its 7.30am, i usually blog at night but well haven been sleeping and i totally need a break away from work, so here i am~

first off i gotta say i cant wear shorts or skirts in the next few days!!!

my knees are like friggin ugly right now... immediate orhcheh neh... lil burnt, cuts and bruises... practice some knee turns or whatever ppl wanna call it ytd and my knees are like !@#$*(*&^%$# cui... stupid of me to wear that pair of dance pants... totally does nothing at all cos it doesnt really cover my knee, stupid of me to wear shorts to dance ytd... RAWR! din tot bout it b4 hand... and going home in dance attire really was kinda ridiculous without my hightops =.=

but other than feeling ridiculously stupid, i felt great cos practice was really fruitful for me. As compared to other practices before... no more having to chase after the rest and just really focus on beautifying the steps... ok nt the steps... beautifying myself... HAHA!!! all i did in the past few weeks were just chasing, who cares whether it looks fine anot when i cant even rmbr the steps... so yea, ytd was a total LOOK ONLY AT ME practice... keke^^ lemme be selfish for awhile kkaes? who knows i might have to chase again real soon...

so anw, was trying to go all out till i drop dead so that i wouldnt feel like a kid who's going to school without finishing her homework next wk... i know i wouldnt have time to practice or think bout dance during week days, and without space and a mirror, practice is kinda useless... so oh well with the sound system and mirror and what not, might as well grab the opportunity to go all out... and yes i did drop dead... my back was already aching from the start, but my legs felt fine... somehow... so yea heck my back and just practice... and guess what, on my way back home, it was so torturous... i wanted to scream in my seat cos all that's in my mind was PAIN!!! and the person sitting beside me was not helping AT ALL!!! with my head phones on, music blasting... i still could hear her shouting to her fren in another cabin of the train... i feel like stuffin my feet up her mouth, seriously... i highly doubt she owns the place, so WHO IS SHE TO CONTRIBUTE TO NOISE POLLUTION IN SUCH AN INCONSIDERATE WAY?!? HUH!!! all tt was n my mind was "would she shut her gap?!?" then it turned to "should i make her?!?" then with the increasing discomfort it turned to "it's time for me to get better headphones -_-" if my back wasnt aching like !@#$&*&^%$# then, i would have walked out of the train like pronto... TSK! why do this peeps even exist...

contacted my fren that i need the painkillers his sis got for me, and he volunteered to give me a ride home... WAHAHA!!! ok, i made him "volunteer" i guess... lolx like seriously, which guy in the right mind would just drive off without sending a girl home at night right... no wait, i bet those peeps exist... ok, which fren in the right mind... HAHA so yupx got my painkillers and got back home fast... Thx J! oh right as to why his sis got me painkillers... she's a nurse so yea it's easy for her to get it, and tts the secret as to how i can skip all my check ups ^^ hold that thought! dun even try to think that i shouldnt skip my check ups, and that it is not good blah blah... nothing's ever good, and that nothing would ever come out good, so yea... so long as i dun think i need it, and it aint gonna help, it's redundant... and if this reason is nt good enuff, then try imagining receiving bad news EVERY SINGLE TIME u come out of the hospital... if u still think otherwise, dun bother to tell me and pls improve your imagination... bleh~ BITE ME! :p

got home and start working as usual -_- till now... haixx... oh! mummy deary cooked ginseng chicken soup for me yesterday, she said that im looking awful from all the nighters i pulled... thx mum -_- lolx no really THX! bro was like babbling bout how im the only girl that'll leave branded bags lying around on the floor... lolx i gotta agree, but i dun really have a cabinet, and i was rushing out ytd mah~ tsk tsk... but anw mum got me a new branded bag recently ^^ dun really noe why she got it, but yea told her i liked it before, and obviously i cant spend that kinda money on a bag right now... so yea... HAPPY~ keke^^ it aint some high end brand as compared to the others, but well it's a smart and innovative bag... if you guys noe, it's the one where you can fold and button in diff ways to change the shape of the bag from RENOMA PARIS... it's so cute, mum got it in silvery grey for me... the one that i like~WAHAHA! happy happy~ dun start getting judgmental alright, im a girl afterall :p HAHA

