit... even if it isnt related to fields that i wanna specialize in... most hated would be 3D!!! staying up doing sculptures are ridiculous... the worst has got to be the wire hand shit... i lose so much blood for that... cos i always prick myself with the bloody wire... the ones that i like are workshops!!! keke^^ maybe im a masochist? workshops are prolly the most hated among everyone cos we're given 5 weeks to learn an entirely new skill... like clay modelling, google sketchup, imovie, photography, photoshop, illustrator blah blah... and we're expected to produce a professional end product for it... it's a very compact and rushed process hence the stress level is also at it's max... and since we have other subjects on hand i tend to leave it to the last min... 1st reason being when stressed out to the max, my ideas and inspirations will be the best! HAHA! it's crazy but luckily i work well under stress :p 2nd reason being if i finish it too early, i won't be satisfied with it cos a project is never ending... ideas and inspiration never ends... there's always room for improvement... so if there's more time, i'll keep working on it which in turn defeats the original gist of the idea i possess... so normally my products are produce in just a day before assessment :p yes im an ass... im a bigger ass cos i always come up with over ambitious ideas... and im too stubborn to settle for something lesser :p being creative's a bitch at times... sometimes it backfires cos given the limited time i wun be able to finish... but most of the time, i'll manage to churn it out somehow :p and the sense of satisfactory when u see the lecturers' shocked face is just priceless!!! WAHAHA!!! so anw i've always excel in workshops though i always get my health in crap state after it... but i guess it's worthwhile :p i heard because it has always been feed-backed to the school that workshops are too compact and rushed and thus from the next batch onwards foundation will be 2 years so as to prolong the workshops... which means im the last batch of "single year foundation" which also means if i fail... i'll end up doing 3 years of foundation... which in fact could get me a diploma in that amount of time... known that since last year... the thought of it never fails to stress me out...
even though foundation year has it's up and alot of downs... im kinda thankful i opt to go for it instead of plunging head first into specialization... cos throughout, we've been thrown problems with no clues neither solutions but by hook or by crook we're suppose to churn something out at the end of the day... i gained alot on problem solving... gained more independence and confidence... cos right now, i know that when various crap is thrown towards me, i can embrace it and solve it... as in not only fashion related topics... example if i work for mcqueen, and my boss ask me to churn out a film on the upcoming season to be screened during one of the runway shows... im able to do it and worst come to worst... i can do it on my own... another reason as to why im thankful is that it opened my mind to various new interests... which cos a slight change in my specialism... i picked up various hobbies along the way as well as discover various hidden talents i fail to awaken before... overall, though it was tough... it was a time well spent and worth spending...
now onto specialism project... the entire theme is upcycling and we were given many task to fulfill... i believed i blogged bout it before... so anw... i finished every single shit on my project brief for the first time!!! lolx!!! yes it took up lots of sleepless nights... the biggest highlight was that my over ambitious idea for my final outfit was brought to life ^^ at first i wanted to do a unisex piece... using ways of connecting to differentiate gender... but since someone else wanted to do unisex too... i just cant bring myself to be the same as another :p i branched out and in the end settled for doing a versatile outfit... the mood is one that's dramatic, mysterious, chic yet possess femininity... there were many technicalities to put into consideration... methods of fabric manipulation, art direction, artist reference [donna karen], elements of design, silhouettes, current trends in sg as well as overseas, many others yet all gel'd back to the theme... besides all that, i have my own expectations as well... a major one being shock factor which contributes to the dramatic effect... placing my bets on unforeseen outcomes... as well as considering how it should be presented on a runway... yes all those thought process right before any drawings or hands on experiment! im thankful that my brain works wonders! keke^^
so anw i guess instead of harping on theories... i should just show u guys the pics instead eh? well im my own model... cos i was to lazy to find one and i cant really accommodate another's timings... and for convenient sake like measurements, styling and what not... it's always best to be your own model and work with youself right? cos i can always work OT for myself... HAHA! so yea... i'll be putting up a few... pardon my face... and just focus on the outfit a'ight? :p
i swear blogger kills colour!!! whatever it is im gonna upload more onto fb... so yea... basically it's a versatile outfit... that's interchangeable to suit formal and informal occasions just by 1 single tug... no need to head home to change if you're out shopping in town and suddenly remember there's a formal event to attend at night... why settle for one when you can have the best of both worlds right? oh yea! my presentation title is two is better than one ^^ just so happens i was listening to the song while doing my presentation... just nice HAHA!
for the fashion photog i guess im satisfied given no resources... borrowed cam... no lightings... no settings... self styling... no artistic direction... no model [well it's me but yea]... what else? aiya just no nothing la... and with nothing... im satisfied with the outcome? just FYI for anyone that is curious on the makeup... this is what i had on... yes! even makeup has been taken into consideration a'ight?!?
