first off, im feelin kinda guilty to those who were worried bout me trying to contact me all day... but well shouldnt be a big shocker, cos you guys shud noe im totally capable of doing such a thing... having nt for a long time doesnt mean i wun~ :p anyhow... sorry guys... i'll nt have another disappearin act anytime soon... cos one day caused me to be far behind my work... it's gonna take awhile for the next to happen :p
so anw... i didnt ran off to m'sia to play for christ sake... i was there for work... a fren of mine who's a freelance photographer needed my help on a portfolio project thingy... he explained that the theme's surrounding sadness... and lots of tears were needed... HAHA nah that's my sucky explanation... not his, his is just too long to type :p so anw i took up the offer thinking that it would be one of the most challenging shoots i've ever tried... and that i needed cash anw :p besides, it's been long since i met up with my peeps in m'sia, my photographer fren so happens to be in m'sia for the weekend, so why not?
an ACQUAINTANCE of mine and a good fren of his, loan us his super ass big house as setting... lolx... and i really meant it when i cap acquaintance... he was never a close fren of mine with that insensitive loose mouth of his... he'll always blurt stuff like hey how's your bf doing, when actually you guys broke up, then he'll go oops i forgot... or like hey why i dun see your dog, when your dog actually died... irritating to the max... so yea was there for the entire shoot... even though there wasnt alot of travelling around cos it's all around the house... i was mentally dead beat at the end of it... did hell lot of crying... and IT AINT EASY!!! well crying is... but the thing is that my fren totally knows exactly what he wants so he has been going "cry from your right eye but not from the left... keep it welled up instead" "dun cry... just max out the capacity your eyes can hold" lolx... and many other ridiculous quotes from him... nevertheless i heed his advice well and did the best i could... though there were times when tears just streaked down from both eyes when it wasnt suppose to or like when i couldnt stop crying... end up apologizing profusely mostly for that for the entire day... so conclusion for this... crying your heart out is a piece of cake... trying to control them is hella tough...
so yup the shoot was challenging and uncomfortable at the start... before i only did full body concept shoots and fashion photography, but this time there were so many close ups on my face... it was super weird having the camera in my face at times and seeing my big face on the comp when i was checking out the photos... and i swear by the end of the shoot... i bet my skin grew thicker like literally... cos every now and then after a crying shot... my makeup has to be retouched... not redone... so the makeup artist just piled up crap on my face for the entire day... mad uncomfortable... but of cos... just gotta put up some false professionalism :p no complains whatsoever... imma good girl^^
oh! there was a really interesting scene... which wasnt in the house... it was in a car... how should i explain this... like in movies the actress looks out of the car window and sudd a drop of tear cascaded down her cheeks? lolx imagine people! so anyway i was suppose to reenact something like that... and i though oh easy, i just got to sit and cry in a stationary car and my fren on the outside along with the lights and everything... hell no... my fren wanted to have rhythm in the picture and hence the car has to be moving so that from the picture, the outside of the car would be blurred due to speed... am i explaining correctly? lolx i guess... so anw how it's done in the end is that two cars had to drive at around the same speed... one with me on it and another with my fren... small lightings and a reflective board was stuck on the outside of the car i was on to get the lighting on me right... at that pt of time i was super pressurized cos i couldnt allow any errors on my part... like not being able to cry, angle not right blah blah... it's a really tedious effort and i wanted to get it done as fast as i could... fortunately, all went well and the pictures turned out great!
i also suggested an idea which i had been wanting to take on my own for years... which is the protagonist [in this case me] trying to wipe off the tears of her reflection in the mirror... once again imagine people~ HAHA i tried drawing out a couple times when i first had this idea... but just couldnt get the angles right... my fren liked the idea and proceeded to taking it... YAY FOR ME! keke^^ it turned out exactly hw i imagined it to be... and he said that he'll use it in his portfolio... which means i wun be getting it :( for some technical reasons but it also means he's gonna pay me more for my idea! WAHAHA!!! proud of myself *pats on own head* keke^^
of cos there were also dramatic scenes where i had to bawl my eyes out with eyeliner smudged, black tears, slide down a wall crying [ this is the most cliche scene in my opinion, like whenever i see this in a drama or whatever, i'll always think is it necessary to like slide down a wall when crying? like when you need to cry "oh wait! i gotta find a wall to slide down while crying to make it more sad" lolx pardon my random thought] but there were more scenes leaning towards... err how should i put it... 内心戏? lolx disclaimer... not like im a pro or anything... but yea... which was really tougher than crying buck loads... it's also pressurizing to have several eyes on you waiting for you to cry... thank god i was able to focus real well today...
so the shoot ended faster than i expected... and i was told that the staff was impressed by my performance... they said it was amazing that i could cry really fast like the cry in 10 sec thingy... and that they were really curious as to what are the things i was thinking about that caused those tears... HAHA!!! honestly i thought of many things... like reflecting on all forbidden issues of my life... issues that i dun like to talk or think about... well im no robot... brought them out for this shoot but right now, it's still stuck with me... it's gonna take a while for me to put it all away again... peeps who know me well would agree that my life's a drama... i've always hated it, who knows it can come in handy in sucha situation... thinking from this perspective... it aint that bad right? HAHA! the music i had my fren play along with the entire shoot helped too... songs that i picked... a definite tear jerker within secs has gotta be hurt by christina aguilera... gets me everytime... then there was another definite tear jerker which is yuan liang wo by jam hsiao... there were more... but these effected me the most... when yuan liang wo came on... Clo became super uptight... she was like why the hell this song... yelling at ppl to stop it before I hear it... lolx Clo i came up with the playlist yo~ whenever we're at K and someone wanna sing this song... before i can hear it... Clo would already end it and kick that person out of the room... HAHA i really appreciate it, but today's all bout facing it, and besides im ALLOWED to cry, no... scratch that... IM PAID TO CRY IN FRONT OF EVERYONE... so yea im fine... speeds things up too...