OH RIGHT!!! it seems like i have another day of sch :p and the timing is so weird... tues 4-6 pm... im like darn suay when it comes to timetables, yet to getting lecturers and my grades, im kinda lucky i suppose ^^ so im schooling on mon, tues, thurs in the afternn... sucks big time cos i still gotta go out earlier to TRAVEL there... and! i gotta squeeze with those working peeps on the way home in the evening... ah~ suay ttm...

before i end this post... just wanna share a ridiculous thingy with you peeps... i thoroughly checked my fb as in mails, messagers and what not, cos they were piling up... sift through alot of random "care to intro, im a nice guy" shit and came to a really special one... this is how it goes...

Hi Vanessa.
How was your weekend and your week so far? Hopefully both are going as you hoped it would. My weekend was not so bad. I did not do everything I wanted to, but I managed to get the main things done which was a plus. Now I am trying to to stay warm during the current week. It is cold and wet outside, but this is an improvement from the snow that seems to fall weekly since Christmas. Still, I am feeling cold in my hands, which has given me an excuse to consume quite a bit of tea today.

Is there any part of your body that often feels cold Vanessa? What do you have planned for the remainder of your week?

Take care and have a wonderful day.


--Sherwin

lolx i seriously dunno this Sherwin guy... and apparently he's from NY... tts why the cold weather i guess... i've received lots of shit before from strangers, but i got to say tt this really caught my eye and made me bother to check his fb... it was set to private tho, and for the first time, i actually feel like adding or replying just to satisfy my curiosity on such a ridiculous and unique stranger... it's so much better than those random egoistic shit from most ppl... and this looks like it took a lil bit more time to type... well it might be a set template or whatever some stalker keep... and the content is EPIC... talk about being cold, im in a tropical country, HELLO?!? lolx but in the end i still decided that i should not... cos it's a policy of mine not to reply to such things... so yea~ claps claps for him for successfully grabbing my attention, and interest me for a split sec^^ ok it sounds like im some BHB person but no, it's just that i've always overlook such stuff cos it just happens too often... have to admit, it was entertaining HAHA^^

kkaes, gonna go off to prepare for school, and why's there a lecture today!!! friggin waste of time... RAWR!

off~

xoxo

I'm back after somewhat close to 3months? As usual lots happened and well i couldnt quite go into detail in every one of them cos firstly, i couldnt rmbr :p and secondly, it's gonna be a friggin long post even without details as usual~ keke^^ there would not be pics cos im lazy to upload them :p bite me!

so i shall start with an event that is the most memorable one for me... SS3!!! keke^^ yes i attended super junior's concert!!! right till now, i still couldnt believe i saw donghae in person... he's so... ahh~ words can't explain... like seriously, all's like a dream... TSK cliche or what... i totally think im becoming super cliche recently... like i cant believe some stuff i said came out from my mouth =X so anw, the show was awesome!!! maybe cos im biased but wateva~ anyone that's gonna talk shit bout this after reading my blog is gonna get it real bad from me... lolx so dun even try~ ok i shall move away from my fangirl moment and touch on other stuff...

managed to go for the Valentino exhibition held at the Resorts World Convention Centre cos i received free admission tickets ^^ planned on going even before receiving invites from my aunt... i just have to catch it, it was definitely one of the highly anticipated events then for me... the exhibition was simply gorgeous... like literally, the setting was spacious and simple and the dresses were amazing... There was one that totally blew me away... it was literally shining under the dim lightings... Like if i had the money i would totally own it... keke^^ I learnt and was inspired by the exhibition, from exhibition set ups, process throughout the years to the dresses, everything was like a valuable lesson... i wish there would be more of such exhibitions and that i would receive invites or i should say sponsors... keke^^ i dunno how much the tickets cost, might be ordinary but still, it's still a save somehow :p big thanks to my aunt!

speaking of sentosa... i made quite a few trips there with friends as well as family... i love sentosa so much i should totally get like the vip package thingy for like cheaper entries in or watever... brought my parents there and visited the universal studios... well if i dun bring them there, who will right? i wouldnt wanna regret next time for not bringing them here when they can still walk around and enjoy it for themselves... like how i am for not being able to bring my grandma there... if only sentosa was made more wheel-chair bound friendly... my grandma aint wheel-chair bound but her legs arent working very well now, so whenever we take her out, a wheel chair's a need... haixx... so anw brought my parents there, along with my bro... day didnt work out very well cos like duh we all dun do family day neither are we close around the house, shut, lock doors and stuff but yea... im glad i brought them there anw...

