seriously damn suay!!! right after xmas at like 2am in the morning, i started puking non stop for hours... mum wanted to call for the ambulance... but me being me... decided to wait till morning even though i was screaming in pain in the mid of the night... it was unbearable...

i thought it was some food poisoning shit, but it's kinda ridiculous being everything i've eaten, others ate it too... and they were fine...

so went to the docs this morning for a check and to get some "xmas presents" from him... it seems that i've got gastritis -_- doc asked "is it okay for me to give you a jab?" -_- "no." and that marked the end of that conversation... hate jabs... but after that... with the pain and all... im starting to think i should've just went for a jab and punch the doc in the face... it would have been more relieving...

been sleeping almost throughout the day... and my plans were totally ruined!!! RAWR!!! still im heading for Malaysia tomorrow... hoping that i'll feel better by tomorrow... i better!

other then sleeping, ive been reviewing some dbsk stuff cos today's their 7th anniversary... still rmbr the first song i heard from them was in chi... then, their pronounciation amazes me... and till today, i still feel that the lyrics was well written... this song hit me harder then how it used to appear to me before... especially right after the xmas party i was at on friday... missed the presence of my fren who passed on due to cancer... and of cos the absence of some other people on xmas... just like how i've always mention how one will only truly understand n realize after one loses - "为什么当我失去你以后才能明白" i guess that will always remain as a question and a problem that will always repeat itself...

and indeed 思念是永不停息的旋律...

off to sleep~ zzzZZZ

After a day of hard work, im ready to turn in early... until i received a call, and now im happy till i can't sleep! HAHA so here i am bloggin away~ well the caller was Siqi, a huge motivation of mine for AHA this year... she's really a sweetheart and definitely a great dancer... at times i'll stare at her, envious... but thank god that kind of envy always turns into positive motivation and not some other negativity... i feel really comfortable working with her... maybe cos both of us have our own expectations of ourselves... whenever we feel that things arent good enough, we'll keep repeating until we got it right... and at times, getting it right just aint enuff... i guess i'll really miss dancing with her most... and it really hit me when she said "i hope i'll see you soon and we'll work together again..." over the phone... i thanked her for being my motivation and that i'm gonna miss dancing with her... yet being a sweetheart she thanked me back... HAHA she really had no idea how great of a motivation she was... and that im really thankful...

My readers should know that this year aint easy for me... given my deteriorating health conditions and motivation... Often i would think when did dance become a stressful and difficult thing for me... cos initially things werent like that... i was all out to enjoy myself... enjoy the feeling of performing.... the feeling of basking in the glory of what i once do best... the feeling of training for months for just that few moments on stage... the surge of adrenaline rush... And indeed, i felt it once again on Sunday night, the last night of AHA... i didnt thought i would, but i really did enjoyed myself...

As to why i didnt thought i would was due to the perf on sat night... the feeling of not being able to full up totally just sucked to the max... what's a performer if one cant give all that shes got on stage? what's a performer if one cnt perform... totally regret holding back... chose to hold back cos i had to make sure i could dance on the second day... yet even though i held back... it still hurts... and throughout the perf i couldnt concentrate... all that was on my mind was of cos pain and that where should i hold back, what are the things i should not do.... was totally disappointed with myself on sat night and i totally felt like crap...

but on sunday, all that was on my mind was to enjoy, have fun with my fellow dancers for the last time and to remember the time i had on stage... totally made effort as to observing the audience and my surroundings... And all i could say in the end was IT WAS ALL WORTH IT! i would be lying if i were to say that i didnt felt pain on sun... i did but even tho i felt it, the enjoyment was more overwhelming than anything...

Once again, i must say that im THANKFUL to ZY! i cannot cannot emphasize more as to how thankful i am... this yr i've always thought bout what if i hadnt respond to your call for dancers in 2008... will i still be dancing right now... and the ans is most prolly not... i believe this year has been really hard for you and yet you are always there as a listening ear to all my negativity... cheering me on... and saying how i dun suck... ok actually no, i dun like hearing that i dun suck when i noe i did... HAHA! 3 yrs... u said that it was enuff... but to me it feels too short... you said you're proud of me, yet greedy me just dun think it's enuff... there's still much more that i wish to learn and to improve on... i really really hope to be able to still dance your items... and like i've said before, i hope to participate in one that you don't have to alter to cater to anyone... in terms of technicalities and difficulties... it is really a goal of mine, yet i dunno whether i can reach it or not... cos i really really dun wanna become the rat shit... or should i say that im afraid of being the rat shit...

this year, i've learnt to work with ppl that i dun see myself working with... i dun enjoy working with them, cos "uncertainty" was written all over their forehead... i find myself worrying for their shit before mine... which is really stupid... sam asked, "why do you care so much? or why do you help them then?" and my reason is simple... cos they're in my item... they're my shit... similarly... vice versa, i wouldnt want anyone that is working with me to be stressed out by these things... hence i'm reluctant to become the rat shit... yet to me, being the rat shit or not is not something i can control... unlike others... haixx life's a bitch as always and it's unfair...

speaking of life being a bitch... i fell sick on the day before full dress rehearsal... high fever and was in and out the whole day... downed all related meds i could find and just slept... hoping i would miraculously get better by the next day... was totally freakin out... was so afraid that i would cough or sneeze in the midst of performing... or that i wouldnt have my usual amount of strength... which is totally bad given that i really wanted to score on the parts where i could just go all out... or even worst... faint... i'll totally not forgive myself if i do... throughout thurs and fri, i felt totally helpless and useless... thinking how could someone keep fallin sick and that why is health always a prob for me... the fever totally came without a warning, and my whole family caught it... all of them went to the docs... but of cos for me, i didnt had time to... so all i could do was to down meds and pray... was really scared during those days... yet i couldnt really voice it out, till now... since all's over... once again im amazed by my control... cos not only did i not cough or sneeze during perf... my fever went away on sat and sun and came right back when i reached home after the last perf... cool eh? so yea right now im still downing meds... but im fine^^ im always sick anw... no big deal...

OH! and big thanks to my friends who came to support me!!! i love you guys!!! especially LS and Jen... i was totally stressing out cos they were coming... and was telling them how they shouldnt breach high hopes bout my perf... still being my good friends and knowing me well all they said to me before the perf was "you better not screw it, cos we're here..." HAHA! i know their intentions... and it works much better than anyone who says stuff like "oh you can do it de la..." thanks guys! and right aftr the perf... i had a chat with them... Jen told me i worried for nothing... and that it was great... LS just said "indeed it's V" HAHA! i love you guys to the max man! and before leaving... i thanked them for coming and said that i hope they feel their 10 bucks was worth while and they actually replied "your item alone was worth more than that... rest well and do well tomorrow ok?" i wanted to cry at that point yet they had to add "dun screw just bcos we aint gonna be here ok?" HAHA! and that's when the touching moment shattered but i still love them ^^ OH! did i mention mummy deary wanted to come along with my dad this year? she kept asking me bout it, and dropped hints that she wanted to come... scared the shit outta me... totally said no right into their faces... it's just weird havin them around when i dun wan them to... and not havin them around when i was still healthily dancing, competing and wanted them to... you guys missed the time, so too bad! o well...

