drinking right on the night when i shud be free of all my woes... yet i have trouble sleeping... -_- after so many days of sleepless nights... yearning for sleep and all... what's this now?!? i think it's the quick nap in the afternoon right after my submission... not cos i slept, but cos i was scared awake by sweet dreams... for one with a bad memory, im surprised by how i could remember every explicit details of stuff from 3 to 5 years back... who would've known then that happy times would come back to haunt you in the future... close to 4 years... it should stop... frustrated and tired...

afraid to go back to sleep not cos of a nightmare but fearing i'll get sweet dreams instead... pfft... it's ridiculous... im ridiculous... a ridiculous idiot who can't get drunk... that's the most pathetic thing for a supposed lightweight... sucks to be me... maybe i do have a much greater body mass than i think -_- or maybe i should do it in another way and get some redbull mixed with cough syrup in my system... funny how i refused to do that when i was struggling with work day and night yet now thinking bout doing just that when i have absolutely nothing i should be staying awake for... -_-

pardon my sudden crap... i'll blog in normal form soon...

Hey... random time to blog... im busy as hell... sick... stress... and just plain upset... here to rant... just woke up from my sleep... im on 2 days mc as of yesterday and im nt schoolin tmrw... well if i am, the doc would hv given me 3days to last me the whole week...

so yup, that means that i only went to school on tues, and well i went to the last class on wed after the doc's despite having an mc for it... cnt miss that... was having super bad cramps on tues... worst in ages... im totally proud of myself for surviving the whole of tuesday despite many prompts by lecturers to head home... guess it's cos i totally paled out and looked like im from twilight, just without the sparkles... then the embarrassing part came... i fainted when i got home... i totally reached home, open the door of my room, put down my bag and BAM! out i go like a light.. kinda hit my head real hard and there was like a bump on wed... -_- feel so stupid, the bed was so near goddamnit... it's been years since i pass out due to the cramps... pathetic much... parents freaked out... fortunately they manage to get me awake before deciding if i needed the ambulance... of cos me being me insisted that i was fine... how i manage to persuade them was beyond me... cos duh~ of cos i wasnt fine i just passed the !@#$%^$ out... lolx so yup, my pathetic ending to tuesday... wed and thurs passed in a blur... mixture of pain sleep and work... im kinda behind on some work cos i've been resting... haixx stress...

the stress is so intense that i seriously just wan a life remote with a pause button, better yet, a stop button... no im nt suicidal, dun worry... i just havent find the reason to press play willingly... and the fact that deadlines are lying everywhere in the next 3 weeks aint hlping at all... i woke up just half and hour ago and went into the living room to sit with my dad... he kept asking me to go back to sleep, and said that i shouldnt work so hard.. -_- yes my dad really did say that... he said he'd seen me work like crazy and warned me bout ageing too fast cos i was working myself out... as in appearance wise -_- out of everything, he cared more bout my outer appearance... lolx... seriously daddy? i think the pressing matter should be health instead, no? and besides, i've already aged past what i am on the inside, does it matter if i do on the outside? lolx... so anw i just shrug it off and urge him to go to bed... leaving myself to sit with my dog in the living room, having my own emo moment before i come in to blog... that's my life for the past week... lolx sad eh?

autumn... the time when all upsetting thoughts come streaming back... it sucks... it's like i dun even have a choice... only time when im not is when im working and dancing... lolx now i sound stupid like some emo person resorting to working themselves out to relief pain... dun worry, im good...

humans are always bent on getting something that they can never achieve... what's even more heart wrenching is that it was so close, i was given a choice, and i made a stupid decision... despite the still ever ongoing torturous and agonizing after effect, i dun regret it... more like i can't regret it... Clo always say that i've had life experience backwards... things that i shouldnt have come across at my age... and i always jokingly countered back by saying "at least i din get knocked up or something, that would then really be living it backwards..." and she'll always give me the death glare... HAHA... well i was just pulling her leg, and of cos i get her, cos everythings at a wrong timeframe... but at least my choice set things straight... and well through that, it kinda set my life straight... nt that it is damn straight now... just much straighter then what it used to be when i was going through a rebellious stage... HAH! toking as if i aint now... let's just imagine, i was much worst before... much worst... and it came damn early for me :p im a mess... i think i've said this countless times in my blog... i aint proud of the choices i made when i was at a much stupid naive and gullible age... but i've never regretted, cos despite every stupid thing i did, i still had my personal rules and lines i will not cross... i just pushed boundaries :p HAHA! and besides, if nt for it, i wouldnt have met clo and gang... they're like the best thing that happened to me in the shittiest circumstances XD yes Ry, now's the time to comment bout how great you are and blah -_- oh and anw! you are such an influence on kiddo! did you see him dance to moves like jaggers when i was there? shit! you're turning him into you, you manwhore! HAHA!!! where did he learn to dance like that?!? he's still a kid RY!!! XD he's gonna flip when he sees this... but nothing i cnt handle~ kekeke... and anw, where in the world were you after all the dancing when you were suppose to "watch out for me" as quoted by Clo huh? if it's whoring around and getting your game on with some club chick then just forget that i asked, i do not need details, thankyouverymuch~ XD anw, i dun think i got to say this before you disappeared the other day... thanks for sticking up for me when well the dave thingy was brought up by those jerks... kiddo too, well he had his fun by handing it to them and winning those cash cos of it... so i guess that's his reward... HAHA! i miss you guys...

totally sidetracked...

so... about humans wanting what they could not have.. can you blame me for being human?

i missed having beardpapa custard puffs delivered to me at times like this...

Like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it...

Hey peeps~ long time no blog... HAHA where in the world did that come from :p term submission's over, just A TERM! and im like half dead... haixx... so yup here to blog, cos i've def missed out on alot of stuff and im free now... wanted to blog bout suju's perf but suan le la~ u guys can go search for it yourselves if u want to :p there are also alot of photos that i'd love to share, be it artsy kind or just plain camwhoring kind... scratch that... camwhoring sounds crude... shud say selca *fyi: self cam* but all you bloggers out there would noe that uploading pictures in posts can be a *$#$%^& especially if taken from a dslr when the file size is damn huge! tried couple of times, failed and gave up... so yup, dun really noe bout pics hosting sites and how they work... if any of you out there reading this know anything, please comment and tell me! otherwise, no pics!!! HAHA no la... well i've got tumblr, but havent been using... so i might just upload it onto tumblr instead ^^ then that comes to another qns... shud i just close this blog down and switch to tumblr? hmm... dilemma... oh well... we'll see...

so anw for this blog post, i'll just be intro-ing some songs that i've been listening to recently ^^ aint new... just what im into right this moment...

first up! emo song! Love Pain by Hwanhee

Always a fan of fly to the sky, and i've never been a supporter of their solo works but this is amazing! came across while watching mubank... was waiting for suju's perf, and then hwanhee came on with this song and it blew me away... the guy in the mv is his cousin lee jang woo... cute guy :p but hate his hair now, use to be cuter :p love pain's the eng title, but the korean's trans would be "feels like im dying" hence the lyrics are really emo and sad... You guy shud prolly watch the live perf too... cos normally i'll imagine ballad perf like this to be just the singer sole standing and singing... but for this, there were backup dancers in the background... not bad~ and if i din rmbr rongly, one of the dancers quite cute :p HAHA!!!

Since i mentioned fly to the sky, shud intro another singer who is from some time back...

I Have A Lover by Seo In Young

Love Seo In Young's voice! and if you watch her on variety, she's damn hilarious! great personality, v real! this song is an oldies remake... originally by Lee Eun Mi... there are alot of versions out there... but i think Seo In Young's the best! oldies have the best lyrics... simple yet beautiful... oh! donghae and kry covered this song before too! shall put it up as well :p



enough bout emo korean songs... lolx seriously, every year at this time i'll always lean towards ballads... it's the autumn vibes!

next up Hocus Pocus by 2lson

attracted to this song 'cos it's R&B!!! Like duh! my fav music genre! it's some new unknown group? lolx is it even a group? i dunno what to call it... apparently, 2LSON consists of an 18 year old vocalist Hyo Bin, music composers LE and Jason and lyricist Noel... AND! the composers of the group are Berklee College of Music graduates... lolx that's cool for me la, dunno if it is to you guys or not :p

next song aint a recommendation but i just wanna comment on it...

Top Girl by Gna

gna can do so much better... seriously! i'll back off so you can live better is great! she should continue along that line... yet she's coming out with such genre's that the kpop world's already filled to the brim with? haixx... and one funny news that i came across on her some time back was that she's endorsing lingerie... no biggie since it's a fact she has a great bod... the funny bit is that... source reported "Singer G.NA shows off a shocking transformation through a lingerie photoshoot.
Recently, G.NA was chosen as the model for lingerie brand, Lefee. Through the photoshoot, G.NA was able to show off a different side of her attractiveness." LOLX!!! Seriously?!? What different side? It's still the same side what, her boobs -_- and to top it off, the pictures were bad! what's up with the photographer? cheap shot and badly photoshopped... cheap as in not slutty cheap... but as in amateur cheap... if you guys want the pics, you can view it here...
http://www.allkpop.com/2011/08/g-na-poses-for-lingerie-brand-lefee
i refuse to contaminate my blog with such garbage :p

this is for ZY! told you bout an old song of BoA that i really like right? here you go~
Goodbye by BoA

i want the old BoA back!!! :'(

i've only been listening to one chinese song recently, and it's old...

