Sweeties to start the year 2012!

Hey yall~ This being my first post of 2012 shall be a happy one! one without negativity... i've been putting blogging off for awhile just cos there were so many negativity going on... and just when i wanted to upload a video for you guys yesterday... shit happened and i din even wanna blog bout it cos it would prolly be filled with a whole lot of profanities and... well just a whole lotta crap... negativity is totally and understatement... but anw... i wanna put that aside for now... im still feelin really down and emotional but school's starting tmrw... hence i shall put a blog post up and disappear for the next 6 mnths?!? HAHA!!! nah... dun think it'll be that bad~ i shall put something up even if it's like a line or 2... HAHA! i really wanna start my photo bloggin... but it's really weird cos i will upload them onto fb too... and prolly tumblr... so shud i upload it onto this blog? hmmm.... alotta work neh... and im lazy... if uploading takes like a min or 2... i wouldnt mind... but it takes friggin long!!! we'll see...

so anw, holiday's ending... and it's been really fruitful... done with AHA and worked... AHA will be a separate blog post... no promises on when tho... shall talk bout work then... Bradley hooked me up with a couple of projects... and a couple, meaning photoshoot as a whole... moving editorials as a whole... i did a whole lotta photoshoot by various designers, concept shoots for Bradley's artistic vents... as well as his friends'... 3 diff fashion moving editorials as well as 2 concept videos... it was alot of work in a short amnt of time... but unlike other times... i got to work with alot of new peeps ^^ new friends of Bradley's, videographers... stylist... art directors... models... and my peeps Clo and my dancers ^^ it was so much fun... it's intimidating cos i've never really done videos before... and moving images cnt be edited per frame picture... so everything nt only has to look right, it has to look amazing!

so prep work for all these... Bradley and my stylist, make up artists came to my house one day bringing all their barang... making me try this that... testing my hair color to get the extensions to my color... products... measurements and whole lotta other thing... Bradley and my makeup artist were complaining cos i have visible dance bruises -_- their naggings are the worst!!! crazy nagging... then my stylist started complainin cos i seemingly lost weight and my waist or maybe my butt shrunk... the bottoms i tried on were all too loose... well i cnt really help losing weight after getting sick before, puking day and night... oh! this was also a prob when i had to wear the white pants that i bought for dance... it was friggin too loose... i had to wear a belt... and! even on the 1st hole of the belt it's still loose -_- but at least it doesnt drop when i dance, but i bet if someone were to pull on my pants, it's gonna drop for sure -_- haixx and recently ppl who touched my hands... ok tt sounds kinda weird... but yea, when they do... they ask if i lost weight... cos my hands had more flesh before-_- seriously look at my face for instance, if i had lost any weight, why is my baby fats still sticking around?!? friggin irritated! screw baby fats! so that was a really busy morning trying out the things at my house... and when i was bout to head to dance prac... my makeup artist was like "you're nt gonna wear any makeup?!? nt even doing your hair?!?" and forced to curl my hair -_- why should i bother if im just gonna mess it up at dance later -_- but yea im glad she's always thr to make me look better ^^ keke i love you~

after AHA, i literally din sleep at all cos i had to head out to hair and makeup super early... that of cos pissed Bradley off, and the bruises and marks on me of cos made it much worst... i cnt help it yo~ and oh! i broke my nail at dance and it was a friggin visible open wound... so to conceal it... they had to put fake nails on mine... for those of u who dunno how to put on fake nails... u literally use a nail glue that's totally like elephant glue and stick it on... since even if they paint my nails, which normally they do and change the color and design for diff shoots, it wouldnt conceal my wound, fake nails were used... and it FRIGGIN $%^&*&^%$#@$ HURTS!!! OMG i cnt even emphasize this... u guys shud try putting nail glue or nail polish remover on a fresh wound... lolx im kidding... dun do that... friggin pain! and the sucky thing after the first stickin it on is knowing i have to remove it with remover *PAIN* stick another pair on for another shoot *PAIN* and repeat it all over again for all the shoots!!! *PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN**PAIN* haixx... what to do.... at least im earning good money :p and fortunately there wasnt an infection after... similarly i think there were prolly more concealer on my body then my face to conceal the dance bruises and marks on me... and that's totally scary considering my skin condition at that pt of time was really bad... breaking out due to the huge amnt of stress i was experiencing at that period... and oh another thing... i lost more weight than the last time i met them -_- some already altered clothings were still kinda loose :p but other than these... all went pretty smoothly...