visited the zoo too~~~ keke^^ it's been so long since i went there, couldnt even rmbr the last time i visited... my fren said not only do i look like a foreigner, i also behave like one... like a tourist -_- oh pls... no one said that locals cant visit tourist attractions ok... and besides, i like tourist attractions and that's what matters :p

let's see what else happened... oya! my birthday as well as my mum's... seriously, this year has gotta be the suckiest birthday ever!!! my birthday fell on a friday, and coincidentally i had to submit 3 subject finals on that day, as well as a presentation for final grading... and on the wednesday and thursday before that, i had to submit an architectural design rendered in a software, a video walkthrough of my design and a book on photography, contents typography and what not... not to be forgotten my normal homework for every other subject i had... didnt slept for the entire week... and to make it worst, after my presentation my class started singing Happy Birthday song for me and everyone at the basement turned and looked... -_- all our classes are like at this big space in the basement... so everyone in foundation that had class that morning was there to witness the whole thing... i'm happy with the well wishes and all but i really can't stand such stuff... like how i actually dun like it when someone gives me a big bouquet of flowers in public or like singing Happy Birthday song at a restaurant... unnecessary attention... that's what it is.... dun like!!! i feel so bad for turning down friends who wanted to celebrate my birthday for me... really really sorry... people asked me what i was doing after school on my birthday and all i answered was to go home and sleep... My pathetic birthday wish was also to sleep for more than 6 hrs... yes, just like that and i'll be contented... So anw after the whole day, i managed to get myself home safely, drop dead and made my wish come true ^^ no birthday cake for me on my 18th birthday... especially told ppl that i dun need any birthday cakes cos i really dun like eating them... the cream on it taste weird... so guess what mummy deary bought me? TIRAMISU!!! keke a small cup of tiramisu, but it was enough to make my day~ mum knows best i would say ^^

watched ballerina who loves bboy on the next day... it was great and it totally reminded me how i have this thing with bboys... poppers definitely blow me away but somehow i feel more distant with them? like they are so pro and mighty that all i could do was to stand afar and stare at them in awe... just a weird feeling i always had but with bboys, they're much easier to mingle with, not to mention fun and crazy... have many frens who were once or still are bboys but hardly any popper... weird eh? so anw, had fun at the show and i was like tellin ppl how my birthday was actually on the 19th rather than 18th cos my 18th sucked... HAHA!!!

for my mum's birthday, it fell on a saturday... couldnt celebrate for her due to some shit that happened... cant rmbr what now but yea i made her a card~ keke^^ there's like this photo of me and her on the front... family collage thingy inside and a note at the back with a picture of a cup of cappuccino with heart-shaped foam on it... keke^^ knew she grew lil stress with work lately, so came up with this to gear her on as well as a cappuccino filled with love to spur her on OT nights ^^ happy that she liked it and like all mothers, mummy deary showed off the card to her frens and colleagues... TSK embarrassing neh u~ HAHA

right, haven't touched on dance... as in my own not the bboy thingy... well when i was working, pulling a late night as usual... i came across this note my lecturer wrote me... he signed off with "dance on:)"... it didnt really hit me back then but it did when i saw it again... made me stopped what i was doing and just think... it's so easy to write that down but so hard to actually make it happen... since he's also a dancer himself... i admire him for being able to balance out dance and school when he was schooling, and now, when he's working... not to be forgotten, topped the entire interior design faculty and came out with a masters in ID... as well as coming out as champion in many dance sport competition... how he did that i seriously do not know...

the whole thing was on my mind the entire time for months... whether i should just stop dancing because schoolwork and such... i know all my readers are prolly tired of me touching on this subject but seriously it occurred to me once again but aint related to health... health aint the main reason, which it should be, technically speaking... but now it's just a supporting factor... talked to a fren on it and she was like "pfft... yea right... lemme tell you, you are not gonna stop dancing... trust me... no matter how many times it has crossed your mind or is gonna cross your mind again in the future, you wun..." and just like that she answered me, totally shutting me off and went onto another topic...

