konbachiwa~ haha using yamapi's greeting... anw... shall blog a lil b4 i go orh orh... haha pig, i noe... n y slp so early on a Fri nite rite? cos im stil unwell... n worst... having cramps -_- XueYing Jie u pass it to me le la!!! haha...

anw... today was crazeee... aftr sch wen lukin for Vian... sry neh... song yong you pon eng remedial... now got u into hot soup... GOMEN... aftr tt we wen str8 to ava slack... cnt reali slack cos got ppl kip cumin in... i reali feel lyk lockin the door lo!!! den let dem cum in at 3... haha but i din... so dance started wif warm ups n i took the attendence... duno hu mark attendence de lo... mark til so untidy... i have to rerite... super untidy de... c oso blur...

next laoshi came n dance resume... intend to sit at the side to rest de... but later i started marking positions... n i started to full up... natural tingy... cant control... all was ok til the v end wen i started coughin lyk MAD!!! the air wen thin again n i broke out in cold sweat... so stepped out of ava for awhile... since isnt my turn yet... sry once again for those hu saw me n chua tio... lyk wat was i doin squattin outside ava covered wif uniform la... sure luk super cui... arh!!! but anw in the end all was well... managed to full up o!!! no doubt aftr tt cough lyk mad la... but stil hv to jiao dai stuff... let every1 hear my "sexy" voice... lolx... Christine was lyk... "Vanessa,,, drink more water neh... ur voice..." lolx... thx neh... although im not a fan of drinkin water but i will... in order to recover quick quick... :) n yea my voice became "sexier" due to all the raising my voice lo...

Lastly, i would once again wana apologise to laoshi, n all my dance members... sry neh... cos of me, have to make las min huge changes... made me kinda emo la... seein laoshi crackin his brain tryin to fill up my space... tellin me tt its fine... forcing every1 to adapt to their new arrangement... im reali sry... HONTO NI GOMENASAI... but at least got rid of a big weight off my shoulders... hence i feel beta... as in emotionally... physically... haha... i gues it has gotten worst... but nvm... i'll recover de!!!

ps: no pics for the day... Vian, i wud not post all our zi lian pics... i luk SUPER DUPER CUI!!! jian bu de ren :(

feelin kinda lost rite now... wudnt say y or how... but jz wana say...
SORRY laoshi... although u said its ok... nvm... i gues it stil matters alot to me ba...
SORRY to my frens... i noe u guys are v concern... thx... sry to worry u guys...
SORRY to my fellow dance mates... i duno wat laoshi's gonna do tmrw... we'll see... but i'll jz apologise in advance...
as for others hu chua tio today... im sorry...
and Poh Kang... sry neh... din do wat u ask me to... at least i did but nth came out la... sry... and thx for ur concern... although its dumb to put ur big face behind me... haha...

all in all... gomen...

I FEEL TERRIBLE!!! lolx... i dun even bother wif greetings animore... anw... today went past in an excruciation way... cos im stil sick!!! and it has gotten worst ba... been rejectin calls all day cos i lost my voice... those of wich i answered... feel honoured cos u heard my sexy voice... haha jk... n y am i bloggin? cos im here to giv Sam a clue... haha... been havin tis relapse tingy... n i dun have med!!! retarded doctor ytd says i dun nid it worx!!! god damnit!!! now i nid it man!!! u have no rite to b a doc!!! tink u doc liao bu qi can kiao ka izit!!! GTH la... u are causin patients their life!!! if i were to die i wil HAUNT YOU!!! haha choy i wun man... i wun go b4 u!!! hmph!!!