Ai Cuo by Wang Lee Hom

Where in the world is he now?!? COME BACK!!! and with such music!!! no more chinked -out blah blah please~ keke^^

seems like im more into eng songs recently...

first up Broken Strings by James Morrison ft Nelly Furtado

great song since 2009!!! underrated singer... his voice's really unique! great duet! i was playing this song in class, and then most of my classmates started singing! and it was a duet competition! HAHA cool rite my class~

What if by Colbie Cailat

Another underrated singer! How can taylor swift be sucha big thing and yet not her? ppl! wake up!!! HAHA!!! always been looking out for her songs... heard this in the movie Letters to Juliet, and've been searching ever since... even cut it out from the movie and edit it myself since it aint out... just out like a mnth ago? HAPPY!!! ^^ and a phrase from the movie that i really love " 'What' and 'if' are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life" so true...

Take Your Sweet Time by Jesse McCartney

Still rmbr my room when i was in pri school, i had jesse mccartney's posters all over my wall! HAHA!!! it was indeed a sight... even though some peeps keep telling me how gay he seemed and what not, i still love him and his music :p rmbred the first song i put up on my blog was his "because you live" it's been so long... anw this vid's kinda cut off at the back... but i just wanna put it up cos i love the pics! and seriously! Logan really look like him!!! cept for the baby fats and build wise... HAHA! that's why we got tgt?!? lolx jk jk... he's gonna kill me if he sees this... he really hated me saying that... oh right! you're one of the ones who said jesse mccartney's gay... RAWR!

Why Would I Ever by Sam Watter

can't believe i never intro this song before... was going through my hard disk some time back, dug up all the songs i had... that explains all the old song recommendations... unknown singer but great song... proud of my music collection ^^

What Are Words by Chris Medina

AMAZING SONG!!! seriously!!! simple yet beautiful~ great melody, great voice, great lyrics!
how i came across this songs really weird... occasionally i'll just search for tdotcproduction's stuff... has always listen to their beat be it for dance or just for hearing sake... and i came across they're version of the song... which is covered by alot of people out there who remix and what not... and came by illmaticc's version... HAHA confusing right... i'll just post it up...

well it's a rough remix, not well done... but i like the beats... different feel to the original... the rap and mixing's by illmaticc while the voice remix is by tdotcproductions... maybe i should post a tdot production too... this is one of my fav

check out their stuff! some are really neat... some are... HAHA! no one's perfect right? :p

so anw, been to m'sia awhile back... super impromptu... cos i was in a hella foul mood... so i just wanna meet up with my crazy peeps and let loose... maybe i'll blog bout the whole trip in another post, maybe not... cos there's lots of content to sift out.. HAHA! like i said, i was with my crazy peeps and it was a crazy night... so anw, why i brought this up was cos the trip got me stuck onto 2 songs...

first up... So Cold by Chris Brown

Went to Chase's cos heard the boys were with him... and when i arrive they were having dance prac... they showed me what they've been up to and it's to this song! they were awesome!!! lolx as much as i hate to admit it on my blog cos Kiddo and Ry sure's gonna be reading this sometime later and rubbing me in the face bout complimenting them the next time i see them, they were great! i was inspired and was hooked onto it! came back home and search for this song and guess what i found...

FYI that's Eunhyuk! HAHAHA i just realize throughout u can't see his face... :p

and another's Moves Like Jagger by Maroon5 ft Christina Aguilera

Kiddo got me hung on this song! irritating kid humming to it the whole night, even when at the club he went up to the dj's, requested for it and forced me to dance with him. Irritating but i had fun! As usual, our mo qi is the best!!! What would you do without me?!? :p HAHAHA!!! bet you're taking your phone now wanting to call me right?!? put it down! im not gonna answer! HAHA!!!

so yeap~ that's all i think~ hope i din miss any out... but even if i did, so what? lolx ^^ this is tiring... going off~ *byong*

xoxo

credits: to all the video uploaders! you guys are awesome! THANKYOU!

hey peeps, back... short post cos im really sleepy... and i just gotta put this up... Mr. Simple music video!!! seriously SM is really treating our suju boys badly... every other SM artist's mv is better than suju... yet suju makes much more $ than them... wth... it's totally like what happen to bonamana mv... just space and some fancy flickering lights... it's even worst than bonamana... in terms of set and overall preparation or should i say packaging and the final presentation... seriously, they deserve better!!!

but even so, im still loving the MV cos it's SUJU... HAHA!!! that reason is enuff... it's kinda irritating how i tried to concentrate on watching the mv as a whole and focus on the dance yet subconsciously always focus on donghae... it's like an immediate reaction thingy... no matter how fast the cuts jump i can spot him immediately... super pro... HAHA! irritating cos i had to repeat a few times to get the entire pic...

not really impressed... i rmbr how i was blown off by suju's uniformity way back but now it's either some of them really were off or im just improving in terms of eyesight and observations :p well i guess it's understandable cos they're all super busy with diff schedules and like members of sjm just fin their promos not long ago and blah blah... but then again, if so, the camera man should be smart enuff to capture the good stuff instead of mistakes... glad that kyuhyun made it into the dance break! so it's donghae, hyukjae, kyuhyun and sungmin... eunhyuk's definitely getting alot of attention for this promos eh? being the only blonde, not to mention platinum blond... he got to sing... top dancer [as usual tho] and reverse flying jacket in the teaser... HAHA!!! Kiddo was skyping me, we talked bout suju since he read my blog and he commented that eunhyuk looks like an albino =X and i was like arguing how i tink GD looks more like one during heartbreaker promos... and then he was saying that i shouldnt diss SJ funky cos it's their style and proven to be successful... cos when you hear it, you'll immediately know it's suju... i agree... but well I JUST DUN LIKE IT! I PREFER THE OTHER SONGS AND THAT SJ FUNKY CAUSES THEIR VOCAL TALENTS TO BE UNDERATED BY MANY! SO BITE ME! :P to hate it is too much cos i dun, it's catchy and all... but on top of that, there are better songs in the album ^^ AND!!! i totally hate one of sungmin's outfit that looks like a butcher's apron... haha massive fail... one of eeteuk's outfit was oso irritated me... the bottom of an inner white piece was hanging out of a yellow vest yet all under a blazer together with suit pants... the piece hanging out made him look like he was wearing his briefs or diapers on the outside in some camera angles... lolx kinda disturbing... so anw enuff of the blabbering, im tired anw... here's the mv!



oh! the mv just came out today and yet the dance already has a name... penguin dance XD and yea forgot to mention this, loving the fact that my donghae's in the centre at the end ^^ HAHAHA random note... so anw im looking forward to their comeback stage tmrw ^^ turning in~ night world~

xoxo

hey peeps! sry, havent blogged and explained the last post... well, i haven't received the pictures at that time. And now that i have, i do not have the time to edit and post it -_- school started and it's crazy from the start, but i think i got a superb timetable ^^ anw this post's gonna be short too, cos im turning in soon since i need to wake up early for school tomorrow... just wanna come blog bout suju's 5th album. It's coming out tomorrow but the tracks are alr out ^^ listened to the whole album and im gonna do a review from my fav song~

1st: Y
Im totally not being bias! i swear... it's composed and written by Donghae and One way's Chance. the melody's good and the lyrics are awesome! my fav!!! and! major killer for eunhae worshippers! eunhae RAP!!! SCREAM!!! keke^^ anw here's the trans of the lyrics... Parts annotation done by me... Might have errors cos the only voice I can pick out immediately and instinctively is Donghae's... I'm just guessing the others... Especially when there's similarities -_- I tried finding one online, but mostly are wrong... Quoting diff sentence or only consist of a few member -_- so yea... Here goes~

Donghae:
When I see you, I only smile- even shy smiles
Your eyes that look at me- are they sad and talking of goodbye baby?

Sungmin and Ryeowook:
Are you that tired of seeing the same person
And doing the same things every day?
Yesung;
Will you forgive me?
Sungmin and Ryeowook:
Please think about it one more time
I won’t let you go now

All and Sungmin:
I’m a fool to have made you cry
Letting you go was because I was lacking
All and Eeteuk:
Forgive me for trying to erase you
Please- so that I can breathe again

Heechul:
When I see you, I cry- you make me into a fool
Kyuhyun:
When you have a change of heart, I will be standing there on your way back baby

Siwon:
The breakup that you prepared
Yesung:
hurts me so bad that I could die
Eeteuk:
even after time passes
Siwon and Yesung:
There’s still so much that I have to do for you before I let you go

All and Eunhyuk:
I’m a fool to have made you cry
Letting you go was because I was lacking
All and Eeteuk:
Forgive me for trying to erase you
Ryeowook:
Please- so that I can breathe again


Eunhyuk:
Where do I start? Starting at some point, we lost the preciousness (Donghae: you know even if I don’t say it)
But I miss each second of each minute and
Your beautiful, eye-blinding smile
I hope this touches you heart
Will my sad prayer pass this rain and pass on to you?
Donghae:
I’m so in pain right now because you have left
I’m so in pain- why is it so hard?
I think about you every night
Do you know how anxious I get if I don’t think about you for just one day?
You probably don’t know- there’s no way you will know
If you think of me once in a while, then please come back then

ALL:
**Saying I love you, saying it to you
Saying I miss you, Saying I want to hug you, and only you
Ryeowook:
I want to protect you
Kyuhyun:
For you, who will come back to me

2nd: 폭풍 (Storm)
ballad by KRY, Sungmin and Donghae (KRYSD). i like the entire feel of the song. AND having donghae to start it off is a cherry on top

3rd: 해바라기 (Sunflower)
light hearted song ^^ so summer-ish... totally an on-the-go song, like on a train or bus on a sunny day ^^ and when donghae sings "... fashion" i was like ME!!! HAHA cos IM OFFICIALLY A FASHION STUDENT! kinda sensitive to that word these days :

4th: 기억을 따라(Memories)
Once again, ballads gets to me...