kpop fanatics would be able to tell that it's BoA in one of her music video scenes for GAME...
well it's not really visible in the pictures... duh! cos i didnt close up on the eyes... but yea it was more for the runway show... which turned out to be thaBOMB!!! keke^^ me being me loves taking responsible risks... meaning risks that im confident in succeeding~ pulled quite a show and stealed the limelight from two people, the one in front and the one behind... kinda guilty... but hey! it's a dog eat dog world! especially the fashion industry...
my mum always says "you either be the bitch or the fool" lolx yes u read it right... my mum's telling me to be the bitch HAHAHA!!! XD that's how my mum is... she never tells her lil girl to believe in fairytales... she never let me believe in happily ever after... oh! she did let me believe in Santa tho! til i caught her creeping into my room trying to hide my xmas present... and i still accused her of trying to steal my present... then she told me the ugly truth! boohoo... i still wanna believe in Santa!!! HAHA!!! kkaes back to the topic... so anw the runway was fun! and my lecturer was just too cute... he's a young dad and he's super naggy... when i came out done changing he was like "OMG it's very short!!! you got wear safety shorts anot?!? very short leh!!!" lolx overprotective much... of cos i had safety precautions! i guess that's the good thing bout being a performer... you foresee problems that might arise in front of live audiences...
OH! i created the quote of that day... my fren was toking bout a wardrobe malfunction... alot of what ifs here and there... kinda irritatin watching her worry so much... so i told her "the answer to all wardrobe malfunctions is nice lingerie!" HAHA that shut her up alright... and i gained lots of high5s... i mean seriously, what cn u do if there's a wardrobe malfunction when you're on the runway? be professional and hope u din wear some granny undies la! but of cos im confident on my workmanship and i even wore it home... the short ver. DUH! cos i was too lazy to queue and squeeze into the toilet just to change... i was so tired that all i wanted was to get home asap... oh right! when i was doing the fashion photog around SG, couple of ppl i met asked me where i got my clothes... and when i told them i made it, it's my design... their eyes are like O.O and their jaws like dropped wide open... WAHAHA!!! mad happy!!! and the trick to public shooting is just to be thick skin... heck those stares you get from passing peeps and never be afraid to be caught in a weird position *lyk lying on the floor or walking against the direction on a travelator*... so yup tt marks the end of specialism... as for final assessment... all i can say is that im very confident ^^
so after assessment, i didnt had a day rest for 2 wks!!! meeting peeps every single day... it sucks that my relatives tries to hook me up with ppl whenever im free... maybe i shudnt tell my mum whenever im having my holidays cos she just announces it to the whole world and i'll get really shitty appointments... maybe it's also my fault that elderly favors me :p but even so it doesnt mean that i'll get together with your son or grandson!!! i thought im already like used to all these nonsense but it just gets even more ridiculous as years goes by... cos even if the guy turns out to be mr perfect i still wouldnt date him... why would i pull a suicidal move by dating someone who holds the strings to my family's social network? marriage is not between two ppl... it's between two families... that is something that cant be helped and one shud just embrace it... but a relationship through such methods is also one that consists of not just the two protagonist but the two families as well as the entire social network which i call hi bye acquaintances who's gonna appear more often and seem more "concern" when things turn sour... hoping they'll chance upon an opportunity to pounce on you and snap your head off... that's how scary it seems to me... and it's absolutely frustrating if the guy makes the cut... but whatever it is... i stick to my rules...