so yea... what else is thr to blog bout? i actually had alot on mind... just that right now, i cnt think of any :( this was an impromptu post anw... cos of the call from Siqi... so yea... the main point of this blog post is that im really thankful to 2 incredible dancer and choreographer, Siqi and ZY... Thanks guys! you guys are my greatest motivation for year 2010... im not good at mushy stuff... so yea... you guys noe de ^.~ HAHA! If there were trophies for MVD i'll totally give them to you two yea? once again... THANKS!

ps: maybe cos i've met great people, so other parts of my life suck? hmm... then i guess it's worth it ^^

xoxo

updating right now because im feeling good~~~ keke^^ i shouldnt be... but i am... RAWR i dun make sense... been updating often these days... it aint a sign that i'm gonna be updating often... just treat it as a make up for the unannounced hiatus before yea?

but anw i just wanna say im feeling good 'cos i was so motivated today at dance... reason unknown... and the day totally started out suckish for me... totally just go crazy with replaying the song and just dancing over and over again without taking a break... didnt fully nail it down but i enjoyed the process even tho it's frustrating... lolx am i makin sense? feelin too good right now~ but of cos, the consequences for pushing my limits is that im totally in pain right now... but it was worth it... i enjoyed, feel good, and that's what matters... pity that Vian's still lost out there, and that she isnt here with me... o well... ppl change, and i certainly did change in some way or other... and i totally get her... but just wish she was here, cos this would be a first to be dancing in DI without her...

another thing as to why im feeling great is that i came back to a bowl of hot soup!!! my mum boiled soup and left a bowl for me! HAHA happy over a bowl of soup -_- but anw finally this year... i felt like my parents are becoming more like parents... though more naggy than usual, and there's more rules... but not like i'll listen anw :p im born a rebel! i feel better, this way than before, when i was given infinite freedom and no rules whatsoever... maybe im a masochist? HAHA who knows...

oya! another reason why i wanted to blog is that i wanted to post a song up... been wanting to, kept forgetting... so here i am...

I think that this piece's not given enuff credit than it deserve... though i dislike the oh oh oh eh eh eh part la... but i love how the instrumental behind sounds... and the lyrics' better than i expected... but the mv sucks la... ruin the song... don't bother looking it up... anw this reminds me of another piece from some time back...

hate the part where it sounds like a frog... and the lyrics aren't the greatest but what i like in both songs is the instrumental... strong, powerful... the instrumental for this is better in my opinion :p i really like the start of the track...

i should be turning in... gonna be up at 6.30 tmrw... and i'm not even schooling!!! speaking of which... some lecturer kept asking me to join various exhibitions... there's another who wants me to do a collaboration with him on an interior architecture project for exhibition... ok that sounds wrong, cos he's my lecturer... but yea indeed he wants me to work with him... ok it aint soundin any better right? RAWR watever... u guys should get what im getting at... so anw... i just wanna say, I NEEDA BREAK!!! IT'S MY HOLIDAY!!! LAY OFF WILL YA?!? RAWR!!! im thankful that my lecturer's think highly of me... but seriously... let me take a break neh~ turning down every offer... and besides im not interested in interior architecture... i can, but not interested :p so it doesnt make a diff...

ok ok really gotta turn in~ nitex peeps~

xoxo

Year ends is always a time for reflecting, dreaming and even reminiscing... yesterday, was a day of randomness... head for dance, was super early... reached lavender mrt yet went to the opp and took the train back to bugis for starbucks, due to some sudden caffeine craving... On the way home, reached my stop... alighted yet walked back to the park some distance away from home... spent at least an hour just sitting in the park reflecting, dreaming and reminiscing before heading back home... Reached home at around 1.30 in the morning and totally just dropped dead after i shower...

yesterday i also thought that someone should invent a universal mute button or a universal pause button... often at times, i just wanna mute all the noises and conversations happening around me... definitely not because it is super vexing or frustrating... but just some serenity would be nice at some point... it would be even more perfect if i could just hit pause and everything around me would come to a halt... i guess for everyone, there ought to be moments that one wishes to stay at forever... if only life comes along with a remote tied to it...

oh yea, before i forget, i wanna blog this down since i rmbr right now... some time back on the bus back home... there were two people conversing, not in terms of verbal communication but by using sign language... finding it interesting and duh i had nth else to do or look at on the bus... hence i kept looking at them... I was so intrigued by their conversation even though they couldnt converse out loud, they were extremely expressive... Using facial expressions, body language along with sign language... I actually could understand a lil of their conversation, without the details of cos... This led me on to wondering if they were to be able to speak out verbally, would they be as expressive as they are now? As for those of us who are fortunate enough to be gifted with the talent to speak... is it because we are able to, hence we've neglected other ways of expressions?

So, in the end, are we considered to have something more as compared to them, like how all normally assume, or are we at the losing end?

Another random thought would be, will they make a better performer than us? given their expressiveness, ability to effectively convey messages across without verbal communication... i bet they're much better! but does one really have to lose something to realise that things should not be taken for granted? guess there's really no cure for that until someone looses something precious, starts regretting and realizing that life's a bitch eh?

ever since xmas07, times nearing xmas are always like that for me... thinking, thinking and more thinking... not emo-ing but just purely thinking deeper than usual...

ironically, all year round, only in the coldest season will the frozen heart of mine melt and start weakening again... gusts of strong winter wind will then whirl up a tornado in my heart, causing a mess... and as the season pass by, it's time to clean up the mess and freeze my heart back into how it should be...

i guess, with each passing year, the cycle will still carry on... even though things didnt get easier with each passing year like how i expected it to be, i still never once regretted any decisions i made... im proud of myself and i still love xmas... xmas will always be a mark for each year, a reminder that i've loved, discovered, realised, fell, grew and not doubted the decisions i've made...

remembered the times when i was watching armageddon and listening to aerosmith... so powerful... yet at times it was just too overpowering... found this ver. and i thought it was really soothing... yet the lyrics still does magic after all this years... say what, 12 years?


song i've been listening to recently... along with the mv, it's really sad... 2am's great!!! shall blog more about them next time~

xoxo

shot post before i turn in early for the day... just wanna say, I PASS MY SEM!!! didn't receive death call!!! i swear it's seriously a very cocked up system to have your mentor callin if one has to do a resubmission... totally dunno when the call will come, or will not... that's the nerve wrecking part... have been really uptight and stressed out even after assessment... not to mention having any great sleep... but all has ended!!! I PASS!!! WHEE~~~ finally i can rest well...

i have to apologise to those that had to stood up to my crankiness and crappy mood swings recently... i can't say that all will be totally fine from now on, but things will most likely turn for the better... furthermore, my fav occasion of all time is nearing~ CHRISTMAS!!! what should i wish for? a holiday overseas? HAHA yea rite...

without me noticing, the year is left with only 29 days~ hope 2011 will be a better year yea?

ps: i think i really need some retail therapy!!! 5 months or so without shopping is incredible... how did i managed to do that? OH! school -_-

xoxo

Bloggin via my phone... i totally cant get myself to sit up and use my com... lying down to rest my back and leg... all i can say is that im !@#$!@#%$ disappointed in myself... it's either the pain has escalated tremendously or im just getting weak by the second... or both...

taken aback that i actually succumb to the pain to the extent i couldnt focus at all... half the time my eyes were like squinting due to all the shit happening to my back and leg... And my head filled with one big fugly-looking word... flashing in bright red... PAIN...

disappointed in myself... this suck...

just keep chasing pavements? maybe im tired of chasing... 'cos i know it'll lead NOWHERE... it's no longer an IF...

so much for wanting to die die overcome all sorta pains and probs, and go back to ballet or take up jazz , contemp V... Odette? pft! not even Odile... indeed i was young and naive then...

it was all a dream then, and it shall remain only a dream from now on...

it's bleak...

disappointed... im not that strong afterall...