5th: My Love, My Kiss, My Heart
a very unusual genre for KRY. normally they're like only ballad, this isnt the norm but in a good way! it's a great attempt! nice~

6th: Walkin'
this song's really westernized. sounds like a mixture of jason mraz and bruno mars plus their own song "no other"? HAHA hear it and judge it yourself.

7th: 어느새 우린 (Good Friends)
it has a very jazzy retro feel to it, and i tot sungmin and kyuhyun both pulled it off really well! it's refreshing! for those who know who is yoon jung shin, this song's composed by him! lyrics portraying the entire 6 years of being in suju.

8th: 오페라(Opera)
similar to boom boom in the last album

9th: Mr Simple
title song... totally a mixture of bonamana and sorry sorry... self plagiarizing much -_- the SJ funky thingy just gotta stop la... i prefer songs that arent auto tuned... it's cos of this kinda music that causes the impression that they cnt sing... like when how they're on some music competition variety, ppl are shocked that eeteuk, heechul and many more can actually sing really well... haixx... but it's definitely a song that grows onto you, guess that's how the SJ funky thingy works...

10th: 태완미 (太完美 Perfection)
title song for sjm's latest album but in korean. prefer the chinese one, and the korean ver. lyrics are just 0.0 the lyricist is weird... number 10 cos it ain't new...

last 3 songs i totally dunno how to rank -_- listen once or twice and it's totally forgotten :p not that impressive la...

라라라라 (Be My Girl)
electronic AGAIN -_- it's the 3rd track on the album, 1st is Mr. Simple 2nd was Opera... cn you imagine how i felt listening to 3 electronic autotuned straight?!? i wanted to tear my ear phones... HAHA glad after that, it became better and better ^^

결투 (Feels Good)
westernized feel to it too... sounds like a britney spears song.. forgot what song, one that's kinda lame... i just dun get this song la :p

엉뚱한 상상 (White Christmas)
a remake from a song in 1996. Jinu’s song. i normally do not appreciate remakes unless it's dang good... too bad it falls short... oh well...

overall! i thought that the album was better as compared to the last... i really like the first 7 songs i intro... and i've been having Y on replay for the entire day :p donghae and chance's a genius... i've always like donghae's compositions... but this time he really did improve and he totally knew what's his own style^^ maybe i should write a post on his self composed songs ^.~ even if he grow too old to being in an idol grp... at least he still have another way to earn a living! HAHA!!! singing, dancing, acting, composing... so proud of him! keke^^ kkaes~ go check the songs out ppl! it's in my playlist on the right... oh! 2 teasers are out on the smtown youtube channel... not gonna post it cos the songs used in them aren't in the album -_- retarded, i like the teaser songs... maybe in repackage album? *pray*

tmrw the album will be out, thurs is press con and mv of Mr. Simple will be out. fri is first comeback stage on music bank, followed by music core on sat and inkigayo on sunday ^^ looking forward... hopefully i'll be able to update even tho im busy with school... still rmbr the time when i went MIA when school starts? it might happen again, no promises whatsoever... so yupx till next time~

kkaes turning in~ nitex^^

xoxo

cr for lyrics-
Hangul Lyrics: SJ-market
Romanization: www.lyricsty.com
Translated by: www.popgasa.com
Posted by: superaffxtion.wordpress.com
Parts annotation: its-v.blogspot.com

Hey peeps! Bloggin on fone, too tired to log onto my comp :p short one...NO WORDS COULD DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL TODAY!!! FEAR-FILLED DAY!!! Enduring the sweltering weather, Walking on abandoned restricted path with bag, shoes and clothes that are definitely not meant for hiking, climbing over stairs and fences, scared outta my wits walking the hill top walk, hike up to henderson wave, got lost trying to navigate ourselves out and a HELL LOTTA WALKING!!! Uphill and downhill for 4 hrs plus plus... Now I'm worned out... Full post will be up by the weekends I hope :p off... Zzzzz

konbachiwa~ *so long since i used a jap greeting to start my post* hey peeps im back once again~ ^^ i hope this will be a less rattle more content kinda post :p so anw starting with yesterday... i didnt manage to go to NEX cos sunny had last min extra class... sho ga nai neh~ keke^^ so i end up staying in bed most of the day *since i was still kinda unwell and weak* watching jap videos ^^ catch up on some eye candies which i've neglected HAHAHA... that kinda explains the lil jap i used earlier...

another reason being i was out with my bro today searching for those takoyaki tray maker thingy cos he wanted to make takoyaki -_- HAHA so anw i was out in town trying to search for that damn thing... it's super hard to find and we finally found it in isetan at shaw house... the one in wisma dun have it... taka has it but kinda ex... tangs dun have it... so yea shaw house was our last hope... and throughout the day my bro has been babbling japanese here and there and it slowly turned to rambles... HAHA while for me, since my vocab's kinda limited cos i've forgotten alot :p the two things i said the most today was "wakaranai [i don't know]" and "hayaku!!! [hurry up]" keke^^ of cos i said other stuff and asked my bro to go knock his head on a piece of tofu in jap... these two filled my day... cos he kept asking me how this how that, dun have how blah blah blah... and he takes uber long to search for something... he's the kind that goes grocery shopping with a list... but instead of grabbing whatever's on the list and head for the cashier like me... he still goes from shelf to shelf, and normally he'll shop the whole mart twice!!! seriously bro, what's the pt of having a list when you're just gonna shop the entire mart?!? dun understand neh... in this holiday, i prolly accompanied my bro to the groceries for more than 5 times... and everytime, i gotta bring my mp3 and plug them in to keep me company while i stand at a corner with the pushcart instead of following him around^^ it's like our gender switched :p im always complaining how he's not efficient and stuff, he'll be like "if you want efficient than go grab some instant noodles and you can go home first... im not gonna cook for you" seriously at times i really wanna do as threatened... but my bro's really a good cook so nah i shall suck it up... lolx!!! for those out there who are thinking that i dunno how to cook upon reading this... u guys are so wrong... i do noe how to cook... not chinese... more like western and italian... but i just can't be bothered to if im the only one's that gonna eat... cos it's def faster and easier to settle for instant noodles no? and cooking also means washing!!! which i totally hate! but i hate stacked dishes in the sinks more... so i gotta clear them up no despite being unwilling... talking bout washing... i still do wash when my bro cooks tho... but hey im not complainin... cos afterall he cooked... and he really does a great job... like sauce and everything all self made... very detailed... so yup not gonna go against him and missed out on the good food :p

oh ya! i went to the face shop to get some stuff... since the face shop originated from Korea, the staff would greet the customer in Korean... so when the cashier was done with my stuff she thanked me in simple Korean and i replied in Korean unknowingly... i was really tired and sleepy, prolly cos of the meds i ate which explains why i was kinda grumpy to bro... i totally was like spacing out throughout... until bro said "eh why u con them into believing you're a Korean, mean neh u" and i was like "huh what" "the staff la, they all thought you were Korean when you replied them, din you saw their faces?" lolx honestly i didnt even realize i spoked in Korean... all i wanted was to get outta there and go home... i really didnt had the intentions of tricking them... and who said that peeps who speak in Korean MUST BE Koreans? they did too but i never assume what... lolx can't blame me :p that left bro speechless... keke^^ so yup i think im kinda done with the rambling bout boring ol' me... onto some interesting stuff yea?

throughout the whole of school year i guess... i hardly ever update on kpop or any music stuff... cos it takes time to actually pen down my thoughts and embed the video up here... so i've missed out on intro-ing alot of stuff... i shall try to rmbr as much as i can... disclaimer... it might not be new stuff, just stuff im still hung on to lately or have a piece of my mind i wanna tell ^^

going down my itunes list, sifting out some songs i would like to intro and that have accompanied me through the school year ^^ def not all la... but just some i rmbr :p

Bad Guy by Joo... Joo's a new solo singer from JYP!!! that's the first reason why i decided to check her out... JYP's always known for groups... as for solo artiste, i always hold an impression that one has to be of a certain standard to be a solo artiste from JYP... especially females... and to debut with a ballad's always eye catching... not to be forgotten... getting Chansung to participate in the MV's totally the cherry on top! for me at least~ keke^^ great song, cool bubble gun~ XD checked out her live, wasnt that impressed but for a freshie, not bad la~



Love Revolution by CNblue... normally i don't really go for indie bands... i always think that when accompanied with a band i'll go for the real noisy rock kind... if not then dun have a band and just stick to the usual... it's kinda difficult for songs of this genre to make it up my playlist but this sure did... and it suits the season now no? summery feel to it~ im kinda expecting alot from this band... and besides there's Jung YongHwa~ keke^^



For The First Time Lovers by Jung YongHwa~ keke^^ this song's actually composed by him for his "wife" in a variety show We got married when he was "married" to Seohyun from SNSD... it was a duet in the variety show, revolving around the message of Seohyun unable to speak in normal form to her "husband" and that Yonghwa hope she'll drop the formalities... it's good too, you guys can search it up in youtube... it's called the "banmal song" ... this rendition is an official single by yonghwa... i guess there were company issues that's why seohyun wasn't in it... and it's he's song after all... im not complaining cos i love his voice :p



I already miss you by G.na... honestly speaking, i was kinda disappointed with G.na's comeback... and this was prolly the only song i like from her latest works... and what's up with the mv? low budget much?!? maybe they wanna potray simplicity and what not to focus on her voice instead of making it too fancy and blurred the focus... but seriously, was this necessary? no matter what, i still like the song... just hope cube ent will start treating her better :p



Nice to meet you by G.na and Wheesung... really cute song for the summer ^^ i tot the genre was a cool attempt from both artiste... i wouldn't have expect it from them... but it was pulled off well ^^



Can't i love you by Jinwoon and Changmin of 2am... i've intro-ed 2am before right? unusual genre for 2am... not the usual ballad... it's really good... ost for dream high... and the one below is another version in the show by the actors of dream high... a different feel... good too^^



Can't i love you acapella ver by Kim Soo Hyun and IU... love wooyoung's expressions... and JYP's :o HAHAHA! there's also a non acapella ver out there.. but i prefer this... if you guys want it search it!!! HAHAHA^^

alil bout IU.. she's really young and talented, with a great voice too... but i kinda dislike the genres she sings... kinda cutesy... cos of that, i like her covers more... there are a couple on the net... you guys can search for it but this has got to be my fav.. performed on a radio show... i need a girl originally by taeyang...



now onto some i have a piece of my mind to share :p

chinese song first?