working with professional male models are a first... i tot that it would be fun and gonna be like candy for the eyes... but! it's one thing to be working with hot male models, and another when they're hitting on you every friggin second of the day! even when i say that im attached, it still doesnt seem to stop them -_- friggin irritatin!!! and no im nt attach as off now... just to clear this up... so yea! candy for the eyes but irritatin... the only plus pt i guess is that they were friggin funny... this is prolly an old joke, but i totally cracked up when i heard them saying "What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone. A bitch sleeps with everyone BUT U!!!" PUAHAHA but after i laughed so hard... it becomes a competition between the male models to make me laugh -_- they try so hard... i din lead them on! i swear... cos when they ask for my number... even if i had my phone in my hand... i answered that i dun have a phone... HAHA that shud be pretty clear... working with them was cool... cos they are professionals... friggin tall... i had to stand on something when i was doing a upper body shot so that i look taller -_- as for photoshoots with them... no standing up straight... and of cos i had to work all my "look taller scamming" poses... HAHAHA learnt quite alot whether if it's technical or just bout the industry from them... their lifestyle is totally screwed up tho... keep asking me out for drinks every single night after work -_- don't they ever rest -_-

working with Clo and my peeps has been a blast! well the genre's my forte... but try dancing for hours in heels! nightmare! good things with working with all my friends is firstly how i cn control the time... the shoot can be stretched for a longer period but cos im reluctant to work in the last week of hols and that i wanna attend the DI potluck... they had to work extra hard and fast to accommodate my schedule *but at least they made it back to m'sia for the new year countdown :p*... and also how they're open to suggestions and that i get a huge amnt of freedom to try out my ideas... the most memorable has gotta be the last day of work... worked from 4pm on fri till 3pm the next day... and head straight to DI's potluck... and i danced throughout the night... why was it memorable wasnt cos of the long hours... i did hours longer but it's cos! i was dancing so hard and all that was shot were my shadow and silhouette!!! apparently we've got all the shots of me dancing... but to emphasize more on movement of clothes and nt on me... this had to be added into it... it was pretty cool on how they shoot my silhouette but still keep the backdrop litted... rotating lights and err... lolx hard to explain... at first, me being a lazy bum wasnt v into it when i dance... cos HELLO they friggin just shooting my shadow and silhouette why should i wear expression on my face right? but apparently, i was told when i really get into it including expression and everything... it looks diff and that ppl will feel it through the shadows... sounds alot of bull? well i was proven wrong... cos i really did went to check playback and compared... pretty cool lesson learnt... so i guess that's it... im just explainin vaguely cos if i were to include every friggin detail... this would nt end... OH! i bet i grew fat again.. cos everyone was stuffin me with food throughout work... ppl would buy several meals... we ate at odd hours... mostly mac cos it's 24hrs... ppl bringing in desserts when they visit... YUMMY! keke^^ so no worries peeps... im prolly back to my usual size... HAHAHA!

speaking of desserts! some of u prolly would noe my fav dessert place of all times is Lenas... BUT!!! im so disappointed with it!!! i think they change their chef... i use to love love love their tiramisu, but it just taste like coffee cake right nw... CHEAP coffee cake! and how cn they exclude the signature mint tea from the special dessert set thingy?!? URGH!!! but i went back a couple of times hoping that things would be diff but so far nope... haixx... went there with my mum recently... and she seemed to be enjoying a new dessert on the menu... watch~

kekeke^^ that's my mum! let me know if u guys enjoy clips like that :p i enjoy making them and filming them... and it's fun looking back on it^^ so now that Lena's kinda low in my list, guess i gotta find a new dessert place!!! RECOMMEND if you have any! i'll do one right now... which i prolly would regret doing so if you guys started flooding that place :p my fav ice cream place in town... PLUCK located at Haji Lane... it has really nice gelato icecreams, cakes, and beverages ^^ most imptly... i guess some of you should noe that im very ambience and environment driven... the place is really nice... and on weekdays, it's a nice chill out place cos it's quiet ^^ my last visit to pluck was some time ago with Sunny... i shall upload the pictures since im in the mood to do a good first blog post of 2012 ^^ here are the pictures~