!@#$%^&*^%$

yes, im blogging... miracle~ i shouldnt be since assessment day isnt over yet! well, right now i'm waitin for my mum to knock off and im chillaxin at the starbucks in valley pt... once again i have to say that this outlet has one of the best customer service... maybe cos the rich hangs and stays here... I WANNA LIVE HERE!!! HAHA just for the starbucks? im nuts~ sippin my warm caramel macchiatto on a rainy day, chillaxin at starbucks is heaven~~~ but no matter how hard i try to push all my troubles on school work to the back of my head... i still can't... so yea... it's haunting me... RAWR!

assessment day is on the 25th for me. By then i have to finish every single assignment i have for every subject. -_- it's gonna be tough... just bought 3 pieces of friggin huge canvas which cos a bomb! for a SINGLE piece of art... yes i love to "zuo si zi ji" i just have to come up with complicated and creative designs and make my life miserable... not that im unable to come up with simple ones... but i know im capable of more~ so yea... why am i such a bitch to myself... i will never noe...

Fortunately, dance paused and will be resuming after my assessment day... zhun or what? even though i hate not having dance for 2 wks... i guess it's a good thing 'cos now's the time for me to focus solely on my priority... and that's if i don't procrastinate that is...

V, YOU DO NOT HAVE ANYTIME TO PROCRASTINATE OR TO EVEN TAKE A BREATHER!!! DO OR DIE!!!

HAHA i just have to do that :p so anw spent lots of money on art materials... school doesnt provide with anything despite us paying such high fees... what a rip off! so for those aiming for art school... think THRICE!!! twice is just not enuff! HAHA speaking of which, two classmates of mine, or should i say ex-classmate withdrew from school... sucha waste of money... i can't understand those who don't stick to the end... no one said life's gonna be easy anw... haixx don't understand... but none of my business... just feel sad for their parents... they might have stacks and piles of money to throw away... but still it's a fact that one can't deny it's a waste...

well back to school work~ my short clip for my MIS(moving images and sound) workshop got exhibited! WOOHOO~ well i wouldnt say it's perfect, cos if given more time, i'm sure i'll be able to package it better... but well time was never on our side... and besides, it's the first time i've done any video clip, first time using the program and not to mention a first in doing animation... so i'm HAPPY~~~

another one which im really proud of is my photoshop movie poster... well both works, the video clip and the poster is inspired by one of my fav artist M.C Escher... he's a genius~ once again i like to make my life miserable by coming up with such complicated works... no one thought i'll be able to do it, not to mention finish it in the limited timeframe.. but i did! and my lecturers were highly impressed... keke^^ well it's not about the exhibition that matters, it's how i managed to impress my lecturers and change their views on stuff that matters the most to me... the sense of satisfactory is really great! Even though it takes sleepless nights and turned me into a walking corpse in the day, it's all worth it man!!!

My short clip... as said~ it's a first and it's not perfect... but yea~

urgh colour and quality difference after uploading... why's that?!? RAWR! but anw was thinking on the path of a "do not litter campaign" advertisement... lolx money face la me... well, it's a SHORT clip... and one might wonder why it takes time... well that's cos the original picture by M.C Escher is this...

And i photoshopped a hell lot to make it into this...
It's friggin tedious... and that's not all... i had to make the characters move... so since 1 sec is made up of 12 frames with pauses... i had to photoshop few hundred pictures to make up the whole clip!!! plus with all the sound recording and correcting and what not... one word... URGH!!! im still not satisfied with the results cos i noe if given more time it WILL be better... i might work on it again in the hols... but for now, it's fine~ at least i got the recognition i deserved from lecturers, classmates and the peeps who came to the exhibition ^^ THANK YOU~~~

as for my photoshop movie poster... the inspiration piece for Escher will be this...

And my final product is this...

Argh! the colour turn out weird on blogger... my original file better... more vibrant... but anw what's amazing is that this picture all started and originated from solely this...

SEE HOW MUCH WORK I'VE DONE AND HOW MUCH BRAIN CELLS I KILLED JUST TO MERGE AND CREATE THE SETTING OF THE POSTER?!? i still had to take pictures of myself... which i don't normally do... weird... noticed the cast in my movie? HAHA!!! well i didn't want to crack my brains further to think of some tom dick and harry name... and i need quite a few... so what's the biggest boy band? but of cos right? it's not cos im biased yea? or maybe i am... keke^^

seriously, i think im a nutcase... who the hell tortures themselves like that huh?!? i should really learn how to go easy on myself... and it's not even doing what i like or want... im a nutcase... either that or im a masochist who loves torture... nah~ i doubt so~

so yup this two works are my latest fav... of cos my earlier ones are oso to my liking... DUH i created it -_- but im too lazy to upload them...

o well... no song intro today... can't think of any at the moment... so yup... im off~~~

ps: how i wish i could go on a holiday after assessment... but no i can't... V's not entitled to have any holiday privileges due to time constraints... again~ what's new... *i should just run away~*

pps: DO NOT TAKE OUT ANY OF MY IMAGES OR VIDEOS FROM THIS BLOG WITHOUT PERMISSION!!! if you must, leave a comment... anyone who rips off will go bald and have a face full of zits!!! RAWR!!! XD but seriously, copyrights and problems of plagiarizing... if not i'll resort to watermarks or not post anything at all... please understand and respect yea? much appreciated~

finally im here to blog~ it's been a long time eh? wanted to blog when sem ends... or on my bday next yr when i turn 18 :p strictly speakin, i've only one week of sch left... then self preparation for assessment... mine's on the 25nov... wish me luck!!!

honestly i can't rmbr all that i wanted to blog about :p i'll just rant whatever is on my mind then... pardon me...

well as many should noe... school has been crazy!!! sleepless nights are the worst!!! rushing deadlines... accomplishing works... then more deadlines... and more works... it's just never ending! and i heard that from next yr onwards... foundation yr is gonna be 2 yrs instead of 1 cos the workload is alot! and tt workshops should be of a longer time... even tho i wish workshops can have more time to churn out a good product be it a video clip or a photoshopped poster... im thankful that im the last batch for the 1 yr thing... it also means that i must nt fail and retain! if i were to... choy la! i will be doin foundation for 3 yrs... GOD!!! i wont fail!!! HAHA so yea... lots of sleepless nights... coke has once again became my good friend... so much for kicking the habit eh? but no matter what i thought the worst has gotta be travelling... 2 hrs to travel to sch is really no joke... not to mention the same duration back home... it's super tiring!!! how i wish i drive~ or there's someone to drive me to and fro :p i wish~ *smack myself in the face* stop dreaming V*