當我知道你們相愛 by Derrick Hoh... well i'm never a fan of any local artiste... i noe it's kinda shooting me in a sense but seriously look at the fun pack song for ndp this year... -_- i dun even wanna talk bout that... embarrassing... and i tot no song could "beat" the yog one by jj lin... wow i was proven wrong... cos now there's a new one to beat that... the lyricist ought to die for embarrassing us and whoever that plagiarized it... GDI!!! MORTIFIED by the whole thing... ok i side tracked now back to derrick hoh... i feel that he improved from his last album... and dance wise he improved alot too... but a sg artiste going to tw to work as a singer yet goes to korea to learn how to dance like those from western countries... nice -_- i dun get it... zen zen wakaranai neh... but overall i really like the song... i think that he's really talented and i expect more from him in the future... glad his company doing much more for him now compared to the last album... just based on the fact tt there's a dance ver and story ver and nice female lead's enuff to prove... HAHA! Clo commented that the choreo's kinda taeyang... but he doesnt have swag... HAHA! and i was like SGeans no swagger de la.. then she eyed me up and down and said "then why's it written all over you?!?" oh pls... dun u noe im one of a kind?!? PUAHAHA!!!



Bubble pop by Hyuna... been awaiting for Hyuna's comeback but was utterly disappointed... she looks like a Lee Hyori rip off, especially in u go girl... and what's up with the attempt of trying to sell sex in a cutesy song? well i admit she's cut out for sexy but she should just stick to that... what's in the mv is really too much... and kinda contradicting... but she might do well la... i bet there's alot of oppas out there who doesnt give a damn so long as they get a bit of icecream for their eyes yea? keke^^

just for laughs... here's a live of her's... is the kicking of the shoes part of the choreo?!? kekeke^^ salute her for her professionalism though...





Break down by Kim Hyun Joong... the first word had me cracking up immediately... shawty? like seriously? well for those who dun noe... shawty's a slang used to describe pretty young girls... but when it comes out of hyunjoong's mouth it just seemed hella weird... the weirdness escalated tremendously when i watched through the mv and the live... one word... AWKWARD! i watched it along with Clo and gang when they were over to keep me company... funny to the max!!! cos we were commenting on every single lil thingy... clo commented it would be a great song to promote push up bras... HAHA!!! im not gonna go into dept and explain it but yea it's kinda obvious... and the hip movement was just... err... yea... HAHA!!! it's just really weird to see him doing that, and he has "awkward" written all over his face... this song's totally like rainXdbsk... yet it can't match up to where they are... like DUH! Rain is Rain neh~ Dbsk is the return of the kings neh~ this is a perfect example of trying too hard... but hey, i was proven wrong cos he won many awards... at least the showing of chest didnt go to waste eh? keke^^ it didnt work for me though... seriously, he could have trained up more... and why didnt anyone applied fake tan on him or something...

onto the live ver...



comeback perf... i chose one with white background one cos it's easier to decipher his moves... he doesnt seem very coordinated somehow...as tho even the small actions like a nod of the head or some swag is part of the choreo... it's awkward... and he hardly sings -_- it's cool how missing a few buttons of his shirt works for fangirls eh? to me, there's nothing much neh... HAHA im hard to please...



the pirates of the caribbean thingy is just -_- im gonna treat it as tho i never saw it... how he entered is so rain... don't like how he accelerates when he says "shawty" weird... i actually feel that he improved since he's first few performances... still he has an awkward stage presence... dancing in that water thingy is so rain once again... like any fan girl or normal girl... the climax has gotta be when he strips... but i think he gotta train and work on his chest, arms, abs and back more... HAHA that's practically everything on upper body right? HAHA!!! well if he's gonna go into this kinda genre... he should... and he's got a good body thickness to start with... some don't even have it... like how donghae use to be... but he still manage to train up... keke^^ oya! ZY! doesnt that move by the dancer at the front round 4:36 look familiar? HAHAHA applause for the dancers! they really work very hard... after all these comments... im sure most of u think im nt his fan yea? wrong! i've always liked him back since 2008...

him singing a classic old song i really like...



his forte... the guitar... and i think he should actually stick to it...



haixx... sad la... at least he still looks cute... HAHA

next up is a chi song by sjm composed by jaychou



fav song outta the sjm mini album! it's v jay chou yea? this vid's fanmade, and i chose it cos there's lyrics... so even if you can't hear wat they're singing... you'll know... it's really hard for them cos of the tempo so be nice! they're Koreans after all... oh! donghae and siwon filmed a taiwan drama... awaiting for it to come out!!! i've always loved hearing donghae speak in chinese...





uber cute and witty! and yes darling i noe your pants are ex... they're friggin jeremy scotts yo! stupid reporter who dares to say JS's old fashion's totally outta her mind... who's the old fashioned one now... cos of the drama filmings, he did not manage to attend many schedules when sjm did their promotions... so yupx... looking forward to donghae acting as a bad guy... some sorta player... for those who read and watched skip beat... you guys shud noe that he's gonna be sho fuwa... ah! my donghae~ keke^^

so anw i said that i was watching jap vids ytd right? and of cos, i did watch a huge load of yamapi stuff... and i once again got stuck on a song he published in 2009 -_- since i have a habit of listening to music while i sleep... i had it on all night and till today im still playing it when im out and about... stuck on it... i can't find the mv on youtube so here's the live...



finally found a vid that he performed the full song... uploaded just today by some user... and this was with minimum backing track... so proud of him!!! he use to lip sync if he needs to dance when he was younger... this was in 2006? *fangirl mode:AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!* keke^^



i guess everyone does... anw back to Loveless... it's kinda westernized eh? but yea he went to LA for this album prep, filmin of mv, dance lessons, so that explains... loved him since he was a johnny's jr... like when i was p6? till today he's still my ideal guy, physical appearance that is... i used to like his character too... but i guess with japs, they tend to change alot upon reaching a certain age... v reserved and quiet... unlike Koreans whom are more open and free? that's why it's donghae for me right now :p still, i can't help but swoon whenever i watch his stuff... but lately im kinda hating his music... stupid lyrics and the whole westernized thingy... miss the time when he would compose his own songs and write his own lyrics...



this was composed in 2005... he was 19 and scrawny looking? :p this was how i get to know and love him... HAHAHA



this has to be my fav perf of his! composed by him in 2007 and performed in 2008... and i love what he's wearing too... till today, these clips and random clips of him are still in my phone... i hope the old yamapi would come back, but that's kinda like wishful thinking... guess that's how the world's turning into now eh? sad... oh! and from this i can safely say that im nt the kinda fangirl who goes for hot bods first... HAHA cos i started liking both yamapi and donghae when they used to be much scrawnier... they just miraculously heard my wishes and buffed up :p *wishful thinking* but whatever it is, it came true... HAHAHA!!!

so anw... i think im done ^^ blogging for ages... it'll be awhile until my next post which is similar in content :p this is damn tiring... and im sure i've missed out a few good music... RAWR! whatever... u guys shud do ur own research!!! HAHAHA!!!

i've got photoshoot for the weekends... and Bradley's sure to gonna scream at me if he noes im still up at this hr when there's work tmrw... he coming to SG especially for me :p since the places in SG is really limited, i guess we're just doing a studio white screen shoot? shouldnt be too tiring, just the lights would be really irritating... and it'll be for summer clothing collection... bet they'll be alot of smiling, huge gestures and cutesy shit which i hate... i like autumn shoots the best... there's this gray area feeling that you have to evoke... darker but not to the extent of winter... more challenging, yet closer to my character and style :p when Bradley called to inform me of the job i was estatic... who would say no to money right? keke^^ and i told him "guess my food poisoning came at the right time, now i don't need to worry bout fasting before the shoot..." and i got told off by him saying why do i need to fast in the first place... i was joking... i dun fast... im just careful as to what i eat before shoots... so that it doesnt break me out and such... and of cos exercise and what not... how can there be no preperations right? and these totally proves that Bradley never photoshops my pics ^^ he'll always say "if photoshop has to be done, why am i needed as the photographer?" HAHA cocky much?!? and at times he'll grumble when i get bruises from dance... that's like the only thing he'll photoshop from my photos... and the other time when i was doing my own... i had like the super big bruise that i had to photoshop for every single pic... now i noe why u grumbled... HAHA im sorry... but i cant help it :p k la really should turn in le... i guess i'll be gone for awhile... till the next post... zzZZZZ

xoxo

big thanks and credits goes to all the youtube uploaders!!! too many to credit :p THANKYOU!!!