anw the relapse gave me a "memory relapse" too... it brot me bak to days whr i was reali sickly due to it... i had to pull tru slpless nites... n my mum had to pei me watch tv... haha... cos i couldnt fall aslp due to it n was lyk complainin... so my mum wud accompany me in the livin rm... hopin the television could distract me... causin me to feel beta... n she wud fall aslp on the couch... haha xin ku ni le o... las tym i oso v evil... i knew tt my mum was aslp... but mayb cos i hate the feelin of being alone den ba... so i wud shi bu shi call out "mummy u still awake anot"... haha... she wud den wake up n say shes awake... so cute lo... but of cos i knew she was slpin... but somehow tt made me feel beta... evil but tru...



but as i grew older... i no longer lyk to tell peeps bout it... thr were even nitex whr i wud have to "suffer in silence"... haha souns wierd... but i wud hv to avoid wrds to prevent sum1 from guessin... haha... bak to story... i wud rather stay up myself n try to control it rather than waking my mum... causin a hassle... and i am not afraid of bein alone le... yay! haha... but i became a liar... a liar whom wud lie tt im fine bout it... tt its a small ting... but at least it made me stronger... as in physically... i've improved... realy... n tis illness wud not come "visit" me tt often le... i tink its lyk a psychological tingy ba.... lyk if u tink u can u can tt type... its not tru but it hlps...



oya i rmbr thr was once whr i had to bring tis machine home from the docs... i had to sit by it... receive the treatment everyday ba... cnt reali rmbr... dun wan to either... n i dun have cancer!!! whoever tinkin bout it now... go bang the wall la... haha... but anw tt tym... it was excruciatin too... it made me feel that i was such a weaklin... IM NOT OKAY!!!



so now for the majoy clue... i'll describe the process of havin the relapse...

it feels lyk the air froze...

all was quiet and only heavy breathing can be heard...

it feels lyk as though im being strangled...

cut off from air supply...

but no matter how hard i struggle... or plead...

the monster jz wun let go...

all i can do was to endure...

waitin for it to vanish into thin air...

but stil... the wait was excruciatin...

especially wen i had to endure it alone...

as i grew older... i learnt tt it wasnt so scary aftr all...

all i had to do was to be in control of myself...

be it by distractin or calmin myself down... stil... its a way...

gradually the duration between visits turn shorter...

and i became complacent...

throwing away "weapons" tt i used to use against it...

hate the feelin of grabbin on to the "weapons" so tightly...

wif trembling hands...

it makes me feel lyk im sum sort of drug addict...

desperate for it...

Unfortunately, it stil came back...

thus i gave up all tots of strugglin...

jz waitin for it to go away...

not leavin ani evidence behind...

im positive its cumin bak for me later...

once again i wud hv to endure the excrutiatin process alone...

*this aint a poem... y wud i rite such a bad poem... tis aint a story either... i can do better... tis is jz phrases of tots runnin tru my head den...

o well... so much for the emo entry... Sam, its super obvious la... n rmbr ur promise!!! :)

and those hu noe bout it... keep mum kkaes? dun discuss it ovr the tagboard... onegai... arigatou...


DAMN THAT STUPID MONSTER!!! HAHA

minna san~ konbawa~ okay its not reali evening... i noe... but its the closest mah... haha... anw i gues i wun b goin to sch tmrw... i dun wana risk my grades... so to my darlings... LeeSun, Vivian and Peixuan... honto ni gomen ne... honto gomen... i noe u guys wil understand de la, rite? hehe... as for HL... haha shall not disclose hu is he... i noe u'll miss me de la... haha but sry... jkjk... i tink if he sees tis he wil kill me... o well... now movin on to my main post...