think it was like a few weeks later, i went back to the topic with my fren... i was like "hey about dance, i actually said i wanted out of an upcoming performance neh..." and she was like "and then..." "but im still in?" she totally LOL-ed and continued "i knew it, that's why i asked and then... seriously V didnt i say you won't... but wow getting it outta your mouth is one huge hurdle le, im surprised to a certain extent." she was totally spot on... it was extremely difficult, even to the extent of torturous to even say out that i dun think i will be joining the performance... i couldnt even extract the uncertainty factor of my statement and said something firm along the line of "i won't be..." it was like i had to dig the back of my own throat to make myself puke like some anorexic person... yet a simple statement was able to make me swallow back my own puke... lolx sounds disgusting when i phrased it like this... but it was exactly like what i had described... the puking out was far more difficult and torturous than the swallowing back... which should actually be opposite in reality...

several factors lead me to that decision... for one, i was thinking that, to even think of wanting to stop, i must have good reasons... i dunno if anyone understands what im getting at but this is the best i can phrase it... secondly, my health certainly aint turning for the better in any sense... not to forget, i had to get my lungs checked some time mid year... and obviously something will come out wrong in the end just like how my other check ups ended... next, i really don't wanna be the rat shit... injuries are bound to be back to find me for sure, i will have to miss practices cos of school work, and no matter how i try to self deceive, i have to admit that im no super woman... what should i do if im not entitled any time to practice having already missed lessons and what not... so yea... biggest worry...

other stuff would be things like how i hate to be the one to hinder team unity in areas like making others worried cos i wouldnt be able to attend every single practice... well from my pov i'm uncomfortable with ppl not attending practices even if they could churn out the ultimate result during performance... so what if you can handle yourself, you can't handle the whole team, the whole performance... cos no matter what, it's a team's effort and it couldnt be achieved just based on one's sole ability... stuff like causing mental imbalance in the team bugged me too... not that im all that great or whatsoeva... but yea was talking to a fren and she was like "likely to happen... when they start asking themselves why they have to attend every lesson and yet you dun... shit happens... just like how it did with some of your other friends... and where are they now? xin li bu ping heng, can't be help.... not your fault, yet at the same time you're kinda the reason... then the whole team and performance wouldn't work, and the audience could tell no matter how good you are at acting or feigning..." i dun even noe whether i should applaud my fren for able to make my life miserable with this conversation or not... well she's actually right since she knows alot bout me from way back and've seen all that happened around me... what she said didnt sound nice but it was truthful...

so yea all these made me blurt out a reluctant decision yet in the end i just can't stay away... i wonder if im being selfish or not... and i really wanna noe which is a better decision that i should've or already made... but anyway anyhow im still dancing... it certainly doesnt feel nice to be always on my heels, chasing and getting to the same pace as other's in a shorter amount of time but well it can't be helped... i missed practice, i gotta work double, triple hard... but i have to admit, it sucks and it is extremely frustrating to the extent of wanting to pull my hair out, scream, bang the wall or throw a tantrum like a spoilt brat... on the contrary, at the end of every lesson, i always feel great and thankful that i danced, am still dancing, will continue to dance and that im still given a stage to perform... im also thankful that siqi is with me... total motivation and a darling... after the first prac together... she texted me saying that she was glad to see and dance with me again... that she felt addicted to dance again and of cos that she missed the addicted crew... totally an angel~ and with all these, everything's certainly worth it...