hey peeps... short update before i zone off... just wanna say that im officially sick :'( boohoo... i was sipping on some milk last night while i was blogging, hoping it'll aid in my slp when im done... not only did it not aid in anything, it caused me to puke and have the runs in the middle of the night, like at 3 in the morning... i jotted awake cos i was in grave pain... bad bad bad stomachache which feels like gastritis... maybe it is... i dunno... had some painkillers and went back to bed... fortunately the painkillers knocked me out... and i managed to fall asleep despite all the discomfort...

was unconscious till around nn... totally bailed on a lunch date with some friends... and was replying to their calls ensuring a rain check sometime soon while still in bed :p was suppose to meet them at 12.30 orchard... like how was i gonna do that when im still in bed at nn... and i wouldnt have an appetite anw... not to mention i might puke in public or something... HAHA not a glamourous sight at all, not gonna risk that...

i literally stayed in bed for the whole day... felt terrible throughout and i still am now... weak and all... planning to just lie in bed right now and stare into space cos im feeling really sick... think anyone who's gonna come into my room's gonna freak out seeing me like this... so yup... dun have the strength to go to the gp... not to mention take a bus and mrt out to the polyclinic... im onto self treating... it'll be fine, and hopefully i'll feel all better by tmrw cos im meeting Sunny to hang around NEX... never been there... was really looking forward to getting sogurt there... but i should totally lay off the dairy products for awhile eh? :'( oh crap! does that mean no dessert for me?!? oh god, i can't believe this... :'( oh well... to sum it up... INEFFICIENT DAY!!! and i hate it! haixx... gonna go stare into space now...

xoxo

hey peeps... yea im blogging but it's gonna be a wordy one, hardly any valuable content... a rough update of what i've been up to :p well nothing much... most of the time bored... to the extent where i start texting my frens... "life is meaningless" HAHA!!! got various reactions... immediate phone calls from couple of worried frens and text replies came in an endless stream... and my answer was "im dying... ... of boredom..." I MEANT IT! like seriously but of cos i got a dressing down from a few :p i noe u guys love me ^^ thank you~ keke^^

this had me rmbr the time when ZC was still in sg years ago... i texted him something along the same line and he immediately called back and start lashing qns at me... "what's going on? is something wrong? are you ok? hurt? fine? where the %^&^%#$%^ are you? what the..." i interrupted him with "im bored..." and he hung up on me :p then in comes a text "i can't believe you..." HAHA!!! apparently he was in a meeting... but rushed out immediately and was already reaching his car... i love this impulsive fella... HAHAHA!!! well it really isnt a prank... tho i knew this kinda thing would happen :p but i wasnt lying either, it just didnt sound v positive :p Fortunately for me, i know that my frens couldnt stay mad at me for too long :p and i'd always get away with it in the end keke^^ thx guys...

so anw, being the workaholic i am... i feel like im wasting time by not doing anything productive... and that's when i gave myself some projects to work on... retarded eh? like what i did in the past sch year wasnt enuff... HAHA i started drawing again... painted... designing random stuff... and now im currently working on my fashion blog... which i intend to republish from scratch by deleting past posts which are mainly homework based... quite alot of planning to be done actually... so yea... that's what i've been up to lately... and of cos i still hang out alot with my frens... oh! i just made a new fren through my ex and he's FRENCH!!! never had one before... ppl aren't lying when they claim the french are more passionate... seriously like who greets kissing one THREE times on the cheeks? i doubt any country does it like thrice... two, one on each side is more than enuff no? correct me if im wrong... it's kinda cool and i swear i can listen to him talk all day~ HAHA im totally a sucker for accents... ESPECIALLY BRIT ENG!!! *swoons* keke^^ used to make my ex talk in brit eng instead of american :p well he's born in the US but he's grandfather's from england so he's really good at it... he doesnt mind anw, so why not? HAHAHA!!! Logan and i brought my new fren around sg, cos he's here on a holi and he's crashing at L's... spent so much time with them to the extent that i think my accent improve when im speaking perfect english :p cos if i dun, they wouldnt be able to catch on to what im saying... just like how it is in school... i totally shocked the hell outta my frens when i received a phone call while hanging out with them... [oh i gotta mention this first... Clo and gang came over to SG to keep me company for a weekend... sweet or what?!? ^^] it was some chinese shit from a private no. [remind me why i hate picking up calls from unknown no. RAWR!] i didnt bother listening to the person over the phone and i just went american and said "sorry i don't speak chinese" and hung up... nick was like "woah... where did that come from?!? who are you?!?" HAHA!!! i gotta be convincing right? keke^^

so anw Clo was pestering me with stupid stuff like why do i go for caucasians and blah blah... seriously i have to reemphasize this! it's not on purpose like i ONLY go for caucasians -_- it just so happens... i came to a conclusion that ones with initiative attracts me and that caucasians, or should i say the ones i meet, tend to be more initiative... for example in the states, if someone were to faint in public and you were to call out "somebody call for the ambulance" ppl actually do fish out their phone and call... while in SG, either they "THINK" somebody else's gonna call and just wait or they just pretend they can't see nor hear... having initiative is really impt... simple gestures like ordering the movie tix before hand, making reservations, thought bout where we could possibly go before hand just brings it up to a higher notch... for me that is... cos it shows that the guy values, thinks and cares bout you even before the date...

then Clo went on bout how i should try dating a younger guy... as usual... the thing is!!! im only 18... why would i wanna date a minor? Clo's definition of a younger guy is still older than me -_- she claims that dating a younger guy is better for some random reasons like they listen and heed better which leads me to think if that's what you want out of a relationship you might as well get a dog... HAHAHA!!! but well who am i to judge right? she's happy and that's what matters... besides, her guy looks older :p but cute lah... HAHA! i can't help but raise an eyebrow whenever i see or hear some girl dating a younger guy... best example would be Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher... like for god's sake it's Ashton!!! He can have all the girls in the world but he gave it up for one 15 years older than him, married and divorce twice before marrying him and already have 3 daughters... -_- don't understand...

LS totally agree on this with me... yet at the same time she dislikes me dating older guys... im always saying "Dear sunny, young cannot, old oso cannot, ridiculous and difficult much?" and she'll always be like "dunno la, i must see who first -_-" and just recently, she told me " the french guy you just met can... cos he's french..." HAHAHA!!! too bad, intro-ed by my ex... it'll be weird if anything were to go on from where we are... so nah, if possible i'll intro him to you instead yea? keke^^

talking bout younger guys... recently i checked facebook and all the silly messages that im used to getting... but what irks me most is that a junior of mine from cchy asked me out on a date through FACEBOOK -_- no-no no.1: he's from cchy which is against my rule of no dating of peeps in sch, in this case it also applies to sch's i've graduated from... no-no no.2: he's younger... no-no no.3: FACEBOOK?!? are you friggin kiddin me?!? i dunno if i should feel angry or relieved he didnt post it on my wall [that would have been really embarrassing, and totally tainting my wall :p] and instead chose to send me a private msg on FB... he's like "hey when are you free? i wanna date you" -_- and when i didnt reply he sent another few days later "so when's our date? you choose the date and i'll make time^^" !@#%^&*(*&^%# disgusted to the max... how could someone be so shameless and feel so good bout oneself tt i'll oblige? deleted him off my fb immediately after i read that msg^^ im cool like that~ ^^

oh! on Sunday night, when i was on my way home on the train... there was this drunk man seated beside me... he's the kind who couldnt control his head and legs when aslp... totally like an MJ wannabe... he was literally leaning 45deg... instead of leaning 45 deg forward... he was going sideways and on me... HATE THIS KINDA IDIOT! and his legs keep falling wider and wider getting into my personal space and leaning against mine... i sat forward in my seat and he fell onto mine and jotted awake.. but this freak just doesnt know what the hell's once bitten twice shy... cos soon enuff he just went back to the same thing... i was holding it in badly, so tempted to punch him in the face or kick him where the sun don't shine... that'll surely wake him up... i was literally suffocating too cos he reeked of cheap beer... disgusting! soon, i could no longer tolerate it and i just stood up... leaving him taking up 2 seats -_- pissed off to the max but at that pt... a caucasian motioned to give his seat up for me... i insisted that i don't need it and thanked him... but he gave it up anw to some other person and stood beside me... seriously is not i bias lo... HAHA... LS was saying that the gentlemanly factor's just there in caucasians... it's in the way they were brought up... so true...

i havent been sleeping well for awhile now... i grew desperate to the extent of a phase round a week ago that i tried drowning myself with alcohol like some old sad person... trying to get myself some uninterrupted sleep... it didnt work... and on some days i'll just have hangovers from it -_- interesting thing was i met LS one day for an afternn movie... i normally prefer morning movies but she has sch... so yea... and so after the movie, she gotta go back home to fin on a proj... and i was really tired so i planned to go home and try to get myself to sleep... passing on a party nick was holding that night... so anw i was in the supermarket trying to get some alcohol and i ran into an old friend of mine... one i knew from way back... it's cool ^^ we were paying for our stuff and the cashier asked for my age and my IC -_- it's fine... im kinda use to it, with the face i have... so yea answered her but she wanted my IC anw, doubting my words... but the thing is SHE COULDNT COUNT!!! and im not even saying bout mental cal... cos she took out a piece of paper and wrote a working equation... 2011-1993=??? and she totally couldnt get an answer... delaying the queue behind me in the process... in the end she looked up at me and asked "18 right?" i was fuming!!! oh so now that you failed at counting you're gonna believe when i said im 18? then why didnt you just take it when i told u the first time u asked without having to trouble me into fishing out my IC?!? i don't give a damn if she embarrasses herself, but she's embarrassing me in the process too!!! i didnt even bother to answer and i just scoffed... hoping that with my black face adding on to that scoff... she'll get the message... fortunately, she's smart enuff to detect my foul mood... My fren who was waiting for me came up to the cashier to find out what's the prob... and when she did she was like "oh please... she shouldnt be worried bout your age... i bet she haven't even finished highschool when you started drinking" -_- sidenote... i doubt she even graduated highschool :p but anw i replied that she was exaggerating... cos the cashier didnt look young to begin with :p then my fren refreshed my memory of me drinking a bottle of my father's XO when i was lil and gullible... i totally didnt noe what it was, i just knew i was thirsty and i didnt want to drink plain water... to me, at that point of time... the bottle was really pretty and i took it out of the display cabinet and drank it... my dad was furious! if i didnt rmbr wrongly, i got caned -_- it's like a collection thingy... im not sure... really pricy i guess... but seriously it's such a waste anw... collecting dust in the cabinet... as to how my fren knew bout it... she use to come over to my house often when we were younger and my mum just loves telling stories like how i drank a bottle of XO, how i ate a huge chilli in the decoration bowl on the dinner table of a restaurant cos i was hungry and such... so yea back to what my fren said... i guess she's right :p

kkaes i think im done with my random post... and looking back on what i've type... i totally seemed pretty screwed up this holiday eh? lolx... whatever it is... im actually feeling fine, cept for the boredom and lack of uninterrupted slp... oh! nick said i grew fairer... dang it! worst comment ever! so anw, im gonna end this post with a note i came across today... i think it's really fitting in some stuff i seem to always face and im so for it... here goes...