Even though sch's been crazy, it's still a hella fun!!! met amazing lecturers and even though there are some irritating ppl too... they're really not worth my time la~ :p but yea lecturers are awesome! especially when all of mine are part time... they're so cool~ one is even a professional ballroom dancer... he's always champion at dance sport event! cool or what?!? but i hate the subject he's teaching... 3d... always cause me sleepless nights doing all sorts of 3d shit! seriously shit!!! and i even got selected for an exhibition in acm -_- wonder how i did it... 3d's not my thing... he's a masters holder in interior design~ ballroom dancer doing interior... haha weird combi! young and has this "fanclub" by his fangirls who thinks he's hot -_- i don't really think so tho :p but anw he really pissed me off when we were randomly chatting why dancers tend to date dancers... his answer was that cos dancers have no life!!! it's only school and dance studio -_- even though ones i've dated in the past are dancers... but their from other crews damnit!!! the one without a life is you dude!!! HAHA!!! totally ticked him off in class~ bleh :p and adding on to this... he's really childish! his fangirls think it's cute... but i beg to differ... thus im not in the fanclub DUH! but i really appreciate it when he wrote this small note to me telling me to dance on! THX DUDE!

so anw since alot of sch work is about oneself... i come to realise that dance is like something im trying to grab onto dearly... cos i can strongly say that it's everything i ever have and without it... i wouldnt be me... there were stuff like, express yourself with 3 objects dearest to you... mine are all related to dance in some way or other... subconsciously, it's all linked to dance... and several works of mine have elements of dance... to the extent that my lecturers said it's a distinct style of mine... cool or what...

seriously, i can't imagine me without it... maybe in the future... but that thought of life without dance scares me... greatly...

to be honest... for the past two months... there has been a great prob with my back... whats new eh? but well some old ailments from 2008 came back to visit... not that it wasnt thr to start with... just that it was under control... like i still could suppress the pain... but recently the pain is so overpowering to the extent that i couldnt focus in the mid of a dance... which in turn makes me pissed of with myself, of course... and it's all on the left side of my body... the pain shoots up from my left foot to my left side of my back and at times to my neck... and it's not like my right is fine... it just hurts less... the norm la... FML big time!!! well of cos it hurts not only when dancing la... so dun even think bout asking me to give up dancing... whoever tells me that will get a dressing down from me!

miss the times when dancing is just about dancing... no restrictions no nothing... just about producing the ultimate desired outcome... no pain... just plain enjoyment... dancing with pain has been around since my sec sch years... no matter how long it has been around... i just can't grow accustom to it... neither do i grow accustom to how choreographers cater to what i can do... it sucks... im not blaming my choreographers... OMG DUH they are wonderful... it's me that im upset and angry about... maybe i just don't wanna admit to the fact that i can no longer dance like before no matter how hard i try... but i can't deny the fact that it really sucks seeing other young dancers doing stuff that i once could but no longer can...

Recently, i've really been pondering about what if i don't have any problem with my back or any other shit... will things be different? will what i wanna do in life differ? can i actually work towards the dream of joining the best ballet troop, playing the role of the ever graceful and beautiful odette that i always wished to be when i was a kid in lil ballet shoes and attire? will i be happier?

but rather than dwelling on WHAT IFS... which are totally useless given i can't turn back time neither prevent anything from happening... i can only treasure every second i have dancing... because i would never know when my most treasured would be taken away from me... no matter how reluctant i am to let go... i know someday it will... someday when either physically disallows me to or when my priorities change... but i know i'll always envy those who can keep dancing... it's definitely not easy... but i definitely admire and envy them...

speaking of envy... was at a friend's dance performance not long ago... saw this bunch of irritating dancers who were really full of themselves... yea they had the right to, given their healthy physics and great flexibility what crap... but i can't help but think that they don't deserve it!!! they were horsing around doing some dangerous shit that might injure themselves greatly... not to mention right before their performance... i can't believe how lightly they are treating their safety... it irritates me to the extent i feel like going over and give each one of them a tight slap! no self control or wateva to prevent themselves from getting injured before a perf is one thing... the most impt thing is how they don't realise they are fortunate to be given such great gifts! if only i had their body... i dun care if they suck at skill or not... if i were to wish for something... it will be to have a healthy body, one i once had... like how i always wish ppl to always stay healthy and happy eh? cos that's the most important thing in life to me... haixx these ignorant kids! RAWR!

another thing that saddens me today was how i realise i wouldnt be able to dance the last part of AHA perf... well even if i could pull it off somehow... no guy can work with me anw... well i know the risk... but yea... URGH! seriously want to try couple dance de... like how i really want to learn tango and rumba... haixx... should have done it when i was a lil girl :p TSK

just like how im thankful to that Laoshi and ZY is willing to "take me in" despite knowing my conditions... i really think that no other choreographers or organisation will dare to take me in knowing my conditions... maybe will after i sign and indemnity form or something... HAHA but well no matter how many times i try to tell myself to be satisfied that there's actually ppl who are willing to "take me in" i can't help but feel depress whenever a dance step has to be changed for my sake... or any restrictions for that matter... i wish i could apprehend the mindset of ppl who thinks the world revolves around them and live with the given attention and changes made for me, but i simply cant!!! i do not like special treatments and i believe that wateva it is, by hook or by crook, i will push myself and make it happen at the end... it just differs in the process. whether it's one which is easy for me to get through or one filled with pain, tears and frustration... two diff situations with two different outcomes... say im a masochist or wateva... but i choose the latter... so long as i produce the desired outcome... i don't mind how hard it will be... but i know all these are just unreasonable and naive thoughts...

and maybe i just wanna grab on to the tail of memories i had when i could do almost anything when it comes to dance... once again, how i wish, dance could be all just about dancing... and not about pain controlling... focusing on which part of my back and leg should i use less force as to reduce the pain but produce the same outcome and whatever crap... i'll give anything if dance could be just dance like how it used to be...

enuff of crappy thoughts... pardon me that i kept repeating all these... cos it really affects me alot no matter how hard i try to self deceive that im fine... and it's been clouding my mind today...

so, today! happy that we did precision dancing! was thinking why i like precision dancing so much... maybe it's to do with how i like unison footsteps and stuff... cos it's all about control and being PRECISE!!! duh -_- and i oso come to think that if my ballet and gym instructors were to see me dancing this... they would look at me in a diff light!!! HAHA who would have thought... the lil amateur ballerina then would evolve into this eh? too bad, i heard that they are now teaching overseas~ TSK!

and during practice today... i've got a new goal for myself... a goal that i wish to accomplish... well while looking at ZY cracking his brains, trying to come up with alternative dance steps that we could accomplish... i was wondering if he did try to make the steps easier to cater to our standards... well maybe yes maybe not... *you can tell me about it after you read this :p* so it struck me that my new goal is to reach the day when he does not need to worry about catering to our standards... the day when there isnt a need to crack his brains to come up with something easier... will be the day that we truly excel... im not trying to fan his ego yea? and i was really thinking about it at that moment of time... shared with Vian too... and her reply totally dampened my high spirits... she was like "yea... maybe in a thousand years time ba... -_-" thx arh -_- HAVE SOME FAITH WOMAN!!! HAHA!!! so yup... new goal added to my list of things to accomplish then... *pls do not tell me its pca or what crap, i'll ban you from reading my blog! or i'll just don't update :p HAHA!!! you noe i'm toking bout you~~~*

oh! i wanted to pick up ballet again, even though i know i will face many setbacks when faced with stuff that i once could do easily but now cant... i still wanna try again... to push my limit... but who would take me in?!? even if i were to hide my conditions... i can't hide it for long... it'll show anw... RAWR! vexed... sleepy... shall stop ranting here...