i hope you guys enjoyed this blog post! i won't do a "new year's" resolution thingy cos i think that resolutions shouldnt just happen on new year's day but all year round... my current resolution, also my resolution for last year, would be to be more initiative and to show more appreciation towards my friends^^ im not bull-ing just cos u guys would be reading... i really meant it cos i have really great friends and without them i wouldnt be able to pull through rough times... so pardon my lack of initiation... that's just me... but im working on that ^^ another is to not look back on stuff and start on the whole regret vibe or thinking bout "what ifs"... one thing im really proud of myself in the last year is to learn how to walk away... shall blog bout that another time... long story... so yea learnt to walk away and with that, i should learn not to look back on it... cos while walking away hurts... looking back on it hurts even more... third thing on my list is to drill this message in my head "the calm before the storm is merely a mirage" so V, do not! put down your walls just cos all seems fine for now... it wouldnt last... As for wishes... i wish everyone close to me would be happy and healthy always... i know this is getting old, cos that's what i always say... but that's the most impt to me... i know best... trust me... so yup to end this off... shall i put up Sunny's resolutions as well?!? HAHAHA!!! just so you know, i din snatch her journal or watever... she mms-ed me these... and this is the sequence as well... here goes~

LOLX!!! a typical Sunny message! cos i was like "awww~" when i read the first half of the message... all smitten and sweeten but THEN, in comes urge to strangle her! HAHAHA im kidding... that's why i love her! after a while, i then noticed the number 2... so i texted back "Why am i number 2?!? Number 1 is what?!?" HAHAHA and look what she replieddance studio that is... for ppl who dun get it... and i replied "ok can i allow" cos well we've both been really busy... we use to meet so frequently but the last time i saw her wasnt even counted cos i bumped into her at H&M... it was like a Hi Bye thingy... and then the 2nd last time was AHA which was 17 Dec -_- can u believe that?!? in my holiday neh... nt to mention when school starts... which is... oh! today! * yea i blogged from the 7thdec to 8th dec HAHAHA* so after i text her, she replied "even if you don't, i already write liao! HAHAHA" -_- i'll cancel it out when i get my hands on your journal if i disapprove!!! XD then in comes another mms awhile after...-_- speechless... well on the bright side... as least she has some 自知之明 which is already a HUGE IMPROVEMENT from last year!!! PUAHAHA

After running into her at H&M she mms me later in the night...

:') my exact sentiments! Sunny I love you~ ♥*\(^.^)/*♥

ok~ it's like 1.30 am right now... i should go to bed... napping in lecture tmrw on the first day of sch is prolly a really bad way to start off 2012... nitex peeps~

xoxo

ps: edited the skin for large picture viewing pleasure... and now it's 4.45am -_- woes of a perfectionist... can't stop unless all's perfect... -_- shall head to bed now~

drinking right on the night when i shud be free of all my woes... yet i have trouble sleeping... -_- after so many days of sleepless nights... yearning for sleep and all... what's this now?!? i think it's the quick nap in the afternoon right after my submission... not cos i slept, but cos i was scared awake by sweet dreams... for one with a bad memory, im surprised by how i could remember every explicit details of stuff from 3 to 5 years back... who would've known then that happy times would come back to haunt you in the future... close to 4 years... it should stop... frustrated and tired...

afraid to go back to sleep not cos of a nightmare but fearing i'll get sweet dreams instead... pfft... it's ridiculous... im ridiculous... a ridiculous idiot who can't get drunk... that's the most pathetic thing for a supposed lightweight... sucks to be me... maybe i do have a much greater body mass than i think -_- or maybe i should do it in another way and get some redbull mixed with cough syrup in my system... funny how i refused to do that when i was struggling with work day and night yet now thinking bout doing just that when i have absolutely nothing i should be staying awake for... -_-

pardon my sudden crap... i'll blog in normal form soon...