"I have curves, so im fat. I wear makeup, so I'm fake. If I like to get dressed up, I'm a hoochie. If I say what i think, I'm a bitch. If I cry sometimes, I'm a drama queen. If I have guy friends, I'm a slut. If I stand up for myself, I'm mouthy. Seems like you can't do anything nowadays without being labeled. So what, go ahead and label me, see if I give a shit."

night peeps ^^

xoxo

Hey peeps~ random post cos i have nothing to do now :p been staying home reading, having movie marathons these days... boring but it's my fav past time... totally bailed outta the crochet crap i started awhile ago... well i really wanna finish crocheting the scarf, but yea... we'll see... HAHA! and yes for all u peeps raising your eyebrows out thr... i know how to crochet and knit... granny thing to do, but hey! im going into fashion so what's a surprise right?

so anw on Sunday, went to pick HL up from the airport and i was late :p lil late... i know it's kinda ridiculous that the person picking someone up from the airport being late and all... but well, i took the bloody train and had to switch train 3 times cos i was riding on the circle line... and besides, it's HL... so err... he'll forgive me~ keke^^ im really glad he's taking it all well and he seems fine... treated me to pizza and we talked alot... well he was trying to get me all upset by saying that i look like a small girl girl cos i got a haircut since the last time he saw me... it's just bangs... and not that he didnt saw me in bangs before... but wateva... it kinda failed cos i couldnt be bothered bout it... nothing new... then he went on saying that i totally have a mentality of a 25 year old... RAWR!!! and he totally aint kidding bout this... he reasoned that it's cos i've got my paths all planned out and thought bout my future thoroughly and what not... and i was like arent all peeps suppose to do that? but he carried on saying that few know what they want in life so early, some don't even bother finding out at all throughout their lives... and of cos he brought up other examples of how i seem more mature... whatever it is... it got me... cos i wanted to strangle him over the table and smack that smirk off his face... HAHA but me being nice, decided i should let it go... keke^^ he accompanied me till it was time for me to leave and meet my family for movie... since it's father's day right?

i kinda combined father's day and mother's day together to make it up to my mum... watched green lantern and it was AWESOME!!! damn do i love Ryan Reynolds! HAHAHA! and Blake Lively! i've been longing to watch this since like forever! def one of my fav characters outta the marvel collection... cept for the cheesy name... lantern -_- before that day, bro told dad bout the plan of us watchin it tgt... and the next day, dad came into my room telling me we're gonna go watch a movie tgt he was like... "what's the movie's name? green something..." i was bout to interrupt him with the name but he beat me to it by saying "green torchlight ah?!?" PUAHAHA!!! it had me rolling on my bed laughing so hard that i almost hyperventilated... lesson learnt! a name's very important, think it through thoroughly to prevent jokes... keke^^ or maybe that just happens with my dad... dined and that marks the end of the week...

slacked around through mon and today, cept for evenings... dinner with the ex... but all's well... Nick emailed me asking why i hadnt gone into M'sia to visit... well parent's been very uptight bout me traveling recently... i dunno why they care bout it now yet couldnt care less bout it when i was younger... it's ridiculous... and the recent commotion bout the happening at the custom is just the cherry on top... NOT! totally makes matters worst and made my mum all paranoid bout how it isnt safe for me to go in alone... seriously mum it isnt safe anywhere cos you know what? NEWSFLASH i might fall to my death right at our doorstep~ well i know she's worried and all, but seriously i cant emphasize enuff that if something were to gonna happen to me... IT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHENEVER WHEREVER!!! so yupx im stuck in SG!!! so much for a holiday... went on emailing Nick bout what's been up lately... told him tt Logan's in sg, my ex, and that we've been hanging out... he totally harped on the issue bout how my future bf's gonna feel bout it... lolx nothing, cos there's nothing my friend... i absolutely do not know why recently people has been VERY concern bout my love life... should i even call it love life? scratch that... relationships... yea... TOO CONCERN! so much so that i think im the weird one... cos me being the protagonist *duh it's called MY LIFE for a reason* aint that concern as compared to them... luckily Nick carried on by telling me to ask L to visit them sometime... as well as to battle out with them... it's been awhile since they got together not to mention break together... i really wanna be there to watch them but nah, definitely not gonna happen anytime soon with my parents breathing down my neck bout safety issues -_- on the bright side... i feel that i've actually got normal parents right now... whoopdeedoo... wrong timing much -_-

so yupx, not much happened... without dance, life seems pathetically boring... ironically, with dance, there wun be life either... cos, if it isnt school, it's dance... lolx... oh! siqi texted me that she got hiphop head... congratulated her, but seriously, i knew she'll get it... like get real, who else? whatever it is, i just hope her passion remains and that she'll stay smart to steer away from bad influences... it would be a huge waste if an amazing dancer were to get corrupted by some commercial studio mindset...

random bout something i just rmbred like at this second... HAHA! some time back i met up with some friends... and during our conversation i said, "众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊处。" i forgot what exactly made me bring this phrase up, but i did and everyone stared at me with their eyes and mouth wide open... seriously, i dunno whether to feel happy that i managed to stun people with my chinese or to feel insulted that they actually think that my chinese suck big time... they all commented how they're taken aback and stuff but seriously it's just a line from 青玉案·元夕 what's the big wuha? people just dun get the diff with not good-at-it-hence-dun-like-it and hate-it-but-good-at-it... it just so happens that im the latter...

another example is when i tell peeps that i just spent hours reading a book and they shoot me the surprise look... i know that many feels that im bimbotic and actually im flattered by that comment, i actually do prefer spending my friday nights in starbucks reading a book rather then out having fun and risk having a bloody hangover on saturday morning... well i get offended at times, but now i've just become numb cos people who judge and comment just dun look at themselves in the mirror... like that ridiculous person in DI... HAHA! some people might noe who it is ^.~ but i dun really wanna advertise their names here... they should pay me to do so~ HAHA!!! what irks me is that i've never denied that im not, but who the @#%^&^% are they to judge?!? simply dun even hv the slightest decency to keep their mouths shut... or at least make an effort to say it BEHIND MY BACK not in my ears... and funny thing is one totally just choke on their own words by doing the exact same thing they claim bout me herself... and the other decided that i was his friend and sent me a friend request on facebook... cute or what?!? too bad i have high standards even for the people i choose to befriend on facebook... no shame!!! runs in the family genes i guess... oh!!! major thing that disgust me is when i for once wore a cropped top for prac cos i left my shirt at home and guess what?!? for the next few pracs she's wearing cropped top to dance @#%^&^%#@#%^&# stay kind V... think in the sense of a fashion trendsetter... HAHAHA!!! great sense of satisfactory cos it's an outcome of my carelessness of forgetting my shirt... even more pathetic that i didnt even try~ :p i'll applaud her for her courage to attempt but failed terrible then~ im nice... kekeke^^ irritating to the max!

oh well~ shall stop the bitching... nothing else... i should do it the devil wears prada way...