once again i feel that i should intro songs... and so i will~ intro songs than im listening to while blogging ba~ sad ones~ cos yea vexed right now...

introducing a male soloist that i really like... when it comes to sad ballads... Kwill!!! his voice is really really good!!! shall upload 2 songs of his that i really like!

his voice is just so sad but warm right? check out his other songs too yea? no time for me to do a full update :p

another song that i must intro~ by trax~

yup your eyes arent playing tricks on you... it's heechul from suju and victoria from f(x) in the mv~ they are all from sm.ent... so that explains~ i love the melody and lyrics of the song... i dun really fancy rock ballads... but this is an exception yea? maybe cos i like jungmo(the guitarist and genius who plays multiple instruments) from trax... keke^^ bias? maybe :p

ok then here's an extra clip of heechul singing the trax song above, for those who thinks heechul can't sing at all... well~ he's just not confident at times~ and he strains his throat voice alot... which explain why it's hoarse at times... but listen~ he can sing for sure!!! just nervous~ cos he's singing for his ideal girl- sohee of WG~ who happens to be there.. the one who can make mighty KIM HEECHUL all shy~ so cute!!!

and of cos... i just had to put in a few donghae clips to end my post nicely~ keke^^ *u guys may skip this part :p*

For those who don't get the game. Eunhyuk is suppose to sing a line of the song. Incoming callers will have to continue singing the right lyrics and the right tune... Donghae's suppose to give a dang when it's incorrect and a ding dong dang when it's right~ now watch~

Puahaha!!! Hae's epic fail with ding dong dang! didnt dang when he needed to, dang when ppl haven't even started singing and what's even more hilarious was when hyuk gave him the "out" hand gesture but he happily ding dong dang thinking the person got it right XD

HAE: "out? what's wrong? where? isnt it correct?" PUAHAHA!!! simply adorkable~~~ super adorable getting all happy and too excited because of the bell thingy... like a kid especially in that hairstyle!!! CUTE~ this is the real donghae!!! no wonder all his hyungs and dongsaengs love him! keke^^

oya! did i mention i bought the ss2 concert dvd? it's fabulous! love how Hae always dance like there's no tomorrow, as though it's the last dance, at the same time always holding onto the passion before he became a celebrity, how he always give every performance his all~ love him!!! keke^^

his self composed and choreo solo ^^

arh~ how can one be so charming?!? HAHA *pardon my fangirl moment*

personally other that this performance... i like the don't don performance the most... i thought it was a good interpretation~

even though it's not a black tank, Hae still does magic in white one~~~ *swoons* keke^^

kkaes~ that's all for today~ dunno when i'll update again but yea definitely sooner than the last wait~ keke^^ off to make a call to ZC, since i guess it's that workaholic's lunchbreak right now in LA... i need a wise old man to talk to~ HAHA he's gonna kill me if he sees this... fortunately, he dun read my blog :p he betta pick up my call!!! HAHA! nitex~

yo peeps... an update before i go to sleep... first day of school's tmrw!!! YAY and RAWR!!! ironic thing is i hate that my nua days are over...on the other hand, happy that im able to start running cos it totally sucks when others started schooling and moved on but im still stuck at the same spot... but one big turn off bout school is that MY TIMETABLE SUCKS!!! seriously... haixx... but bo bian...

im so gonna work hard... so if someone spot me slackin off pls slap me in the face... HAHA!!! i really hope i can get my degree after four yrs... everything's planned out... if things go smoothly... i'll be out of s'pore after 4 or 5 yrs from now... i hope i'll be able to study other stuff abroad while working part time, its just a "maybe" most prolly not tho... i just love studying life, and its a dream of mine to study in a foreign art school... part time job is settled and i just gotta work hard with another thing other than school... that im not worried... cos im good~ WAHAHA!!! bhb much... so priority is school...

met a primary school friend of mine in Lasalle on orientation day... she asked what am i studying... i ans foundation visual arts and she was shocked... so she said "i though you're going into performing arts.. i rmbr u dance... isnt that your dream?" tho she didnt meant to offend or hurt me but yea it did... it hit me like a tidal wave, real hard... all i could managed was "people change..." and i felt real down for the rest of the day... was really a shitty day... my reply sounded that i wanted the change... but its so not true... this caused me to revisit my past hoping it'll inspire my future... but all i end up thinkin was " if i could go back in time, will i have the courage to let go of things i once treasured... will i make the same decisions i once made..." im not saying i regret my decisions... i just tot that having faced the consequences... and if i were to go back in time... i might not have the courage to do the same since i know what i've to face later... dance is one of them...

now, i really feel like transferring to PA... music theatre dance are all fine... parents have also given me the green light... doesnt make a diff if they did not anw :p but its really risky... if only i didnt give up... fate just gotta play with me after i lost almost all my dance skills by getting me into cchy which has this stupid rule saying "only dancers can have long hair..." i admit my initial intentions when i first went back to dance and joined dance for cca was to just keep my long hair... but i nvr regret it... cos i met Laoshi and many others... meeting them is one of the luckiest happenings in my life... even tho now i have to accept the ugly fact that there are stuff which i once could acheive but no longer can or try ... i seriously dun regret it... ive really tried having dance outa my life... but somehow i always go running back to it again... well... guess all i can do is to push myself harder den before eh? i know my limits... but i dislike and WILL NOT stick to them... HAHA

dance today was great! its been long since i went for laoshi's class... so nostalgic... guess its my last stress-free dance prac? since sch's starting... my priority will have to change from dance to sch... sad and it sucks but no matter what IM STILL DANCING!!! ^^

anw my president is from UK... did a check on him and wow! his education history blew me away... since he's from UK... the british accent~~~ keke^^ went orientation for less than 2hrs... but i didnt complain cos i learnt a valuable phrase from my president... he said " you artists are fundamentally dissatisfied with the present, yet optimitic about the future..." its actually really true... cos i would never be satisfied leading a mundane and rigid office lifestyle... and i know i could change or create something good... maybe its only me... but i feel that it applies in alot of things i chose to do... because of this phrase... i tot that travelling to and from sch for 4hrs while just staying there for less then 2hrs of orientation was worth it^^

kkaes shall upload a video which is long overdue... at least i added a video to this boring post right? watch~ keke^^


shindong is soooo cute!!! and black tanks!!! its the cherry on top or what? scratch that... more like cherries stacked on top keke^^

experience many first days of schools but i still cant get use to it... getting the jitters... wish me luck:) nitex...

credits: tnkl94

xoxo

yo peeps! here to update!!! keke^^ its gonna be a long post i guess... cos i'll be uploading pics:) so mafan~ lolx... so anw first thing's first... SUJU's no other mv is out!!! it's out since wed... the mv is mad cute!!! donghae is uber cute in it... practicing how to present the rose... keke^^ love eunhyuk's hair and wow! he's one hella attraction in this mv... keke^^ now watch!