my fren even stated why he like working with me... his exact words were "cos it's easy to manipulate you." WTH rite? after some more talking he said that im easy to direct and manipulate to the things he wanna achieve becos i have a strong performer's streak... as though some specific actor who gets what the director wants and executes it as told... well that sounds much better than easily manipulated right?!? lolx...
after the shoot, went for dinner with my frens... had huge load of seafood... dang cheap i assume by the amount we ordered... my fren paid, so i didnt noe... photographer fren left and we went over to Chase's place... planned a dance session with my peeps in m'sia... been long since i felt the energy from the crew... well not all, but what's left... been talking to Chase on skype bout choreo-ing for mario's stuttering... been really into that song lately... and guess what! we perfected the whole song!!! just a session!!! how cool is that?!? well there were parts that were free, so that made things faster i suppose... and you just cant doubt our team unity :p it's the first time i've dance to Chase's choreo after he became a dance instructor... and i was like joking around asking if i need to pay him for the session... lolx... Ry pissed me off saying "s'been awhile since we dance together, thought V would be the bomb after she turned 18 but OMG V's turned into a guy!" that got everyone laughing... MAD to the max!!! whatever la u!!! anw what he meant was that, i lost my touch with the inappropriate genre after leaving it totally behind me... and well i do agree that im more forceful and aggressive when im dancing now as compared to before... BUT THAT DOESNT EQUATE TO ME TURNING INTO A GUY YOU IDIOT!!! and what bout you?!? ran off to learn house and raggae~ @#$%^&^$#@ you just stick to being a bboy la! lolx... so anw, as usual, was paired up with my kiddo for the skinship stuff... our mo qi is like the best! i use to think well it's the most comfortable with him even though he is like freakishly tall and muscular for his age cos well he's younger than me and we're tight... *and that even so, standing beside him, i'll still look much younger :p i know you're reading~ bleh~ keke^^* this time! something awkward happened during one of the moves... not gonna go into further detain cos it was AWKWARD!!! everyone was like rolling on the floor laughing their ass off... and well for me, i just kept apologizing... so we became the limelight and Chase decided to put us in the centre to display the awkwardness... fortunately, we got over it fast...
so throughout, the girls were like trying to help me get my "swagger" back... HAHA! which in Ry's sense turn me back into a woman... *throws my heels at him* oh right! yes, the girls force me to get back into heels... i mean dancing in heels... i thought i was gonna die... totally can't rmbr how i manage to do it in the past... walking and running is fine... dancing, not... floor, totally not!!! i lost it... that i agree... but i managed to get back a lil... i have to! since kiddo's so bloody tall, not wearing heels leads to awkward accidents... not as pro as b4 but still better than hw we started today... and indeed, i do agree that in heels, the atmosphere is just different... posture, swag and all... it's different... still, undeniable that i almost died in them!
so anw finished the entire choreo... i know it sounds v mei da mei xiao but i just gotta say tt im really proud of Chase! though he fused several genres here there, it wasnt messy... was really fun cos it was like a big brainstorming session, anyone who has suggestions just share and things get taken into consideration and in it goes... the entire dance shows everyone's distinct personality... unison but with individuality!!! that's it!!! HAHA cept me, i lost my former personality... good and bad... well i can't really be two face even if i wanna... like tune myself back to how i was before when im with them, and back to the me now when im not... i'll go crazy... but anyway, Chase said that my musicality's definitely much better than before... i just gotta pull his leg and i was like " so you're saying that my musicality sucked before la~" lolx him being him defended himself immediately by saying how i become more sensitive to beats and stuff... And dynamics wise it seems like im totally at ease with switching between forceful hits and flowy smooth moves during the girl's part... and that it could be a new personality and style of mine, fusing what i have now with what i have before... lolx pulling your leg la... you're like the only "instructor" that's like easy to bully... bet students like me can simply drive you up the wall :p i thought bout what he suggested bout the new personality and style thingy... but well im nt exactly agreeing to it... im still not comfortable with introducing that former style of mine into the present me... Clo reluctantly pushed me back into my world, they all know how their genre has always been stereotype... and im not exactly proud of what i've been through... so yea... for now, im happy with the way i am now...
no matter what, the dance was great... i would love to share, despite not feeling comfortable bout revealing me in the genre... but pity there isnt a video... we dun usually video our stuff and post them on the web just in case of some other crews and their loser minds decides to steal our stuff... or if it got leaked by some come and go dancers around us... so yea... session with the gang was great... got my mind off all negativity i raked up for the shoot... though now, after dance, it hits back with greater force... all's well... i had fun! Clo drove me home in Nick's car, nick decided to stay... it's only been like 2hrs since i left and im already missing them... you guys have no idea that y'all meant the whole world to me... ok maybe not whole.. half la half... lolx... must be realistic... not cliche :p
today's been fruitful... now im in bed, blogging instead of doing work... already behind... self tsk... lolx... going off~ nitex peeps~
ps: was listening to wedding dress and some other songs today as well, and i realized that i'll back off so you can live by G.Na is as though a continuation of wedding dress... so happens that i heard it in this sequence, and it made sense if thought in a girl's pov... it's all bout the feel~~~ lolx kkaes i'll post both songs here... off i go...
xoxo
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