THAT'S ALL~

keke^^

xoxo

hey peeps! this is gonna be a short one! I PASS MY FOUNDATION YEAR!!! HERE I COME LEVEL1 FASHION!!! keke^^ yup i received my results ytd, yet there's no one to share this with :'( HAHA! nah~ emailed LS and HL immediately, and they replied! HL congratulated me and he's gonna treat me to lunch when i go pick him up tmrw while sunny being the mean and evil one commented "it's an of cos thingy that you'll pass-_-" and went on toking bout all the things i missed out cos i didnt join them in thailand! and attached this annoying picture to piss me off!

lolx but she said she'll get me a congratulatory gift ^^ along with the other stuff i asked her to hlp me get... kekeke^^

so who's the first person i celebrated with then? my last 2nd ex -_- it sounds really weird saying that or typin that... he's the one that Vian always refers to as a fling... IT'S REALLY NOT! it was way back, got together when he was over here for summer holidays and things ended nicely when he had to go back... i cn safely say that what we had was just merely friendship... him being a bboy is totally the cherry on top kekeke^^ so anw i invited him to come watch UNI but unfortunately he only arrives this afternoon... was totally pissed bout it and was complaining why cant he come like a week earlier... well he had some visiting to do in other country so yea... whatever... told him bout my results and he suggested he'll treat me to a homecooked dinner... was reluctant cos he just got off the plane, but he insisted... oh well... so went back to his place to put down his luggage, got his car and went grocery shopping... seriously, it's been years and he's gentlemanliness is still the same, it might have even turned for the worse... HAHA! he offered to carry all the bags and yet still insisted in opening the doors for me -_- caucasians -_- didnt resist cos i rmbred the time we fought over something as stupid as me opening the car door on my side- to let myself out fast cos i was hungry and ready to dash into the restaurant- instead of waiting for him to walk over and open it for me... stupid rite? word of advice, caucasians are really particular bout their manners! just let them be~ oh well, it puts his great muscle mass to good use anw... so why bother right? HAHA! after that, had some time before dinner, so we watched a movie, then he started cooking... he's darn good!!! it's like this 5 course meal with a twist... cos i dun eat salad :p i felt bad that he's doing all the work and wanted to help, but he's like chasing me outta the kitchen... so all i did was just stood by the side and start teasing him bout how the aggressive bboy i knew before's turning into a california home boy keke^^ dinner was awesome! wanted to wash the dishes but he took it all away before i can... reminding me that it's a congratulatory celebration for me and that i shouldnt budge... slacked around and then he sent me home... took quite awhile cos he didnt quite noe the way back to my new house... so yupx... that's how my first celebration for passing foundation went... with my ex -_-

oh! yesterday, i met up with my secondary school besties in my class... it's been really long since i last saw them... DUH busy me as always... had a great time shopping and chatting with them... what irks me is how when the gossip's starting during dinner, they're like "so V, what's the new drama in your life?" WTH! like confirm have drama like tt... tho they're right... it still irks me somehow... RAWR! then the next big qns is "are you attached right now?" and it turned into a bet sorta game between them and my answer was put on hold -_- all in all, there was alot to catch up on each of them... and i felt really detached from them in terms of the life im living right now... cos school for me and them's totally different... activities we're into are also different... people we meet are also of different kind... a simple example would be them still tokin bout "boys" while im talking bout "men"... once again, feeling old... tho im definitely NOT THE OLDEST in the clique... but oh well... had fun! and was reluctant to bid them goodbye, cos i seriously dunno when's the next time we'll meet... but we will, i'll try... HAHA!

HL's coming back tmrw... picking him up cos i think he really needs a fren by him right now to tide over this difficult time... i hope he's feeling fine... missed my peeps!!! a'ight off to sleep, gotta wake up early and head down to the airport... nitex peeps!

xoxo

PS: 1 year down... 3 more to go~ im still thinking whether to make it 4 years or not... we'll see...

Hey peeps! finally an update bout my dance life! let's start with the negativities shall we? UNI2011 is over and im left with very complicated and mixed feelings... first up i would like to say that im disappointed in myself... i screwed up in my final performance... !@#$%^&*&^#@% yes i deserve all the jeering and tight slaps... seriously, i can just bang the wall... friday's was fine... sunday was... ... ok u guys get the point... so anw... NOT HAPPY!!! don't bother telling me that it's fine and what not... cos it's TOTALLY NOT FINE!!! many consoled me bout it, but sorry guys, the more consolation i get, the more i think im an idiot... i can't believe i blanked... a mistake i've never made at all during pracs... as tho tio possess lo... what happen to my "treat every performance as though it's the last?" and i really did decide for it to be the last... goddamnit V you're an idiot... now i can't retire!!! super bu gan xin neh!!! sianx ttm... aiya gonna put that at the back of my mind for now... so that i cn continue with this post... if nt there's not gonna be an end to it :p

so anw... this year, dance has been extremely stressful... *pft what's new right?* to the extent that it didnt seem like i enjoyed dancing... i bet i've mentioned this on my blog or to ppl around me countless times... and that ppl are tired bout me complaining bout losing drive and so on... im not asking for ppl to understand me... cos no one will and can unless you're me and i seriously dun bother explaining every explicit detail of my workload at school... maybe i should post up the list of things i did for the entire school year onto my blog... hmm... nah lazy, thrs just too much and for what...

this year... dance seemed to become a "wrong thing" to do... people around me often turn to blame "dance" for every single prob i face... parents got uptight about me spending sleepless nights rushing my homework but yet spending an entire day at dance then back home burning midnight oil continuing with work... hence start naggin and blaming dance for it... lecturers start to get worried bout my work and started to voice out that im juggling too much, hence blaming dance for it... oh ya! yet they offered me double major... ironic much... friends worried bout my well being turn to blame dance for draining my energy and for causing more strain on my health... insensitive acquaintances blame dance for making me too busy to meet up with them -_- im always hearing "it's dance again isnt it?" and "...because of dance lo~" no matter how i try to pretend tt all these doesnt get to me... it still does... and that causes alot of unhappiness as it made me think why can't ppl see that im working extremely hard in both areas that i love... and that given some born-with-probs im still trying to stay strong, live with it and continue the passion tt i once had... maybe it's too much to ask for, but all i yearn is some honest words of encouragement once in a while to help pull me through hard times... i honestly think that i deserved it as i've worked the hardest i've ever had in both areas this year...

on top of all tt, my insensitive bro goes ballistic bout me turning down a job a chanel's... well it's not fully for dance... i mean yea, i cnt possibly apply leaves to go to pracs when i just joined the company... and besides, it's chanel we're tokin bout... if i were to get in, i want to be able to focus fully on it and to give my best... another simple reason is that i deserved a break... it took me quite an effort to give that up and even more effort blocking out complains bout my decision from insensitive loved ones... people just never get it, they think they do... BUT THEY DONT! i might seem fine cos of it, but nobody could tell the internal war i fought when coming to decisions like this... well you might say it's cos i dun say it, but what good would it do for me to have it imprinted on my forehead or bitch bout it to everyone? i wanted a pat on my head but not outta sympathy... as usual, life doesnt always give what you want...

Overall, im having internal conflicts on how i feel bout UNI this year... im really satisfied with the choreo this year, yet im not satisfied -_- yea i noe what bullshit rite? well im satisfied cos i feel that my reason as to why im dancing this year has been justified and that WE did justice to the song :p on the other hand im not satisfied cos im not in the entire item... to put it more bluntly, i dun feel shuang just dancing for 2mins plus... but yet again it sounds like bullshit cos i cnt even handle 2mins plus not to mention more... i hope yall dun take it as tho im too full of myself but i have to confess that im an extremely egoistic dancer... and that's precisely the reason why i work hard to improve in order to secure and have a tight reign on my spot in the first place... several practices caused some mental instabilities for me... nt that im blaming anyone, it's really just me... i can't stand to be by the side not being able to participate in modern... i can't stand to be standing in for someone, a place that doesnt belong to me and that i'll have to return... i can't stand to admit that i no longer can do what i could before even though it's a fact that's smacked right into my face whether i like it or not... it didnt occur to me at first until my back started to hurt kinda badly when i subconsciously attempted stuff that i could no longer do... this might sound as though im crazy, but i feel that it'll be more ridiculous if im ok with it... i mean get real, any dancer in the right mind would want to fight for a spot... who in the world will be satisfied with just staying on the sidelines? *ok scratch tt, nt true, as i witnessed such self proclaimed "dancers" who takes things for granted* i admit that i envied my fellow dancers... and that there were many times that saddened me just by onlooking... fortunately, these negativities turn into positive drive... a drive that gives me no reason to not work hard for my small part... and that given lesser task as compared to the others... i would not be able forgive myself if i were to screw it up... *yes and i did on sun GDI!!! :'(*

as to whether i've grown this year... i guess i've grown to be a responsible dancer... not that im the most responsible person out thr but i've learnt to foresee problems that might surface and learnt to solve them... regardless for myself or for others... once again there are rough times when it comes to working with new dancers... but i cant help but think maybe im the one that's putting expectiations that are too high on others... and that i shouldnt be so hard on them as i do to myself... at times, i'll get irritated and even taken aback by how they see things... or shud i say, how they "don't see" things... lolx! and maybe im just more gan jiong than the rest... but seriously, they have NO SENSE OF URGENCY AT ALL!!! *or shud i say that they have a RETARDED sense of urgency? that sets in like a week before the perf?* so i guess it's more like im too much and they're too little... two extremities kinda situation... so i can't really blame them la... oh well... latest one would be how they treat my cosmetics ba... haixx nvm it's trivia... dun really wanna explain anymore... let's just say that i now have reasons to restock on whatever i have :p

oh! im really taken aback by the fact that when they encounter with problems... they're fine to leave it as it is... and not do anything bout it? yes and the nosy me will go about trying to clean up their shit... extremely shocked that i have to spoon feed them as tho they're little kids... it makes me look like a mean old lady trying to make them sound stupid and gullible... but seriously, if i dun break things up and put it in simpler terms... THEY JUST WONT GET IT!!! times like this i really would like to give myself a tight slap... to say it in a nasty way... guan wo pi shi... nosy as ever... i just like to get myself involved in probs that aint mine... seriously for what lo?!? good going V -_-

though the process's rough at times due to stupx probs... the outcome's always sweet... just that few minutes on stage is enough for me, and it totally outweigh all negativities and shit i've faced... that few precious minutes which i worked hard for... that few precious minutes which made me feel alive... that few precious minutes that made me realized i've lived life to the fullest... i can never describe exactly how i feel bout it... and i guess that's what makes it so precious to me... so precious to the extent that giving it up seems impossible... to add a cherry on top... getting positive feedbacks from people just makes it even more awesome... the most epic one would have to be shibin who's been commenting since months ago... starting out with the dance looks nice to the dance being super crazy... it's funny how he'd come up to me giving me the shock face asking how i could squeeze so many dance steps in such a short time... epic phrase from him that goes something like this "wah ni zhen de hen li hai neh... wo de just xiao xiao jiu can liao, yours damn crazy lo... how to do one..." then he went on imitating the precision part HAHAHA!!! simple comments like this never fails to make me feel that all's worth it... thx man! and for the pep talk on sun...