Hey... random time to blog... im busy as hell... sick... stress... and just plain upset... here to rant... just woke up from my sleep... im on 2 days mc as of yesterday and im nt schoolin tmrw... well if i am, the doc would hv given me 3days to last me the whole week...

so yup, that means that i only went to school on tues, and well i went to the last class on wed after the doc's despite having an mc for it... cnt miss that... was having super bad cramps on tues... worst in ages... im totally proud of myself for surviving the whole of tuesday despite many prompts by lecturers to head home... guess it's cos i totally paled out and looked like im from twilight, just without the sparkles... then the embarrassing part came... i fainted when i got home... i totally reached home, open the door of my room, put down my bag and BAM! out i go like a light.. kinda hit my head real hard and there was like a bump on wed... -_- feel so stupid, the bed was so near goddamnit... it's been years since i pass out due to the cramps... pathetic much... parents freaked out... fortunately they manage to get me awake before deciding if i needed the ambulance... of cos me being me insisted that i was fine... how i manage to persuade them was beyond me... cos duh~ of cos i wasnt fine i just passed the !@#$%^$ out... lolx so yup, my pathetic ending to tuesday... wed and thurs passed in a blur... mixture of pain sleep and work... im kinda behind on some work cos i've been resting... haixx stress...

the stress is so intense that i seriously just wan a life remote with a pause button, better yet, a stop button... no im nt suicidal, dun worry... i just havent find the reason to press play willingly... and the fact that deadlines are lying everywhere in the next 3 weeks aint hlping at all... i woke up just half and hour ago and went into the living room to sit with my dad... he kept asking me to go back to sleep, and said that i shouldnt work so hard.. -_- yes my dad really did say that... he said he'd seen me work like crazy and warned me bout ageing too fast cos i was working myself out... as in appearance wise -_- out of everything, he cared more bout my outer appearance... lolx... seriously daddy? i think the pressing matter should be health instead, no? and besides, i've already aged past what i am on the inside, does it matter if i do on the outside? lolx... so anw i just shrug it off and urge him to go to bed... leaving myself to sit with my dog in the living room, having my own emo moment before i come in to blog... that's my life for the past week... lolx sad eh?

autumn... the time when all upsetting thoughts come streaming back... it sucks... it's like i dun even have a choice... only time when im not is when im working and dancing... lolx now i sound stupid like some emo person resorting to working themselves out to relief pain... dun worry, im good...

humans are always bent on getting something that they can never achieve... what's even more heart wrenching is that it was so close, i was given a choice, and i made a stupid decision... despite the still ever ongoing torturous and agonizing after effect, i dun regret it... more like i can't regret it... Clo always say that i've had life experience backwards... things that i shouldnt have come across at my age... and i always jokingly countered back by saying "at least i din get knocked up or something, that would then really be living it backwards..." and she'll always give me the death glare... HAHA... well i was just pulling her leg, and of cos i get her, cos everythings at a wrong timeframe... but at least my choice set things straight... and well through that, it kinda set my life straight... nt that it is damn straight now... just much straighter then what it used to be when i was going through a rebellious stage... HAH! toking as if i aint now... let's just imagine, i was much worst before... much worst... and it came damn early for me :p im a mess... i think i've said this countless times in my blog... i aint proud of the choices i made when i was at a much stupid naive and gullible age... but i've never regretted, cos despite every stupid thing i did, i still had my personal rules and lines i will not cross... i just pushed boundaries :p HAHA! and besides, if nt for it, i wouldnt have met clo and gang... they're like the best thing that happened to me in the shittiest circumstances XD yes Ry, now's the time to comment bout how great you are and blah -_- oh and anw! you are such an influence on kiddo! did you see him dance to moves like jaggers when i was there? shit! you're turning him into you, you manwhore! HAHA!!! where did he learn to dance like that?!? he's still a kid RY!!! XD he's gonna flip when he sees this... but nothing i cnt handle~ kekeke... and anw, where in the world were you after all the dancing when you were suppose to "watch out for me" as quoted by Clo huh? if it's whoring around and getting your game on with some club chick then just forget that i asked, i do not need details, thankyouverymuch~ XD anw, i dun think i got to say this before you disappeared the other day... thanks for sticking up for me when well the dave thingy was brought up by those jerks... kiddo too, well he had his fun by handing it to them and winning those cash cos of it... so i guess that's his reward... HAHA! i miss you guys...

totally sidetracked...

so... about humans wanting what they could not have.. can you blame me for being human?

i missed having beardpapa custard puffs delivered to me at times like this...