ARH! my donghae's so cute!!! WAHAHA!!! i believed i posted the perf of this song on mubank last week... so i'll be posting up the perf from music core, inkigayo and today's music bank...



music core~ well jeans, light blue and sailor are the trends for this year's fashion... especially in summer and autumn... so that explains their stage clothes... and i have to say! donghae looks so hot!!! HAHA well seriously who can look that hot in just a white t and jeans? HIM!!! lolx... but i have to admit... it's a TIGHT top... keke^^



inkigayo~ school look... neat! its been awhile since their last matching clothes perf...

for today's music bank they did an interview before the perf... here goes~





aww~ teuk's "kang-in ah bogoshipeo" meaning kangin-ah i miss you... kangin's in the army now :( it was so sad... i read all the articles and watched all the vids of him leaving for army... suju went to see him off... they appeared like a gang of mafia... lolx walking in a big group... all spaced out... as if in a mv shooting... it was real heartbreaking when they were talking and kangin broke down... he kneeled to greet his fans before leaving... super sad... shant post the stuff up here... super sad la...

so anw back to happy stuff... if you guys are observant... you'll be able to see that there are many cute interactions between the members during all of their perf of no other... like hitting of ppls' butts... take today's for example... hae and hyuk hit kyu's when he was singing... den hyuk hit sungmin's when yesung is singing... den there's mischievous hae who PUNCHED hyuk's TWICE... HAHA!!! love the perf of no other!!! daebak!!! and it seems like most ppl think so too... why? cos they won 1st on mubank today!!! no other 1st win!!! keke^^



축하 해요!!! o! i seriously love the cameraman for today's mubank... he did so many closeups... and during encore the closeups on donghae!!!

another thing that caught my attention on mubank today was Son Dambi's comeback... bringing "can't you see" and "queen"... i like cant you see perf... the choreo is great and i like the song!!!



ppl were commenting that she hardly sings in this perf... LIKE DUH!!! with that kinda dancing you expect her to sing? even ppl with great vocals cant do it yea? so if you cant, just shaddup, don't watch and GET A LIFE!!! can't stand it...

i'll just put up the perf of "queen" too... cutesy... i prefer "cant you see" ^^



random note~ love her shorts... look like mine... but i only have 1 grey and 1 black... none of that shade... RAWR!!! so that's the main points of this post before i forget...

now on to wut sup in my life recently... right now im at my grandma's house in my uncle's room... i've been staying here since wed? and i'll be back home tmrw... my uncle's on a business trip to china till sunday... so i thought i'll come over to keep my grandma company... i once lived here when i was younger... she takes care of me when my parents were too busy to... she's 81 this year ^^ relatively healthy^^ last year, for her 80th birthday... i was in charge of some stuff which got me real busy and tired cos it happened to be near the o's... not that im busy studying or wat :p just that the tests and workload is ALOT!!! i have to deal with some dua pai ppl cos there's two celebration days... one for relatives and family friends and another for business partners and friends... even tho it was kinda stressful for me and i totally hate formal events... i hope i can get involved for the 90th birthday bash too!!! so grandma, stay healthy yea!!! ^^

ytd i had to run errands here there... travelled and tapped my card for more den 10 times... managed to head back home to take a look of the progression... went back to my grandma's house to pass her some stuff, back home cos i wanted to see them putting up the ceiling, curious ma :p and head back to my grandma's house... thats the schedule from 5 to 9 in the evening only... 2 buses and 1 mrt to and fro both houses... i shant even mention the morning and afternoon one... up and about since 7 in the morning is no joke!!!

so now my house is finally looking decent... the floor is done and the partition's up... ceiling in the living is up too... its real funny cos when i went back home to watch them put up the ceiling... they were eating and was gonna call it a day... they did the partitions and plastering for the whole day... tiring enough le... but dad was like " eh she came back just to see you guys put up the ceiling neh" in hokkien... den one goofy guy said to me in chinese "i know you wanna watch so we took a break and waited for you to come back... haixx now v stress neh..." lolx! so i stood there and looked... apparently they had to measure the whole ceiling to see whr they should place the metal bars... oya! i have to say the contractor for the building is a total asshole... my whole house is wai wai de... the floor wai... ceiling wai... wall also wai... WTH LO!!! screw you!!! you know what... i bet you've closed down and is no longer in this industry!!! BLEH :P so anw back to what i was saying... after measuring with the laser thingy which shoots around the room *cool or wat?* dey put up the bars... which looks like this...





after that's done... the ceiling boards have to be up... this is what i've been waiting for!!! keke^^ dad's once in charge of all this stuff... he studies all this... yea i noe he's now a taxi driver... but that's because he wants to for fun -_- just like my mum... O! side track... mum got the job, the one i pei-ed her to the interview... i wonder how long is she gonna stick to it again this time... fingers crossed... so anw... dad says that they'll use their head to ding zhu and den drill it onto the metal bar... i laughed and doubted him, saying that isnt there a more professional way to do it that doesnt make you look stupid? and he said no and its the fastest way so... and indeed...

see! cute right? haha... the one in black is the goofy one... he was asking me not to take the pic cos he shy... pft! yea right... so i said at least i din take a vid right? i would've recorded what you've said... HAHA the other guy was more serious but he said to me that, in his many working years never had he seen a teenage girl observing them working... told him im unique and he said yea... keke^^ he was sweating like crazy till i could see his tattoo tru his shirt on his back so i asked "uncle you got ang gong arh?" den he was like "aiyo how you know? yea dun mess with me i very fierce one" lolx den i pick up the screw gun, pointed at him and said "let's see who's the fierce one" he raised his two hands as if in surrender which cracked everyone up... lolx well i use to hang at the sites my dad works at, so im quite comfortable with being around all this... anw the original ceiling to my house is already low... but to conceal the wirings and stuff, we have to do this... well our whole family's short... so it doesnt really affect us keke^^ see that door on the left of the pic? its the door to my room:) yea first door when entering my house... it gives me alot of privacy since my door will always be close and the other doors to my bro and parents' room is further in... the down side is that if i have to call for help... i would have to phone my mum... dey wouldnt hear me cos my walls are sound proof... and my door's far from theirs... o well...

my door... to my room... yea i noe there's another door in the wall in my room... thats the original door to my room, its gonna be closed... was wondering if i should remain that door so that my room and my bro's will be linked... but nah! keke^^ i mentioned the extention i did to my room... and that its gonna be my wardrobe right? so here it is...

dad promised me a total of 60cm extension... but does this look like 60cm to you? NO!!! ARH!! wateva la~ at least there's an extension... i shant create a big wuha...

right now, my house is still in a big mess :(

but its all part of the process... things are only gonna change for the better ^^ anw... see that spongey looking thing on the floor as well as the one wrapped up in red white? thats the foam thingy to be placed in between the walls to make it sound proof ^^ oya! are you guys able to spot the floor? its the new flooring o! wood~ my fav... of all the last houses i lived in... there's tiles, carpet and my dad ultimate fav... marbles but not wood! so this time i chose wood and my bro chose the colour... i prefer a darker tone... but this is fine too:) the floor's dirty now cos their still working but it beats the previous one that ive mentioned in my earlier post before...

why is this like rotated portrait... its suppose to be landscape... arh watever... and if this is not clear enough...