Once again im thankful to ZY... i noe you're getting bored of my lines but it's true... im thankful that you're still willing to give me the opportunity to shine and grow... cos honestly im like wu jia ke gui... no choreographer in the right mind would want a dancer with defects... and at times, im a royal pain in the ass when it comes to giving my opinions :p ok maybe at all times :p you've worked very hard, done a great job and the production went well! i sincerely hope that you've had a great time dancing along us and that all shit seems worth it... cos dancing together with you is a totally new experience and should i say a dream come true? nah tt sounds too much :p just imagine if laoshi dances with you a'ight? HAHA i wanna believe that you know me well enuff and will spare me the agony of saying cheesy and mushy stuff... u noe me de la hor~ keke^^

and yet again im grateful that i have siqi by my side... never fails to gear me up... she's really a darling... after UNI she text'd me claiming that there's alot to learn from me as well as thanking me once again for being her motivation, but seriously this goes both ways girl... and i felt really depressed that UNI's gonna be our last performance tgt... was like telling her where am i gonna find another motivation, and that she's irreplaceable... seriously, she's damn awesome and i feel fortunate to have worked with her twice! yet greedy me never fails to yearn for another time... oh well, one can always dream~

through all shit... i discovered people whom are really concern about me... as usual im thankful that LS has been by me through the entire roller coaster ride... school, dance and personal relations... i believe it's always a bitch to hear me complain, but she's always thr for me... tho foul mouthed... cos she'll say "life's a bitch, so learn to f*ck it" XD but i really appreciate it :p lately LS's been really into snail mailing crap to me... she sent me this months ago...

yupx it's some chocolate frm dunno which country... it caused a big wuha with my mum as she tot someone sent me a condom judging from the pressed square outline of the box on the envelope -_- when i opened it, i was all happy thinking it was chocolate but guess what!!! this was what's inside... *well the main point is actually the words in black la... the others are just nonsense from her -_-*

stressing me out months before UNI!!! thanks arh sunny... u succeeded! *clap clap* even though it irritates me ttm when i found no chocolate... im actually grateful that i have such an annoying friend who keeps check on me now and then... and of cos she came to watch, along with Hsinlu! ^^ Jen couldnt make it cos she was hospitalized after getting hit by some crazy dude on the train... i was so worried for her... and yet she still text me some words of encouragement before my perf while in the hospital... Thx girl... and im really thankful cos she planned to come watch me despite needing to fly off to china in like 3am that night... she felt really apologetic for not being able to come in the end but i assured her that it was fine... of cos it was, it's not like she didnt try, she's just darn suay that day... fortunately, she was able to leave for china, if not there goes her fyp... once again, thx girl...

i was kinda stressed out with the presence of HL cos firstly, he's not a dancer, so i dunno how he'll view the entire thing... and secondly, he's never seen me dance -_- yes stupid idiot sleeps most of the time in school... he's hardly ever awake for any school events going on back in cchy... and even if he had seen me dance before, im sure he never saw me in this genre... so yea, it's scary cos i dunno what he expects... he keeps telling me that even if i screw it wouldnt matter cos he's there to support me... well since i noe he's always very positive bout what i do *like duh rite? he dare be negative meh?!? XD* i told him before hand that he has to give me feedbacks... and not the normal "ok lo, good as usual... " kinda comment... obviously im making things difficult for him, and after perf i was buggin him bout him... he told me he needed time to think and that he'll text me later that night... and he did! saying "Vanessa, i know less bout dancing but maybe your jacket hinders your movement, like your body movements seemed less obvious... it's nice to see you dance ^^ 超有魅力！" kekeke^^ cute or what? he totally wrecked his brains coming up with a feedback... and an honest one... then i found out that he was suppose to go back to taiwan... but yet came for my perf :') just like LS who postponed her Thailand trip just for me! ^^ AND! HL had school from 8 to 6 that day, while LS skipped cheer... I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! i was also worried bout whether the production will be worth 15bucks and hence when i asked... LS and Celia said just for out item, it was definitely worth it, and HL said that just for me it's worth more than that... kekeke^^ HAPPY~ once again i have to say LEONG HEIHEI!!! WHERE ARE YOU AH?!? two of them come and support me le! LEFT YOU!!! should banish you from our world!!! RAWR!!! :p

so anw, HL left for taiwan yesterday and LS's leaving for thailand today, while heihei's already in mongolia :'( i'll be so lonely!!! met and hang out with LS yesterday... it's the first after UNI i think... and i was like reading through her journal... yes we both keep journals... like scrapbook thingy... a habit i got from GM classes when i started LASALLE and yup she tot it's fun and got more into it as compared to me... so anw it's nth private... so we dun mind ppl reading it... anw... i saw this... which was dated a few weeks before UNI

yes my fren's totally an adrenaline junkie who's nuts bout stunts... so anw we talked bout UNI again... she commented that the whole concept was v put together... and that there was a visible improvement from AHA... and HENCE she's expecting more for the upcoming AHA -_- as for the dance, she commented that she feels it lacked moqi and the stunts are not up thr... lil slips here and there are a pity... for modern, the best part for her would be the energy transfer part... she said it's great along with the lightings... and as for cool shit, it was cool shit... HAHA!!! then i ask her how's the cool shit for the other two guys and she was like "got other guys?!? i din see them dance neh... only saw your choreographer... which means..." lolx! evil much! ppl prac v hard neh!!! then she went on asking "if they're not up to standard, why ask them to stage it?" and i was like dumbfounded... cos she meant that, since the dancers aren't ready, why go on stage... then i was like "might as well ask my choreographer to do a solo suan le" and she totally shut me up by replying "why not? then wedding dress just the front 3 of u lo..." funny sunny... then she went on talking bout how it's a pity that we can't find better dancers... nt that im all that good... but yea... i shud say, dancers with the right attitude ba... ok i sound cocky saying this too... ahh whatever... then she ended off by saying and smirking "capable of better la V, so AHA hor..."

so anw this was in her journal last year...

and this is for UNI this year...

*cough cough* somebody better stay down to earth and not float around kkaes? you know who you are~ HAHA!!! oh! and she kept buggin me to bug ZY to dance in the upcoming AHA -_- im not as irritatin as u sunny... and we went on talking bout whether i'll be dancing AHA... she was like "don't join lo... complain so much... don't join la~" giving me some stupid face... then she went on "you can't stay away de la V.. you know even if shit happens you still cant give it up de... so why bother yourself by thinking so deep into it... you'll still join in the end anw" seriously it's annoying how im like so friggin indecisive bout it... i've decided to stop once and for all, but after friday night, whatever i've thought and weighed beforehand goes flushing down the toilet and im left with the huge dilemma once again... to make things more difficult, i screwed sunday's perf... how am i gonna live with that being my final dance?!? and michelle even threw me a "u jump i jump" situation... thx... lolx... so on sunday night im like, ok not retiring with this shit... then on tues i met up with YZ, a fren of mine from primary school...

she too has scoliosis, and during those days, her's was worse than mine and she immediately went for the operation... she's in drama, which also makes her a performer... and she understands me fully without me saying much... literally the pain we both feel normally, the pain we feel when doing stuff we cant, how we feel when restricted, how we hate special treatments and how we are forced to give things up reluctantly and many others... so in short... she understands fully both physical and mental pain i went through... we were catching up and when i raised this up... she's like "you want my honest advice? quit now..." she then went on bout knowing i'll be happy with prolonging my dance life, but if accidents happen i might be paralyzed and there goes the rest of my life... and that how would i feel then... she was straight forward to the extent that i felt like i got hit right in the face by a big yellow bus... it scares me even more becos she knows the exact outcomes if a minor accident were to happen to me... outcomes that i refuse to keep in mind... and of cos she shared her side of one who undergone the op... she said that only after 7 years will i be able to noe if the op succeeded... and that a year after the op, i might be able to dance again... just that my movements will be highly restricted... she was like "no body wave, no powerful dance moves, no bending, no straining, no pointing of your feet...." i didnt even need to carry on hearing and i turned ballistic... how's that dancing? if it's suppose to be comforting it sure damn isnt aight!!! well i understand that she's trying to be very objective and non bias... and of cos the truth hurts... and from that, im lost once again on my decision...

then the next day was with LS... she knew exactly all the right buttons to push... and when i told her bout what YZ said... she replied with a simple phrase "has anything ever stop you from doing what you want?" and therefore the conclusion of my dilemma is NO CONCLUSION! oh well... maybe i should go back to being a student... for dance i mean... just attending classes and learning from scratch... learn to enjoy the process like i used to... meet and find some inspirations... i hope that helps... but first off i better start working soon cos money dun just drop from the skies... haixx... keep myself busy in this lonely period... so i guess that's all~

xoxo

PS: insomnia lately~ dun really noe what's the exact reason... maybe because my school results arent out yet... and now that dance isnt there to occupy my mind and body, it's totally taking a toll on me... anyone with remedies please tell me!

pps: oh i forgot to mention this! UNI was held in obox! it's like a wish come true to perform in it... cos since the first time i stepped in it, i wanted to perform there! ^^ the energy the atmosphere everything! it's really awesome and i feel fortunate to have a chance to perform in it, i think we're the first? and im proud to have a studio like that^^ totally dun understand those who grumble bout the setting... be grateful! RAWR! :p