so anyway as to why im able to blog right now is cos i do not have school for the rest of the week... and that for now, my classes are only on two days... it's term 4 right now and all of us are being split up into our desired specialism... and we have to do a specialism based project which would determine if we would be entitled a spot in the specialism we want... i was happy at first but now after reading my briefs and what not im intimidated by the fact that more work have to be done and that more time was given to us cos the school knows we totally need it... -_- so yea, even tho i dun have to go to school on some days i might have to burn midnight oil too cos the workload is just more overwhelming than before... well at least im doing something that i chose to do for the rest of my life right? im afraid to say "something i like" cos in most cases, when im working, i tend to hate what im doing... and that's why i hate to mix work hobby and play... like how i certainly would not dance in my school when requested or design an outfit for a friend... so yea... main point is that i have more freedom as to how i wanna use my time instead of spending most of it traveling or sleeping through a long 4hr break in between lessons... im also happy to have time to be back on my exercise regime... the only time when i really exercise is during the holidays... other then that, when there's school, the only exercise i have is dance... so yea it started today cos i was aching so badly on monday due to dance... went for my morning run before heading out to meet my frens... and from tmrw onwards im gonna go for my morning run and do my work... that was the only rest day i allowed myself to have... there is no gym near my house -_- unlike when i was living in khatib... totally can go to the gym at the stadium and grab breakfast thr too... and here, my running route is extremely sucky with bad air... back at khatib i have like two routes where i can alternate... and the air and wind there is much nicer... TSK! i sound crazy now dont i... talking bout diff air... but it's seriously diff... i dunno what specifically but hell yea it's diff alright... tsk tsk... o well, no use complainin... im stuck here anyway...

OYA! forgot to mention a piece of good news... a video of mine got nominated by several lecturers and my dean for this international film festival thingy... shocking when they announced my name along with a few others in front of the whole cohort after my morning lecture... my frens were like congratulating me and i think my response aint what they expected... TSK how do you guys expect me to react when i just woke up from the boring lecture which was a movie screening and was like havin a grouchy morning phase? and besides, it aint something i aimed for, it just suddenly popped out... i gotta say that im happy that my work was recognized and that they see potential in me in this field... but well yea i hadnt expected much in this area so yea happy but not overjoyed nor excited... bummer to most of my frens but oh well im like that :p

some troubling stuff recently, well with my new timetable, should i get a part time job? i could use the extra cash :p hmm... night jobs earn more as usual and im legally 18... hmm...

so yea i think that's bout it for the stuff i think is worth mentionin and that i could rmbr... right now it's 1.47am... and my brain is certainly not functioning right anymore... hence im gonna go off~ not sure when i'll be back but yea... will update this when i have something else to add~ nitex nitex peeps~

♥*\(^.^)/*♥

xoxo

seriously damn suay!!! right after xmas at like 2am in the morning, i started puking non stop for hours... mum wanted to call for the ambulance... but me being me... decided to wait till morning even though i was screaming in pain in the mid of the night... it was unbearable...

i thought it was some food poisoning shit, but it's kinda ridiculous being everything i've eaten, others ate it too... and they were fine...

so went to the docs this morning for a check and to get some "xmas presents" from him... it seems that i've got gastritis -_- doc asked "is it okay for me to give you a jab?" -_- "no." and that marked the end of that conversation... hate jabs... but after that... with the pain and all... im starting to think i should've just went for a jab and punch the doc in the face... it would have been more relieving...

been sleeping almost throughout the day... and my plans were totally ruined!!! RAWR!!! still im heading for Malaysia tomorrow... hoping that i'll feel better by tomorrow... i better!

other then sleeping, ive been reviewing some dbsk stuff cos today's their 7th anniversary... still rmbr the first song i heard from them was in chi... then, their pronounciation amazes me... and till today, i still feel that the lyrics was well written... this song hit me harder then how it used to appear to me before... especially right after the xmas party i was at on friday... missed the presence of my fren who passed on due to cancer... and of cos the absence of some other people on xmas... just like how i've always mention how one will only truly understand n realize after one loses - "为什么当我失去你以后才能明白" i guess that will always remain as a question and a problem that will always repeat itself...

and indeed 思念是永不停息的旋律...

off to sleep~ zzzZZZ

After a day of hard work, im ready to turn in early... until i received a call, and now im happy till i can't sleep! HAHA so here i am bloggin away~ well the caller was Siqi, a huge motivation of mine for AHA this year... she's really a sweetheart and definitely a great dancer... at times i'll stare at her, envious... but thank god that kind of envy always turns into positive motivation and not some other negativity... i feel really comfortable working with her... maybe cos both of us have our own expectations of ourselves... whenever we feel that things arent good enough, we'll keep repeating until we got it right... and at times, getting it right just aint enuff... i guess i'll really miss dancing with her most... and it really hit me when she said "i hope i'll see you soon and we'll work together again..." over the phone... i thanked her for being my motivation and that i'm gonna miss dancing with her... yet being a sweetheart she thanked me back... HAHA she really had no idea how great of a motivation she was... and that im really thankful...