friggin hideous and disgusting pos!!! shant comment again on it... just glad that's gone forever!!! WAHAHA!!! and about that wall i wanted to lay my hands on personally? mum wun allow!!! she said i would break my hand first den breaking the wall... and that i would have a asthma attack from all the dust and what not... so i din hack the wall myself... but i just have to at least take a pic ^^ mum was furious... but she cant do anything :p

cool eh? so anw thats it on my house... up till ytd... im going back tmrw to check on them before heading out^^

my room's gonna be purple and black... dark tone... its gonna be like a mini movie theatre.. WAHAHA i know that hot pink and black looks nicer... but im sick of pink walls... my last room was pink... so i thought i should do purple and black or earthy colours... and i come down to purple and black :) hope it looks good :) if nt i cn just paint it again ^^

now for some random pics i took recently... at breadtalk and i spot some cute bread... i bet ppl were looking at me funny when they saw someone taking pics of bread instead of buying... well mum's the one buying... im just waiting... might as well mah...



its called smart aleck hao xiao zi... WAHAHA!!! why? lolx dun get it...





at least this makes sense... but LOL at the description... who the hell bothers to read all this when buying bread? o wait... ME! -_-


ahh~ so cute!!! apparently there were loads of them and theres even a display... wonder why? is there some thing called a creative bread day? lolx!!!




yea i noe this pics are rotated portrait again... tried many times to rotate it but cant... so i guess u guys just gotta turn your head for abit... ridiculous but do it! keke^^

ive always loved lollipops ^^ not to mention going goo goo gah gah over gigantic ones... but just not this one... *childish mum tried to distract me by putting her head next to the lollipop when i was taking the pics... camwhore much?!? still dare to ^^Y me neh!!!*







i just dun like doraemon... it kinda freaks me... like how he use to be yellow and have ears... but some rat or wateva ate his ears and he was depress and became blue? WTH you've got depression!!! go to a psychiatrist and fix your depression dude! i know its weird to imagine ppl turning blue when they are depressed... but think bout it... ppl with depression would just turn to avatar... FREAKY!!! so yea~

yup im done for the day!!! blogged for real long cos of these pics!!! oya! i got a blackberry 9700 as said! while on skype, my status was like "i love my bb" and immediately some ppl were like "OMG you finally got a boyfriend after 4yrs?" i even got a voice chat call from ppl overseas asking me bout it... FYI its BlackBerry... for goodness sake... do i look like someone who calls my bf "bb"? -_- HUH!!! TELL ME!!! RAWR!!! lolx... bb=/= baby... diff!!!

this year i really got alot of stuff that i wanted... like macbook, check... lollipop phone, check... blackberry, check... now its time for my intuos 4... ordering soon :)

gotta wake up early tmrw :( nitex peeps~

ps: i miss my Lucky boy!!! he's at a friend's house cos of the renovation going on at mine... he cried when he saw ppl hacking down the wall... so for his own good he has to stay at a friend's for now... I MISS MY BABY BOY!!! WAH!!!

credits: sment, mrgoldenfishman4, sujuforlife, UnknownCarrot120

xoxo

yo peeps... had a bad day~ RAWR! my mum's having an interview today... yea she quit her job again not long ago... and is going for ANOTHER job again~ haixx i dun even noe what she work as anymore... she changes too fast for me to catch up... told her i'll accompany her... weird eh? daughter accompany mother go interview... so yea its at valley point *where the hell is that* and i asked my mum hw are we getting there... she said to take the mrt to orchard and board a bus at the bus stop behind wisma... and i THOT she knew...

when we got to that busstop there isnt the bus that she was supposed to take... i pointed to another busstop at the other side of the road and she says that shes positive that wasnt it and said we should walk further down... so off we went... braving through the thunder storm and leaping across deep puddles of water... reached another bus stop but still dun have that friggin bus... 30 mins left till the interview time... so decided to cab there... went to the taxi stand at taka... and MY! the queue is friggin long and theres a jam there... queued for 20 mins and we gave up... mum called the HR and the HR gave her the directions... so walked into taka and to wisma and out again... mum keep telling me to walk further down... and i pointed to the bus stop again, the same one as i did earlier... but she kept telling me its not that... no matter how much i insisted to at least go over and take a look... so we walked and walked and walked... the place getting from city to ulu... WTH lo seriously... and it was still pouring!!! both of us got lost and decided to ask a passer by... passer by gave us some ridiculous directions and even asked if we're foreigners while looking at me... mad embarrassing!!!

after that mum called the HR again and started walking back to where we came from... but this time, she decided to walk on grounds not fit for humans... its like mud and bushes and what not... it was so slippery and muddy cos of the storm... every step i take i was like "omg, omg! OMG!!!" i was so traumatized and pissed that i started walking on the road instead... it occurred to me that walking on the road seems safer then on the muddy ground where i might slip and fall and die... lolx exaggerating but yea it was really real bad!!! in the end we saw the friggin bus!!! have to run after it and guess what... it stopped at THE BUS STOP I POINTED AT!!! -_- board the bus and i was fuming... not to mention cold... even with an umbrella, i was drenched from top to bottom... mum was like "at least we managed to find it right?" and smiled... i snapped "don't talk to me! im like seriously pissed off!!! why cant you just trust my intuition in the first place!!! no wait! why did i trust yours?!? OMG!!!"

took me quite a while to calm down... finally reached valley point after 1.5 hr in the rain looking for the stupid bus stop... fortunately theres a starbucks... immediately head there to get a drink to calm my nerves... i was friggin traumatized... and mum was half an hr late for her interview... i swear i was so close to tears at starbucks... i could have been at home watching suju on musicbank bringing their newest song "no other" live... and to add on to this friggin pos... peeps have to piss me off today... its not like one only, but a few... RAWR!!!

i totally have to say this... i seriously cant stand ppl who are angry bout something but geng that their not... seriously why cant you just tell me you are angry or upset... it takes like only a sec? and you rather want me to like guess for hours? what good does it do to keep mum bout it or beat round the bush... isnt it simpler to say it out and solve the prob?!? RAWR!!! well face it! dun expect me to try reading your minds every single sec of the day and im seriously not the kind where i'll guess what you're trying to hide just for me to find out myself... if you dun like me being so straight forward den TOO BAD!!! urgh... totally dun understand... isnt it a serious waste of time to beat round the whole bush... and when i dun sense your moodswings, you get even more upset... ironic much?!? RAWR!!! shall stop ranting... its like waiting for some cash to fall from the sky... USELESS AND DISAPPOINTING!!!

even tho today sum up as a bad day... i managed to have xiao long pau for dinner^^ that alone is enough:) homed and i watched suju's perf... now watch...

such a happy and cute performance! real lighthearted... brings a smile to my face after a hard day:) eeteuk seems really really happy eh? kept smiling... still not over the bday mood i guess keke^^ the stage looks small tho... haha!!! donghae looking great in these clothes and he looks uber cute!!! and i have to say! i love siwon's new haircut and he looks great in those simple clothings too!!!

shall stop for today~ peace out~

ps: oya! i think theres something wrong with my leg... super painful~ arh! wateva!!! i shall do something bout it if it worsens...