Like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it...

Hey peeps~ long time no blog... HAHA where in the world did that come from :p term submission's over, just A TERM! and im like half dead... haixx... so yup here to blog, cos i've def missed out on alot of stuff and im free now... wanted to blog bout suju's perf but suan le la~ u guys can go search for it yourselves if u want to :p there are also alot of photos that i'd love to share, be it artsy kind or just plain camwhoring kind... scratch that... camwhoring sounds crude... shud say selca *fyi: self cam* but all you bloggers out there would noe that uploading pictures in posts can be a *$#$%^& especially if taken from a dslr when the file size is damn huge! tried couple of times, failed and gave up... so yup, dun really noe bout pics hosting sites and how they work... if any of you out there reading this know anything, please comment and tell me! otherwise, no pics!!! HAHA no la... well i've got tumblr, but havent been using... so i might just upload it onto tumblr instead ^^ then that comes to another qns... shud i just close this blog down and switch to tumblr? hmm... dilemma... oh well... we'll see...

so anw for this blog post, i'll just be intro-ing some songs that i've been listening to recently ^^ aint new... just what im into right this moment...

first up! emo song! Love Pain by Hwanhee

Always a fan of fly to the sky, and i've never been a supporter of their solo works but this is amazing! came across while watching mubank... was waiting for suju's perf, and then hwanhee came on with this song and it blew me away... the guy in the mv is his cousin lee jang woo... cute guy :p but hate his hair now, use to be cuter :p love pain's the eng title, but the korean's trans would be "feels like im dying" hence the lyrics are really emo and sad... You guy shud prolly watch the live perf too... cos normally i'll imagine ballad perf like this to be just the singer sole standing and singing... but for this, there were backup dancers in the background... not bad~ and if i din rmbr rongly, one of the dancers quite cute :p HAHA!!!

Since i mentioned fly to the sky, shud intro another singer who is from some time back...

I Have A Lover by Seo In Young

Love Seo In Young's voice! and if you watch her on variety, she's damn hilarious! great personality, v real! this song is an oldies remake... originally by Lee Eun Mi... there are alot of versions out there... but i think Seo In Young's the best! oldies have the best lyrics... simple yet beautiful... oh! donghae and kry covered this song before too! shall put it up as well :p



enough bout emo korean songs... lolx seriously, every year at this time i'll always lean towards ballads... it's the autumn vibes!

next up Hocus Pocus by 2lson

attracted to this song 'cos it's R&B!!! Like duh! my fav music genre! it's some new unknown group? lolx is it even a group? i dunno what to call it... apparently, 2LSON consists of an 18 year old vocalist Hyo Bin, music composers LE and Jason and lyricist Noel... AND! the composers of the group are Berklee College of Music graduates... lolx that's cool for me la, dunno if it is to you guys or not :p

next song aint a recommendation but i just wanna comment on it...

Top Girl by Gna

gna can do so much better... seriously! i'll back off so you can live better is great! she should continue along that line... yet she's coming out with such genre's that the kpop world's already filled to the brim with? haixx... and one funny news that i came across on her some time back was that she's endorsing lingerie... no biggie since it's a fact she has a great bod... the funny bit is that... source reported "Singer G.NA shows off a shocking transformation through a lingerie photoshoot.
Recently, G.NA was chosen as the model for lingerie brand, Lefee. Through the photoshoot, G.NA was able to show off a different side of her attractiveness." LOLX!!! Seriously?!? What different side? It's still the same side what, her boobs -_- and to top it off, the pictures were bad! what's up with the photographer? cheap shot and badly photoshopped... cheap as in not slutty cheap... but as in amateur cheap... if you guys want the pics, you can view it here...
http://www.allkpop.com/2011/08/g-na-poses-for-lingerie-brand-lefee
i refuse to contaminate my blog with such garbage :p

this is for ZY! told you bout an old song of BoA that i really like right? here you go~
Goodbye by BoA

i want the old BoA back!!! :'(

i've only been listening to one chinese song recently, and it's old...