My readers should know that this year aint easy for me... given my deteriorating health conditions and motivation... Often i would think when did dance become a stressful and difficult thing for me... cos initially things werent like that... i was all out to enjoy myself... enjoy the feeling of performing.... the feeling of basking in the glory of what i once do best... the feeling of training for months for just that few moments on stage... the surge of adrenaline rush... And indeed, i felt it once again on Sunday night, the last night of AHA... i didnt thought i would, but i really did enjoyed myself...

As to why i didnt thought i would was due to the perf on sat night... the feeling of not being able to full up totally just sucked to the max... what's a performer if one cant give all that shes got on stage? what's a performer if one cnt perform... totally regret holding back... chose to hold back cos i had to make sure i could dance on the second day... yet even though i held back... it still hurts... and throughout the perf i couldnt concentrate... all that was on my mind was of cos pain and that where should i hold back, what are the things i should not do.... was totally disappointed with myself on sat night and i totally felt like crap...

but on sunday, all that was on my mind was to enjoy, have fun with my fellow dancers for the last time and to remember the time i had on stage... totally made effort as to observing the audience and my surroundings... And all i could say in the end was IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! i would be lying if i were to say that i didnt felt pain on sun... i did but even tho i felt it, the enjoyment was more overwhelming than anything...

Once again, i must say that im THANKFUL to ZY! i cannot cannot emphasize more as to how thankful i am... this yr i've always thought bout what if i hadnt respond to your call for dancers in 2008... will i still be dancing right now... and the ans is most prolly not... i believe this year has been really hard for you and yet you are always there as a listening ear to all my negativity... cheering me on... and saying how i dun suck... ok actually no, i dun like hearing that i dun suck when i noe i did... HAHA! 3 yrs... u said that it was enuff... but to me it feels too short... you said you're proud of me, yet greedy me just dun think it's enuff... there's still much more that i wish to learn and to improve on... i really really hope to be able to still dance your items... and like i've said before, i hope to participate in one that you don't have to alter to cater to anyone... in terms of technicalities and difficulties... it is really a goal of mine, yet i dunno whether i can reach it or not... cos i really really dun wanna become the rat shit... or should i say that im afraid of being the rat shit...

this year, i've learnt to work with ppl that i dun see myself working with... i dun enjoy working with them, cos "uncertainty" was written all over their forehead... i find myself worrying for their shit before mine... which is really stupid... sam asked, "why do you care so much? or why do you help them then?" and my reason is simple... cos they're in my item... they're my shit... similarly... vice versa, i wouldnt want anyone that is working with me to be stressed out by these things... hence i'm reluctant to become the rat shit... yet to me, being the rat shit or not is not something i can control... unlike others... haixx life's a bitch as always and it's unfair...

speaking of life being a bitch... i fell sick on the day before full dress rehearsal... high fever and was in and out the whole day... downed all related meds i could find and just slept... hoping i would miraculously get better by the next day... was totally freakin out... was so afraid that i would cough or sneeze in the midst of performing... or that i wouldnt have my usual amount of strength... which is totally bad given that i really wanted to score on the parts where i could just go all out... or even worst... faint... i'll totally not forgive myself if i do... throughout thurs and fri, i felt totally helpless and useless... thinking how could someone keep fallin sick and that why is health always a prob for me... the fever totally came without a warning, and my whole family caught it... all of them went to the docs... but of cos for me, i didnt had time to... so all i could do was to down meds and pray... was really scared during those days... yet i couldnt really voice it out, till now... since all's over... once again im amazed by my control... cos not only did i not cough or sneeze during perf... my fever went away on sat and sun and came right back when i reached home after the last perf... cool eh? so yea right now im still downing meds... but im fine^^ im always sick anw... no big deal...