pps: blackberry black or white? hmm... *its not a stupid qns kkaes^^*

credits: UnknownCarrot120

xoxo

yo peeps! its been awhile and its been crazy recently... real busy going round town, here there everywhere... well whats new eh? theres so much things happening and that i wanna blog bout but i couldnt find time to jot it down... a time when im free and most importantly AWAKE... haha... so ive forgotten almost all of the happenings... or maybe im just reluctant to blog cos i want the pics of donghae in black tank to always be in the first post keke^^

seems like im super exhausted but not breaking down... when there's time, like after i come home, i'll fall asleep real soon... if not i'll be up doing some stuff... its real annoying... and its not that i cn slp well... been sleeping and waking up every 2 hours and having weird dreams... headaches every single day... its really annoying me till no end... guess the day when my house is fully renovated and everything is done, would be the day i'll be able to regain my peaceful sleep without dreams... but by then i'll have to worry bout starting sch... RAWR fml...

so anw im not going to fuss bout my house anymore... learning to appreciate it... and maybe i can get the contractor to let me help hacking down the wall to my room as a method of relieving stress... HAHA violent much... so anyway like what i predicted... two weeks for approval and what not... they'll be starting the renovation on monday... monday hacking... tues wiring... wed flooring... this is the schedule the contractor gave me... told him i want the full schedule... cos no dragging is allowed... efficiency is so important! HAHA working for me is HARD WORK! too bad... you suay la!!! keke^^ was also pressing him to search for diff contractors to do diff stuff at the same time... so things can finish faster... he stared at me like i was nuts but in the end he managed to do it... SEE! if i dun push? you would have thought its impossible!!! bleh :p

oya! theres alot of good food near my house... im like surrounded by diff hawker centres and market... its kinda cool... used to love eating hawker food when i was following my dad around when i was younger... but as i grew up... i tend to settle for fast food cos their FAST like DUH and theres aircon... and now im learning to appreciate hawker food once again~ theres like pineapple rice... seafood soup... braised pig trotters *yet to find vinegar pig trotters tho*... lots and lots of yummy malay food! and many others... haha... o! there's this store that's called UNCLE PANCAKE... haha so cute... its the kind of chinese pancake with the nuts inside? i hardly see a pancake store with a huge headboard... and you could have 1, 2 or 3 types of fillings in 1 pancake... cool eh? taste good or not i dunno... i only eat the peanut ones^^ its good~ arh talking bout food makes me hungry~~~

today i went out for lunch when there was this thunder storm on going... two strokes of lightning strike in the carpark beside where i was... freaked the hell out of me... mum and I was like hanging onto each other for dear life... HAHA and for dinner i went out again~ bus-ed there and bus-ed back... bus-ing back was horrifying... not to mention there were alot of foreign workers boarding that bus... but you noe whats even more frightening then being on board with a bunch of foreign workers and being the only female? not knowing where to alight and HAVING NIGHT BLINDNESS! i totally couldnt see where i was... cos it was too dark... so instead of fearing being the only girl on board with loads of foreign workers... i feared not being able to get home on a single bus trip... just think bout it... if i were to end up at the woodlands interchange... i'll look damn stupid cos i'll need to take another bus back home when i did pass my house on the first trip... luckily theres the SPC near my house... so immediately alight when i saw the SPC... smart or wat? HAHA!!!

funny thing happen... i alighted at the bus stop opp my house and theres like this underpass for me to cross the road... but my parents were like asking me not to walk the underpass cos its late and ulu... weird eh... if something bad's gonna happen... it would happen anywhere anytime... but din argue with them so i took the long way to the traffic light -_- dad reckoned he should come down to pick me... but i end up reaching home without seeing him... and i seriously think that my dad shouldnt be living in the 21st century... he doesnt bring his phone along wherever he goes... irritatin much? so my mum went down to look for him instead... soon dad came home without mum... lolx... luckily my mum carried her phone... phoned her to come up and quickly skipped to the bathroom to bathe... to avoid my mum nagging at my dad bout the phone thingy.. lolx picking me up? pfffttt yea rite~ -_-

now for the main point of this lengthy post... its 1st july!!! taeyang's new solo album is out!!! his title song mv was out today and he's on today's mnet countdown... now watch...

title song: i need a girl ft.Gdragon (dara in mv)

guess all the male idols are going for the "unleash my sex appeal" thingy eh? lolx lucky no black tank ^.~ white tank just have no effect on me keke^^ 2ne1's dara is so pretty and cute! despite her age... baby face indeed... told my friend after i watched the mv... her first reaction was "WOAH! taeyang despo much?!?" lolx cracked me up!

next is his perf for today... only thing i can say is that... whats wif his vocals? maybe he's sick... def not the best perf... brought 3 songs... i need a girl... just a feeling and you're my... vocals for you're my is just -_-



GD's looking hella cute! charismatic leader indeed! bias? maybe keke^^



i tot that this song should be the title song instead...



vocals really -_- rite? offtune here there... tempo -_- well maybe its a bad cold... real bad one... got hold of all his songs... will update if i find anything interesting after i hear the whole album^^

to my surprise, today on mnet countdown, not only there's taeyang's comeback, but also a perf by kattun!!! jpop into the K industry!!! seems like they're holding a concert in korea... without jin i guess... sad... brought d-motion and there's a backstage interview of them... kattun speaking korean and minhyuk of cnblue speaking jap is simply adorable!!!



KAME!!! haha fangirl much? love kame!!! jpop its like that isnt it? its like they don't dance to their fullest but still charismatic... just taking of his glasses is enuff for fangirls to faint on the spot... HAHA it would be perfect if only jin's here...



nakamaru and his mumbling... HAHA! how to stop him from mumbling? put him somewhere high up and he will start screaming out loud!!! keke^^ like this...

WAHAHA!!! this vid never fails to crack me up!!! HAHA!!! sidetracked~

oya! i forgot to blog bout the additional songs in suju's repackage album... 4 additional songs... they stopped promoting bonamana... last week was their goodbye stage... and tmrw they'll be bringing "no other" ... listen~



sounds oschool? dun ya think? looking for forward to their perf... wonder how they'll present it... the other 3 songs...

a short journey...


composed by DONGHAE!!! and lyrics by eunhyuk... there's a story behind this... as all can hear... kangin sang most of the song... kangin is scheduled to go for army on 5th july... donghae composed this and both him and eunhyuk quarreled with the company cos they wanted kangin to sing... as all know... kangin was "freezed" by SM due to the mistakes he made... decided to enlist for army early so that he could come back, start over faster... SM didnt agree to letting him sing... but donghae and eunhyuk quarreled on saying that its THEIR song and that they should have a say on who should sing it... finally, they managed to get kangin to participate~ ^^ the song brought many ELFs to tears...

i have to say this... donghae's rap is *swoons* keke^^

all my heart...


this is by eeteuk and sjm's henry:) teukie's dream come true since pre-debut days... gratx!

shake it up remix


its a remix of the song shake it up in the album... remix by one way chance and donghae:) oneway luv!!! HAHA

long entry~ shall end of here... oya! visited the universal studio last fri... will post pics up when im free:)

and its eeteuk's birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

정수오빠 생일축하합니다!!! ^^

credits: Bigshineebeast, BigBangSHINeeWorldSK, Sujuism01, TheMinhoAddiction, saranghaeSUJU11, nisha021737

xoxo^^