Yupx tts rite, i aint kiddin... Final Fantasy Advent Children... i noe its a boi boi stuff la... but hey! dun discriminate the girls!!! haha jk... anw ytd while i was slpin... my bro came into my room n ask me to watch a clip in his psp... Its a FF clip... sum short clip tingy in the mid of the game or watsoeva... quite cool neh... Fyi: Sephiroth was stil a gd person den... yea fightin duno hu la... i tink the bad 1 more shuai... haha... ever appear to u tt bad guys are always more shuai? y arh? ok mayb not always... cos Yamapi isnt bad... but often... anw aftr he showed me the clip... he played the FFAC movie for me... it was superb!!! storyline is simple la... but im more of a lookin-out-for-their-graphic-technology person... it was v well done... jz the hair alone makes my jaw drop... its so real!!! there were many scenes whr i had to remind myself tt tis is all fake... not real... Lyk wat my bro said, what makes it perfect is its imperfections... chim eh? tot bout it n i seriously agree wif him... cos nth is ever perfect... if sometin is drawn to perfect... den its fake... cos it wud nvr hapen in real life... thr were also alot of scenes which cant be filmed in real life... jz impossible... so while watchin... i kept tinkin how many brain cells of the crew died from makin tis movie... jz a snapshot... and u wud c how many calculations or shud i say tots are bein put into it to make it real and at the same time realistic... do i make sense? haha as in... it wudnt luk fake... lyk we wudnt tink 'how can lyk tt de... so fake... siao arh' and lets say if we slowdown the fightin scenes... everytin wud make sense... no fake blurry stuff jz becos its fast... fuuly wel-choreographed tis shows how much effort is being put into it... hence i highly recommend peeps to watch it... u'll be amazed...

the main character... Cloud... super shuai wif nice hair... haha... super qiang, beat Sephiroth o!!! and he is good de!!! haha



the girl lead... Tifa... chio!!! but bro say got more chio de... wth!!! i tink if she were to b a real person... all the other girls can go bang their heads against the wall le la... and i wud b lyk " eyes so big for wat la... shen cai so gd for wat la... hmph!" haha~ cant eat grape say grape sour...

anw aftr the movie... the only word tt came to my mind was CRAZY... haha cos alot has been put into the movie... hard to explain... watch it!!! n i feel that Kadaj is kinda ke lian la... he jz wans his mother mah... so strictly speakin he is lyk a child hu wans his mum... its only tt his mum is an alien la... so ke lian... but all in all... it was GREAT!!!

FF13 is coming out o... two on ps3 n 1 on psp... i prefer the single male lead ps3 ver de [in the pic above]... FF versus 13... SHUAI mah... haha... the other 1 got girl de... not interested... haha... o well... shall move on... kip sayin FF oso quite boring... anw if anitin stated is wrong... plz correct me... im not a big fan of theirs... hence wadeva i've said is based on pure opinions n on wat my bro told me...

next is tt i wana ask every1 to drink more water!!! muz stay healthy o... given the bad weather, every1 is fallin sick... my dear Wenqi, KaiLin, Irene... n even JK is sick... plz stay healthy... oya rite... JK caught the same flu as me... wif all the same symptoms n we both caught it on the same day!!! wth... jz tt me more yan zhong la... its freaky... so plz... every1... take good care and stay healthy!!!

finally i wud lyk to end off wif a pic of Yamapi... link to the topic de o... and Sam... im not droolin... haha... bro said in FF duno wich character got 1 black wing or wat de la... so...

TADAH!!! haha... Yamapi daisuki!!!

anw i luv my blog song... not song la... saxophone piece... haha :) XOXO

minna san~ im feelin terrible!!! stupid flu reali got me tis tym... sneezin n coughin lyk mad... n my head hurts bcos of all the studyin? haha blamin the bks... o well... i jz duno whether to go to sch tmrw or not... tmrw got chem n amaths... officialy the las day... but since i skip sch today... it seems lyk i stil have another chi paper to go... n if i skip sch tmrw... i wil have 3 paper on thurs? thurs got DANCE!!! fri oso got DANCE!!! how?!?

fyi: i've got 2 days mc... so its not tt i wana pon or wateva shit kkaes? pardon me... im jz bein grumpy due to all the discomfort...

ani comments on wat i shud do... msg me :)

ps: whoever tt is missin me every sec from Saturday til now... u beta stop it kkaes!!! i've had enuf wif all the endless sneezin... damnit...

*hu yan luan yu le la!!!* :(