OH! and big thanks to my friends who came to support me!!! i love you guys!!! especially LS and Jen... i was totally stressing out cos they were coming... and was telling them how they shouldnt breach high hopes bout my perf... still being my good friends and knowing me well all they said to me before the perf was "you better not screw it, cos we're here..." HAHA! i know their intentions... and it works much better than anyone who says stuff like "oh you can do it de la..." thanks guys! and right aftr the perf... i had a chat with them... Jen told me i worried for nothing... and that it was great... LS just said "indeed it's V" HAHA! i love you guys to the max man! and before leaving... i thanked them for coming and said that i hope they feel their 10 bucks was worth while and they actually replied "your item alone was worth more than that... rest well and do well tomorrow ok?" i wanted to cry at that point yet they had to add "dun screw just bcos we aint gonna be here ok?" HAHA! and that's when the touching moment shattered but i still love them ^^ OH! did i mention mummy deary wanted to come along with my dad this year? she kept asking me bout it, and dropped hints that she wanted to come... scared the shit outta me... totally said no right into their faces... it's just weird havin them around when i dun wan them to... and not havin them around when i was still healthily dancing, competing and wanted them to... you guys missed the time, so too bad! o well...

so yea... what else is thr to blog bout? i actually had alot on mind... just that right now, i cnt think of any :( this was an impromptu post anw... cos of the call from Siqi... so yea... the main point of this blog post is that im really thankful to 2 incredible dancer and choreographer, Siqi and ZY... Thanks guys! you guys are my greatest motivation for year 2010... im not good at mushy stuff... so yea... you guys noe de ^.~ HAHA! If there were trophies for MVD i'll totally give them to you two yea? once again... THANKS!

ps: maybe cos i've met great people, so other parts of my life suck? hmm... then i guess it's worth it ^^

xoxo

updating right now because im feeling good~~~ keke^^ i shouldnt be... but i am... RAWR i dun make sense... been updating often these days... it aint a sign that i'm gonna be updating often... just treat it as a make up for the unannounced hiatus before yea?

but anw i just wanna say im feeling good 'cos i was so motivated today at dance... reason unknown... and the day totally started out suckish for me... totally just go crazy with replaying the song and just dancing over and over again without taking a break... didnt fully nail it down but i enjoyed the process even tho it's frustrating... lolx am i makin sense? feelin too good right now~ but of cos, the consequences for pushing my limits is that im totally in pain right now... but it was worth it... i enjoyed, feel good, and that's what matters... pity that Vian's still lost out there, and that she isnt here with me... o well... ppl change, and i certainly did change in some way or other... and i totally get her... but just wish she was here, cos this would be a first to be dancing in DI without her...

another thing as to why im feeling great is that i came back to a bowl of hot soup!!! my mum boiled soup and left a bowl for me! HAHA happy over a bowl of soup -_- but anw finally this year... i felt like my parents are becoming more like parents... though more naggy than usual, and there's more rules... but not like i'll listen anw :p im born a rebel! i feel better, this way than before, when i was given infinite freedom and no rules whatsoever... maybe im a masochist? HAHA who knows...

oya! another reason why i wanted to blog is that i wanted to post a song up... been wanting to, kept forgetting... so here i am...

I think that this piece's not given enuff credit than it deserve... though i dislike the oh oh oh eh eh eh part la... but i love how the instrumental behind sounds... and the lyrics' better than i expected... but the mv sucks la... ruin the song... don't bother looking it up... anw this reminds me of another piece from some time back...

hate the part where it sounds like a frog... and the lyrics aren't the greatest but what i like in both songs is the instrumental... strong, powerful... the instrumental for this is better in my opinion :p i really like the start of the track...

i should be turning in... gonna be up at 6.30 tmrw... and i'm not even schooling!!! speaking of which... some lecturer kept asking me to join various exhibitions... there's another who wants me to do a collaboration with him on an interior architecture project for exhibition... ok that sounds wrong, cos he's my lecturer... but yea indeed he wants me to work with him... ok it aint soundin any better right? RAWR watever... u guys should get what im getting at... so anw... i just wanna say, I NEEDA BREAK!!! IT'S MY HOLIDAY!!! LAY OFF WILL YA?!? RAWR!!! im thankful that my lecturer's think highly of me... but seriously... let me take a break neh~ turning down every offer... and besides im not interested in interior architecture... i can, but not interested :p so it doesnt make a diff...

ok ok really gotta turn in~ nitex peeps~

xoxo