Ai Cuo by Wang Lee Hom

Where in the world is he now?!? COME BACK!!! and with such music!!! no more chinked -out blah blah please~ keke^^

seems like im more into eng songs recently...

first up Broken Strings by James Morrison ft Nelly Furtado

great song since 2009!!! underrated singer... his voice's really unique! great duet! i was playing this song in class, and then most of my classmates started singing! and it was a duet competition! HAHA cool rite my class~

What if by Colbie Cailat

Another underrated singer! How can taylor swift be sucha big thing and yet not her? ppl! wake up!!! HAHA!!! always been looking out for her songs... heard this in the movie Letters to Juliet, and've been searching ever since... even cut it out from the movie and edit it myself since it aint out... just out like a mnth ago? HAPPY!!! ^^ and a phrase from the movie that i really love " 'What' and 'if' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life" so true...

Take Your Sweet Time by Jesse McCartney

Still rmbr my room when i was in pri school, i had jesse mccartney's posters all over my wall! HAHA!!! it was indeed a sight... even though some peeps keep telling me how gay he seemed and what not, i still love him and his music :p rmbred the first song i put up on my blog was his "because you live" it's been so long... anw this vid's kinda cut off at the back... but i just wanna put it up cos i love the pics! and seriously! Logan really look like him!!! cept for the baby fats and build wise... HAHA! that's why we got tgt?!? lolx jk jk... he's gonna kill me if he sees this... he really hated me saying that... oh right! you're one of the ones who said jesse mccartney's gay... RAWR!

Why Would I Ever by Sam Watter

can't believe i never intro this song before... was going through my hard disk some time back, dug up all the songs i had... that explains all the old song recommendations... unknown singer but great song... proud of my music collection ^^

What Are Words by Chris Medina

AMAZING SONG!!! seriously!!! simple yet beautiful~ great melody, great voice, great lyrics!
how i came across this songs really weird... occasionally i'll just search for tdotcproduction's stuff... has always listen to their beat be it for dance or just for hearing sake... and i came across they're version of the song... which is covered by alot of people out there who remix and what not... and came by illmaticc's version... HAHA confusing right... i'll just post it up...

well it's a rough remix, not well done... but i like the beats... different feel to the original... the rap and mixing's by illmaticc while the voice remix is by tdotcproductions... maybe i should post a tdot production too... this is one of my fav

check out their stuff! some are really neat... some are... HAHA! no one's perfect right? :p

so anw, been to m'sia awhile back... super impromptu... cos i was in a hella foul mood... so i just wanna meet up with my crazy peeps and let loose... maybe i'll blog bout the whole trip in another post, maybe not... cos there's lots of content to sift out.. HAHA! like i said, i was with my crazy peeps and it was a crazy night... so anw, why i brought this up was cos the trip got me stuck onto 2 songs...

first up... So Cold by Chris Brown

Went to Chase's cos heard the boys were with him... and when i arrive they were having dance prac... they showed me what they've been up to and it's to this song! they were awesome!!! lolx as much as i hate to admit it on my blog cos Kiddo and Ry sure's gonna be reading this sometime later and rubbing me in the face bout complimenting them the next time i see them, they were great! i was inspired and was hooked onto it! came back home and search for this song and guess what i found...

FYI that's Eunhyuk! HAHAHA i just realize throughout u can't see his face... :p

and another's Moves Like Jagger by Maroon5 ft Christina Aguilera

Kiddo got me hung on this song! irritating kid humming to it the whole night, even when at the club he went up to the dj's, requested for it and forced me to dance with him. Irritating but i had fun! As usual, our mo qi is the best!!! What would you do without me?!? :p HAHAHA!!! bet you're taking your phone now wanting to call me right?!? put it down! im not gonna answer! HAHA!!!

so yeap~ that's all i think~ hope i din miss any out... but even if i did, so what? lolx ^^ this is tiring... going off~ *byong*

xoxo

credits: to all the video uploaders! you guys are awesome! THANKYOU!