since we're on this topic i'll just mention an asshole that i met back in 2010, before i started school... things were goin on fine... and i actually had fun spending time with him and had even thought that it was possible that i'll date him ever since he ask me to give him a chance as he took a liking towards me and that i shud try to get to know him before making decisions... which was kinda fast on his side... thinking back... it was ridiculous -_- so anw when school started... i hadnt had the time to hang out with him and we drifted apart...well it isnt just his fault... it's more of mine but i was thinking that if we'll drift off just becos we dun hang out that often then we werent meant to be with each other in the first place... well reason being im a workaholic... so yea my feelings for him just kinda died since it wasnt deep to start with :p
after my first sem... and after AHA2010 when i was still having my holidays i started catching up with frens which includes him... all was fun, just like before i entered school... few weeks after sem2 resumes... that asshole asked me out for dinner and during dinner... he suggested that we should have an open relationship... MEANING, when im having my holidays... we'll be dating and that i HAVE TO spend time with him... and when my school resumes... we are entitled to date any other peeps we want... his reason being that he is too attracted to me and loves my company... something that couldnt compare to the other girls he came across... but yet days when im busy... he really couldnt stand being alone... and so he came up with the self claimed "perfect" plan... i was like sha yan!!! seriously? like who the !@#$%^%$#@ are you to even think that you can propose this shit to me... where did all the confidence come from man? and what makes you think i'll agree? you arent all that irresistable ya know?!? as if you're the only male left on earth... up for grabs on the shelves... can't believe there's like such a person, bu yao lian to this extent... and hence i scoffed and immediately asked him to take me home... and i haven even ate! mad hungry!!! but whatever... i cant spend like another second with him... sent me home... tried apologizing yet dont know what he did wrong.. he's like "hey i know you're mad right now bout whatever ive said wrong, im sorry a'ight? but maybe you're just too sensitive or u took it the wrong way? cos it's actually a compliment!" i just remained silent... and he carried on "whatever it is im sorry a'ight" LESSON1 to all guys reading... DONT APOLOGISE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG!!! cos what's the point? "sorry" aint some magic work to put the smile back on a girl's face ya know? when i still didnt speak he went on "hey i really don't know why you're mad, what did i say? tell me and then i'll understand" LESSON2! are you seriously @#$%^&$# kidding me? YOU'RE asking ME what YOU said?!? now what am i? someone who keeps track of words of a retard who doesnt think before he speaks? a personal assistant who gives reminders? and in the end he was like "fine, be that way, stay quiet..." oh hell yea i did... and i straight away delete him off my phone the second i got outta his car...
so i thought that's the end but no... days after he tried calling and texting me... didnt re of cos... then it died down... heard from fren that he took shelter from other girls like what he always do when im schooling... not that im bothered by it... what bothers me is this... after my final assessment, which was recent.. he tried to get back to me again... wow! he sure doesnt give up... and of cos i stayed silent... cos evidently that's even more torturous than yelling at someone who's pathetically falling head over heels.. but what pissed me off was the text he sent me when he got frustrated... cant really rmbr his exact words cos i deleted them str8 away... something like "who are you, a mere 18 year old, to dare make me feel this way? who are you to end things between us without getting my consent? who are you to make me feel so bad and make things hard for me?" well this is the gist of whatever shit he sent me... and seriously it pissed me off big time... first and foremost... it's YOU! a working ADULT who falls head over heels for a MERE 18YEAR OLD... no actually it was 17 in 2010... secondly... WHO SAID THAT THERE WERE ANYTHING BETWEEN US?!? stop hallucinating... thirdly... I DO NOT NEED ANYONE'S CONSENT FOR ANYTHING! Lastly, SCREW YOU! GET OVER YOURSELF!!! it's to the extent where i feel that he's damn pathetic... trying to sound all mighty and attempted to control me... but unfortunately, it just shows weakness... cos from his words... a mere 18 year old could break him neh... make things difficult for him neh... cn make him so desperate... lolx im so proud of myself... *pats on the head* so till today im still sticking with the silent treatment... cos it proves to be torturous... i hope that he'll just move on cos im like really sick of reading his crap to the extent that i turn to enjoy it since it boosts my ego... HAHA! well lesson learnt is that older man might not always turn out to be mature and smart... rich, stupid and egoistic man are still around... beware! oh! he's in business... so yea... normally they're very egoistic... just my piece of advice to girls reading my blog... and i think for me, it's still best to stick with dancers and caucasians :p
LS says those doesnt matter... it's becos it's an older guy... but i've never had any probs bout dating older guys arh... no matter how i try to convince her, she's still bend on it saying "u shudnt keep going for older guys la..." and i was like "are you saying that i shud date younger guys?" and she replied "no... just not so old..." lolx!!! don't be ridiculous it's not THAT OLD! like some old uncle who has a leg already in a coffin or something... still 20 plus, got "so old" meh? then i was telling her bout how my couz is married to a guy that's 12 years older than her... and LS was like disgusted... HAHA!!! then she started jumping to random conclusions and say " you better not go for the who who who" i wanted to shut her up but failed by saying " do i look like im falling for him? huh?" she owned by replying "you don't look like anything" -_- lolx! thx arh... u win... u win... but well she's damn bias de la... cos just today she's tryin to intro me to this new cheerleading coach of her's -_- obviously a guy older than us... coach... DUH! and i was like "where did your rule bout me dating older man go to?" she claims that it's diff -_- whatever la kkaes? ridiculous... HAHA!
talked alot with LS today!!! and as usual our convers are epic! i shall carry on with my blog post let's say tmrw? i will i will... there's just too much to share in this one month and now im getting like super sleepy... going to bed... so look out for the continuation of this post a'ight? nitex peeps!
xoxo
ps to Santa: Dear Santa, i've been a good girl, a lil evil mouthed but still an honest good girl... please do not send assholes to me anymore... i'll be thankful :p
